I’ve been thinking about miracles lately. Sometimes I get in a spiritual funk, a period of minutes or hours or days in which I rant and rave a little bit at God. Such was the case last week, when I learned that a former colleague has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer. It’s terminal. With chemo, he has maybe 12 months.
“But God can still do a miracle, right?” Rowan asks, when he hears me pray for this friend. “Yes,” I answer Rowan. “God can still do a miracle.” I hesitate, but I feel compelled to say more. “Sometimes, though, he chooses to take someone to Heaven right away,” I add. “Sometimes he chooses not to do the miracle.”
That’s when I get mad. “So where are our miracles?” I ask God later, as I push a sodden mop over the wood floor. I remember the loaves and fishes, Lazarus and the blind man, and the paralyzed guy who’s lowered through the roof on a mat, and I think, “Why so many miracles back then, why so many miracles in the Bible, and none now?”
Later, after my conversation with Rowan and my subsequent rant at God, Brad comes upstairs while I’m reading in bed. He’s just gotten off the phone with his brother, Cary. “They were out for their anniversary dinner, that’s why he didn’t answer before,” he mentions. I’m confused for a second. Anniversary? Cary and Vanessa’s anniversary is in October; it’s the middle of January right now. And that’s when Brad reminds me: Cary is celebrating his ten-year anniversary. Ten years since he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. Ten years since he was given a 30 percent chance of survival. Ten years cancer-free.
I remember the day like it was yesterday. I remember exactly what we were doing when the phone rang, Cary calling with the news of his test results. We’d been eating baked chicken and potatoes at the dining room table. After Brad hung up the phone, after we’d stood in the kitchen and cried, Noah still strapped into his high chair, I slid the half-eaten chicken off the dinner plates and into the trash can.
As I sit with my book face-down on my lap, Brad standing at the foot of the bed, I think about these ten years that have passed. And I know that each of these years, and every one of these days, is a miracle. For Cary. For his family. For all of us.
What do you think about miracles? Do you think they happen in the here and now? Have you ever experienced a miracle yourself?
I do believe in miracles. Yes I have been healed physically and emotionally. But I also know that sometimes the miracle part is taking our loved ones home. We are never ready for that and sometimes think this is better, but really our hope is for all of us to go to a better place when we are done being here. That is why Jesus said “I make rooms for you.” Even HE said it was better than here.
God chooses to heal or not.
We still need to pray. We still need to ask. We still need to hope.
Then we need to let go and understand the process.
So true, such wise words, Sharon. When my mother-in-law was dying, I wondered where the miracle was. Later, I realized that it was in the time we were able to spend with her before she passed. It’s an incredible gift to tell someone you love them, to have the opportunity to thank them for the immense impact they had on your life. I will treasure that always.
Thank you for the reminder here today, lovely friend.
Beautifully said, Sharon O. I was going to comment until I read yours…. Ditto.
May husband, due to heart conditions, was given six months to live…. almost thirty years ago.
Only God knows.
Michelle, you are such a good writer. I feel like I’m right there with you and your family. Prayers for Cary and family.
I am very fortunate. I belong to a ministry in brooksville, fla.
Our prayer ministry has witnessed more miraculous healings of
every kind than we can list. They are commonplace. This is due
to the power of prayer and presence of God. I see these constantly
and continuously. praise God almight, He reigns!
It’s hard to believe that it has been ten years. Our families have been through a lot in those years Michelle! His was beautifully written. Thanks for sharing your gift with us!
Wow, what incredible timing of “remembering the right hand of the Lord” in the case of your brother in law’s miracle. “The case of” – strange wording….like it’s a mystery or something. Actually, it is a mystery. God’s miracles are totally mysterious. I do believe they happen today for the purpose of giving glory back to God – making His name known. I think perhaps they are more prevalent in spiritually dark places and regions where when the miracle takes place you don’t question if it was really the work of God. In America we have a tendency to pray for God to work and then He does and for some reason we explain it away or question if that was really God working. At times we take credit ourselves. But I do believe I’ve seen God perform miracles – through healing and through the adoption processes we’ve gone through with our children and in our church. Prayed for your friend today.
Thank you so much for the prayers. His name is Jerry. He is a great, great guy.
And thank you, too, for sharing a bit of your story here, too, Melody.
Oh, yes, indeed, Michelle! Miracles still happen and are around us every day if we take the time to look for them. I will be in prayer for your friend . . .
Blessings!
Thank you so much for the prayers for Jerry, Martha. I so appreciate you and your faith!
“One hundred million miracles…happening every day” lyrics from the musical Flower Drum Song — But honey its oh so true! And once I began to SEE them, line them up, list them out, wait for them; they multiplied across the nearly 60 years of living like light streaming through the clouds. Yes I am an ardent supporter of miracles that happen every day!
love how you ranted at God, and how He gently reminded you of a miracle…with the same type of cancer, no less…and at the same time, I can understand those hard conversations with our kids…we had one friend survive cancer, and another did not…I do believe in miracles on one level, and lately I have been asking myself and God, why I don’t believe it for myself but I have a much easier time believing it for other people…another post, right? Thanks, Michelle, for keeping it real
I’ve asked myself that exact question — why do I believe it for others but not for myself — too, Dolly. So yeah, I hear you on that. xxoo
Oh Michelle…YES! I do believe in miracles here and now!!! Every babe that’s born is a miracle. Every tongue that confesses Christ is a miracle. Every snowflake. Every fingerprint. Every voice that rises in song to Him. Every good and perfect gift that comes to us from His hand. No…we don’t always get the answer we so hope and pray for. Like your friend, who may not receive more time as his answer, but be healed by entering into the Saviour’s presence…but we pray anyway, in faith believing. We hope. He just may receive the miracle your brother-in-law received. And what a cause for celebration that would/will be.
I find myself…this very moment…in the midst of a miracle for our family! I cannot go into detail at this time, but it’s a miracle pure and simple. We are over-the-moon in excitement…and deep gratitude to God. I cannot stop thanking Him for all He is doing!
Wonderful post, Michelle!
So GLAD for your family miracle this week, Jillie – whatever it may be!
To answer your questions, yes and yes. God will deliver us, always, sometimes its through the fire (he protects us as we walk through it), sometimes its around the fire (he puts the fire out before we get to it) and sometime by the fire (it consumes us and we are taken to our heavenly home). Trusting and accepting, come what may, is the hard part.
Whoa, I like that fire analogy, Sydney. Thank you for that.