When I read the article in the Sunday paper, I knew what I had to do.
The story was about Carolyn, a mom of five young boys. She’d wrangled everyone into the car one morning and drove across town to Elliott Elementary, where they were having a winter coat drive for families in need. The problem was that by the time Carolyn got herself and her five boys to the school that morning, a sign was already posted on the door: coats and clothing gone. Not a single glove, hat or jacket was left.
When I read that, and thought of Carolyn standing tired and frustrated outside the school with all her kids, it was perfectly clear what I should do. God practically printed the instructions for me in black ink across the newspaper page. The trouble was that I didn’t particularly want to do it. I didn’t want to go to the trouble of emailing the reporter and tracking down the contact information for Carolyn. And worse, I didn’t want to call a perfect stranger to have an awkward conversation and risk sounding like a creepy lunatic.
Recently I read the story in Luke in which Jesus sends Simon Peter back out to sea to fish. In the past I’ve always focused on the “following” aspect of this story – the fact that Simon Peter abandons all his worldly possessions and his livelihood to follow Jesus to become a “fisher of men.” But this time I noticed something else. When Jesus instructs Simon to return to sea to let down his nets again, Simon Peter says this:
“Master, we worked hard all last night and didn’t catch a thing. But if you say so, I’ll let the nets down again.” (Luke 5:5, NLT)
Can you hear the doubt and reluctance in Simon Peter’s answer? “But if you say so,” he says begrudgingly, wearily. I can almost hear his thought-process – “What a waste of time, I was out there all night and didn’t catch a single fish. I don’t feel like dealing with the hassle of heading back out. But whatever…if you say so…”
The key is that Simon Peter obeys God; he acts in obedience, in spite of his reluctance and doubt. In spite of the fact that he simply does not want to.
“Go out where it is deeper,” Jesus tells Simon Peter.
Go deeper.
Where does God want us to go when we distrust or feel inclined to disobey? He wants us to go deeper – acting, following, obeying; walking obediently through distrust and out the other side.
I finally called Carolyn. I admit, I procrastinated for a day or so after I got her telephone number from the reporter. But I finally made the call. And yeah, I felt silly and awkward, and I stammered and stuttered my way through the conversation. In the end it turned out that my call to Carolyn wasn’t the first she’d received. Others had read the same article and made the same call (and clearly they hadn’t procrastinated), and her boys were all properly outfitted for the winter by the time I contacted her.
The call wasn’t entirely fruitless though. Although Carolyn didn’t need my help, making the call had actually helped me. I’d gone deeper, pushing through my reluctance and distrust, obeying God when I didn’t particularly want to, and emerging grateful and somehow fuller on the other side.
So tell me…when have you obeyed God when you didn’t particularly want to? Did you learn anything?
Writing about spiritual practices {practicing obedience} with Ann today.
When I started volunteering at church, I don’t think I really wanted to. I had a very real sense that God wanted me to start serving others in some way, though, so I started doing it. It’s now 3 and half years since making that decision, and I barely miss a weekend of it. Through that simple obedience, I’ve had the privilege of helping to launch a new campus of that church and watch it grow over the last 12 months. It’s been an honor and a privilege.
Wow, that is awesome – I just love your story, Grayson. Obedience is so hard sometimes, but it always proves fruitful.
hadn’t noticed the “if you say so” before. i definitely have similar thought processes to yours in situations like that.
It might not be in every translation – I am reading the New Living Translation right now, and that phrase really jumped out at me – sounds like something I would say, with a sigh and a roll of my eyes!
I had never that before either … the “if you say so.” But here it is, in my NIV, too: “because you say so.” …
Wrestling with “if you say so” right now…great post, Michelle.
It is a wrestling, isn’t it, Mary? Unfortunately, I very rarely answer God with an, “Absolutely! I’ll get right on it!” More often I hem and haw and try to get out of what I think He is asking me to do.
Oh man, have I ever felt this. The infamous nudge. I went to Newtown soon after the tragedy. I struggled. I wrestled, but I knew I had to go. And as you wrote, I was able to hug many sobbing people…but ultimately I was the one who felt deeply blessed–reminded of how crucial it is for people to come together in times of loss and pain.
