{Today and next Friday I am re-visiting posts I wrote in 2010 for a series called “A Different Advent.” I love how some of the Advent practices we started then are still keeping me focused this year, like these three suggestions for how to treasure my time during such a hectic season.}
A couple of years ago I had the pleasure of hearing Beth Moore speak at the “Deeper Still” Christian conference in Birmingham. When she spoke about the Advent season and the concept of treasuring, one thing she mentioned stuck with me fast:
“Treasure,” said Moore, “gets lost in the same trash as our time.”
She had the audience – all 13,900 of us – repeat the phrase after her:
Treasure gets lost in the same trash as our time.
Moore’s statement suggests that if we want to treasure this holiday season, if we want to find hope and peace, joy and Jesus amid the frenetic busyness, we need to free up the space and time to do so.
For me, the best way to do this is simply to say no. Today I’m sharing with you the three ways I say no during the holidays in order to say yes to God.
Say No to Invites
I typically decline one or two seasonal events, even if it’s something I or the kids want to attend. Just last week, for example, I declined an invitation to a party where I knew Santa would make an appearance and piles of homemade Kiss cookies would be spread out lavishly on a table.
How could anyone possibly say no to peanut butter Kiss cookies? I knew the kids, Rowan especially, would love to go. But I also knew it would take place on a Sunday night after I’d been out of town all weekend. And I could see without a shadow of a doubt that I would be overtired and cranky and in no mood.
Sometimes it’s beneficial to look at our calendars and the timing of events, and be honest with ourselves about what’s going to be too much. Knowing your limits helps prevent hectic holiday overload.
Say No to Perfectionism
For me, saying no to perfectionism this year means my gifts won’t look like Martha Stewart stopped by for a wrapping soiree. And my Christmas photo card will be created in 15 minutes flat on Walgreens.com. And my mantel will be decorated the exact same way it’s been decorated for the last 11 years.
Maybe for you saying no to perfection means forgoing Christmas cards or the newsletter altogether. Or baking one kind of Christmas cookie, instead of three or four.
Perfection arrives in the smallest, most humble package of all — a baby, swaddled in cloths and laid in a run-down barn. But if we are so busy perfecting our staircase garland and our dining room table, we’ll miss the One True Perfection entirely.
Say No to Overspending
I finished my Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving this year. And I didn’t go wildly crazy for a change. Each person on my list will receive one modest gift (I’ve been known to give three or four). And the kids will get three gifts each from Santa beneath the tree. Less time spent shopping the crowded malls and fussing over fancy gifts means more time spent quietly at home, away from the blaring commercialism and consumerism that can quickly make Christmas feel ugly and shallow. A few friends and I have also agreed to forgo exchanging gifts in favor of dinner or coffee together. We are choosing “presence” over presents.
The truth is, I am easily wooed by the gifts this season offers – the lights, the music, the sweets, the decorating, the gifts, the parties. Most of the opportunities that come my way are things I would love to do, or experiences my family and kids would enjoy.
But there can be too much of a good thing. There is such thing as too many festivities, too many gifts, too much food and socializing, shopping and celebrating.
Time is treasure. Saying no is a gift.
So what about you? Do you have any tips for dialing down the holiday busyness in order to focus more closely on God? Will you share your wisdom here?
LOVE this, Michelle. I especially love the gift exchange of presence you and your friends have made. I know you said “say no to perfectionism”, but this is perfect! =) Love, Patricia
Thank you! I will try to “choose presence instead of presents.”
It sometimes has to be a conscious decision, and occasionally there’s a little guilt and awkwardness that goes a long with it (suggesting to your friend that you not exchange gifts might feel uncomfortable – but I guarantee she will feel relieved in having to buy one less gift in favor of a relaxing dinner or cup of coffee out instead!).
Thank you so much, Patricia! You know, we all have pretty much everything we need and want, with the exception of quality time with friends and family…so it make sense to focus on that as the gift, instead of buying something just for the sake of buying.
Love you, lady!
Wonderful advice to keep our holidays simple and focused on our relationship with God and family. Thank you, Michelle!
Blessings!
Oh, Michelle, I LOVE this. What great ideas AND I especially love “presence over presents!”
This is great, Michelle. I went to lunch with a friend today–neither of us mentioned presents. This is my slow month at work, so I’ve made an effort to make the rest of it slower, too. It helps that for the first time in several years, the kids are between sports right now. Today, my daughter and I Christmas shopped together, and it was so much more fun than the day I spent shopping alone.
Very practical. Very good suggestions. I decided this year was going to be different, but I know I can do more to simplify. This was a great post! Thank you Michelle. Have a wonderful, peace-filled, Blessed Christmas with your family.
Glad you reposted this one, friend. Do you know what I hoard more than money? It’s time. For me, at times, I have to force a yes every once in awhile.