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Michelle DeRusha

Every Day Faith. Faith Every Day.

August 11, 2013 By Michelle 28 Comments

Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday: When You Fear You’ve Flunked the First Commandment

“So what do you think?” I ask my kids as we eat lunch on the back patio. “Do you love God with all your heart, all your mind and all your soul?” They both answer without hesitation. Rowan says yes. Noah says no.

“Why not?” I ask Noah. “What’s getting in the way?” He thinks for a minute, chewing thoughtfully on a slice of nectarine. “Well, I think it’s because God’s not right here, right in front of me. It’s much easier to love you and Daddy and Rowan. And Minecraft.” I laugh, because I know exactly what Noah means.

The very first time I read Jesus’ answer to the Pharisee’s question about which is the greatest commandment, I was relieved. “Is that it?” I thought. “Hey, no problem. I can love God.” Later, of course, reality set in. Love is hard – certainly hard enough with our real, live, flesh-and-blood family and friends, but even harder with our amorphous, intangible God.

The more I thought about that verse, the more challenging it became. What does it mean, for instance, to love God with our whole hearts, minds and souls? Like Rowan asked, “What is the soul, anyway? And how do you love with your soul?”

I think I’m pretty good at loving with my mind. I like to wrestle with Scripture and read theology. I like to dig into the Bible, pondering verses and trying to flesh meaning out of the layers. But heart and soul? I’m not so sure. I’m more pragmatic than emotional. I don’t tear up easily; I don’t profess love with abandon. Loving with my whole heart and soul feels a little too over-the-top.

A few months ago when I was writing the 50 Women book I was introduced to Hannah Whitall Smith. Hannah was a leader in the Methodist Holiness movement during the 1850s and ‘60s. A pragmatist like me, she struggled with the movement’s expectation that believers needed to experience an emotional connection with God in order to be fully sanctified. She often approached the altar call with a handful of Kleenex, trying desperately to will herself to tears. But the tears and the overwhelming emotional response never came.

“I am convinced that throughout the Bible the expressions concerning ‘heart’ do not mean emotions, that which we now understand by the word ‘heart,’ but they mean the will, the personality of the man; the man’s own central self,” Hannah later wrote. “It is not the feelings of the man God wants, but the man himself.” (from The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life)

Hannah’s decision to walk by faith, not feelings, was a turning point in her spiritual journey.

The longer I walk this path, the more I realize that there’s not a right or wrong way to love God. It’s not black-and-white. It’s not simple or easy, but neither does it necessarily need to be complicated. Like I told Noah that afternoon on the patio, we just do our best, and that’s good enough for God. Falling short doesn’t mean we flunk the first and greatest commandment, because God meets us exactly where we are. As Hannah said, God doesn’t necessarily want only our feelings. He wants our whole selves.

Questions for Reflection:
Do you love God with your whole heart, mind and soul? Which of those three areas is the most challenging for you?

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Filed Under: 10 Commandments, Gospels, love, Use It on Monday Tagged With: Gospel of Matthew, Hear It on Sunday Use It on Monday, how to love God, living the 10 Commandments

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Joe Pote says

    August 11, 2013 at 8:16 pm

    Growing up, my father taught me that “heart” in the Bible refers to the place of decisions. It’s a definition that has seemed to fit in my reading of scripture…and in my life.

    So, loving with my whole heart means daily making a fresh decision to continue loving…and to desire to love more deeply.

    Thanks for another great post, Michelle!

    Reply
    • Michelle DeRusha says

      August 12, 2013 at 5:55 pm

      I really like that, Joe – it helps a lot. Thank you!

      Reply
  2. Laura says

    August 11, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    You’re so right — it’s not black and white… I love the paradoxes of the spiritual life — it’s not easy…but in another way, it’s the easiest thing in the world. Looking forward to this book, Michelle!

    Reply
  3. Dawn St Amand Paoletta says

    August 11, 2013 at 10:05 pm

    I love Hannah, and look forward to reading your book- it is going to be one inspiring read! And this post. Just so true and absolutely YES. Learning to walk by faith not feelings is a liberating journey…because it leads us further into His grace, I think. Even if sometimes it feels like a leap into the unknown, and causes us to catch our breath.

    Reply
    • Michelle DeRusha says

      August 12, 2013 at 5:56 pm

      You are so right about that, Dawn – faith requires grace … there’s just no getting around it.

      Reply
  4. Hazel Moon says

    August 12, 2013 at 1:04 am

    I suppose the worship of idols and images and shrines was because the people wanted to be able to see a God and not walk by faith. Your boy is a good thinker and he will work it all out – not to worry.

    Reply
  5. Kris says

    August 12, 2013 at 5:07 am

    This is so good, Michele. It isn’t black and white. It is so much more complicated than it sounds. I think at different times, i struggle with all three. Sometimes, I’m great at loving God with my mind, and others, I feel it deep in my soul, and still others, the decision of the heart is where I’m better at it. I wish I were better at it, and we pray often here, “God help us to LOVE you”.