~ Wendy
Oh my gosh, Wendy that is a hard one – bless you for our courage and obedience in offering comfort in the wake of such a horrible tragedy. I’ve felt a similar nudge before, have ignored it, and have deeply regretted it. I admire your courage.
Ah. How many times have I procrastinated and then just “forgotten” to do the thing that He told me to do. I’m such a disobedient child at times. Thanks for the reminder to do it, dig deeper.
Oh yes, the “forgetting.” Yup, been there, Renee. It’s SO easy to make excuses for ourselves, isn’t it? But that nudge, the pull in the heart – you know what it is when you feel it, don’t you? God makes Himself pretty clear, but then it’s up to us to obey.
Good post, Michelle!
I’ve had many times when it was difficult to obey God’s prompting, and each time I was glad I had…though not always right away…
In a recent guest-post on a friend’s blog, I told about one of the most difficult times: http://danerickson.net/?p=6504
Michelle, how wonderful that God allowed you to push past the feelings of sounding like a “creepy lunatic” to reach out to Carolyn. Many people (oftentimes, me included) don’t ever get that far. What a beautiful example of going the extra mile to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Because, as you pointed out, we are oftentimes the one who learn the lesson and receive the blessing more than the recipient God has laid on our hearts. Blessings!
Hi,
Linking in with Walk With Him Wednesdays. Listening to God – and actually doing what He says – even if it was a little late is a great way to start the year. We learn by trusting Him, blocking out our fear, and moving into unknown territory. Loved your post.
I will try to have more acute hearing today.
Blessings,
Janis
I love Peter. He whines at Jesus, and then he humors him. I can almost see him winking at his buddies, “Yeah, come on guys, it’ll just take minute and we’ll show him there are no fish out there today… We’ll be in for breakfast in no time.”
Great work, Michelle.
I can relate to Peter oh so well – I’m often the one winking and pooh poohing…only to be chagrined.
So happy to see you here, Lyla!
I love this post. Thanks for pointing out that Peter was doubtful and reluctant in his obedience, too. I have been learning a lot about how to manage these emotions and how obeying isn’t always (and often not) about feeling good.
Also, I haven’t visited in awhile and your new blog look looks great. I always liked the look before, too, but wow! This is great!
I’m glad you stopped by again, Kathleen – Happy New Year (and thanks for the sweet words about the redesign – after more than 3 years at the old digs, it was time for an upgrade!).
Thank you. this spoke to me in a very deep spiritual peaceful spot that i needed to hear and feel. Answering that call reasonates from Simon Peter all the way through the ages to the vessel of you his willing gifted daughter straight to my heart…bless you.
This happened to me in November. Peter was out of town and I woke up early in the morning. 4AM early. I knew a lady was being released from jail and needed a sweater but I hemmed and hawed. Finally, I decided to go, to be there in time for her 5:30 release. I woke my sleeping teenage son and told him what I was doing and where I was going and that I’d be back in time to wake him and his sister up and take them to school.
I drove a few miles downtown in the dark, parked the car and waited. I watched the door to see when she would be released. Officers arrived for the next shift. Finally, I stopped one to see which door I should watch. He motioned to the door and then invited me into the lobby to see the release status. I went through the familiar double doors, the ones I’ve gone through over the last four years as part of the prison ministry.
She’d already been released and was nowhere in sight. On my way home, I looked on street corners, in passing cars and even inside Hardees.
But I was obedient. Maybe next time, we’ll both say yes quicker?
Oh Cheryl – what a beautiful story…even without the “perfect” ending. You obeyed, yes you did. I know, a bit belatedly — but hey, it WAS 5:30 a.m.! We will learn from this, you and I. Next time we will answer the call more quickly (no, I’m most definitely not the grammar police!!).
Or, “more quickly,” in case you’re the grammar police.
Oh I love this…such a powerful reminder. Just obey! And what blessings can come. I have not done anything as big and courageous as offering to get someone some coats. But even just those little God nudgings to call someone or pass on an email or blog post can be just what someone needs. This has happened a couple of times where some little act blesses. And aren’t all of us blessed when we know someone has thought of us?
Those small acts of kindness and generosity are just as important, too — really good point, Elise!
This is one of the best instructions on obeying the will of God. Thank you.