    Reply
  6. Joanne Viola says

    August 12, 2013 at 6:38 am

    Michelle – A very thought provoking post for certain. Your son raised a good point – although at times, my struggle is the reverse – at times it is hard to love those who have caused hurt. I am learning that love is not an emotion but an act of obedience, of the will. You are right in that it is not black & white. I am so grateful that life is a process through which God changes me. I am grateful this morning that He is patient with me & works with determination in my life. Thank you for sharing this today.
    Have a great week!
    Joanne

    Reply
    • Michelle DeRusha says

      August 12, 2013 at 5:57 pm

      This Joanne, “Love is an act of obedience, of the will.” Yes. I think you are spot-on with that. Thank you for distilling that down so succinctly for me!

      Reply
  7. Lisa notes says

    August 12, 2013 at 9:32 am

    “The longer I walk this path, the more I realize that there’s not a right or wrong way to love God.”
    I so agree with you, Michelle! Loving him with our heart, mind, and soul will look different on each of us.

    The “whole” part is what gets to me. I’m not sure I do anything 100%. I know he already knows that so there’s no point in denying it. Thankful for his grace in allowing me to love as much as I do, and praying for grace to receive his love even more.

    Reply
  8. Shelly Miller says

    August 12, 2013 at 9:41 am

    This felt like an easy question for me. It’s my head that often gets in the way. I over think and analyze way too much. Loved this Michelle.

    Reply
  9. Jillie says

    August 12, 2013 at 10:46 am

    Good food for thought today, Michelle, as always. I think the thing that most trips me up is my mind and my heart. I over-think and analyse things, just as Shelly said. I often make the simplicity of the Word into something complicated and hard to achieve, when it’s really not up to me to change me.
    I also often think of that Scripture that says, “Give me an UNDIVIDED heart, O Lord.” I am so often drawn away by all things sparkly and glittery; the “treasures” of this world, rather than gathering treasure in heaven. I don’t want to be “a material girl”. I think FOCUS has a great deal to do with it. Seeking Him with all my heart, and waiting on Him to provide what’s missing in me.

    Reply
    • Michelle DeRusha says

      August 12, 2013 at 5:59 pm

      Yes, yes, yes, Jillie, “an undivided heart.” It sounds so simple, and it’s so very hard – so much vying for our attentions and energy. Like Lisa said above, it’s the “whole” part of the equation that trips her up, because she doesn’t think she does anything 100%, and I would have to say that’s true for me, too – I always feel pulled in a million directions.

      Reply
  10. Laurie Collett says

    August 12, 2013 at 11:53 am

    He loves us with agape, self-sacrificing love, and on good days I am like Peter, loving him with “phileo” or affection, but lacking His ability for sacrificial agape. Thanks for the great post & for hosting & God bless!

    Reply
  11. Gaby says

    August 12, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    I think it’s also so driven by personalities. Pragmatic people and emotional people experience God in different ways. I watch my husband worship on Sunday morning with his eyes open and his hands by his side while I close mine and raise my hands. To the naked eye it may seem as if I am worshiping more deeply, right? Yet, his faith has been more solid than mine throughout our married life. He lives with the fact of God’s love while I despair when the “feeling” fails me. I think there may be a blog post there too 🙂

    Reply
    • Michelle DeRusha says

      August 12, 2013 at 6:00 pm

      Really, really good example, Gaby. Whenever I am at a Christian conference, I feel a little “less than” because I worship like your husband – very stoic, hands at my side, etc. But yes, it’s so much about personality … and our personality is how He made us, yes?

      Reply
  12. Megan Willome says

    August 12, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    Nope. But that doesn’t discourage me.

    Reply
    • Michelle DeRusha says

      August 12, 2013 at 6:00 pm

      I like your answer, Megan!

      Reply
  13. Sharon says

    August 12, 2013 at 5:38 pm

    A really good post that really got me thinking.

    It is hard to love an intangible, unseeable God. I really appreciated reading Philip Yancey’s book, “Reaching for the Invisible God.” It was his look (and struggle) about the difficulties inherent in a relationship between finite humans who only *see* the real world, and the infinite, eternal God that we love.

    In your question, which is the hardest of the three for me? Probably my mind. I am so thwarted by distractions, sidetracked by worries, consumed by troubles – that I often forget that my intellect must make the choice to love Him, to focus on Him first, above all else. Even when I can’t *see* Him or *feel* Him. Even when it doesn’t make sense.

    GOD BLESS!

    Reply
    • Michelle DeRusha says

      August 12, 2013 at 6:01 pm

      Thanks for the book recommendation, Sharon – sounds like one I should check out (I like Philip Yancey’s work).

      Reply
  14. kendal says

    August 12, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    1. i wish we could hang out
    2. we are just alike
    3. i can’t wait to read your book

    Reply
  15. melissa says

    August 12, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    Having been a Christian since my early 20’s ( 40+ years ago) I have at different times struggled with loving the Lord with all my heart or mind or soul. The easiest times are when I am “feeling” love. The hardest are when I am walking only by faith, as someone said, when it is a daily choice. As another noted, it is always a matter of the grace of God not in anyway the goodness of Melissa. Your writing is wise and thought provoking. Thank you.

    Reply
  16. Jen Ferguson says

    August 13, 2013 at 12:11 pm

    I really like this idea of “heart” meaning more than “emotion.” There have notable times in my life that I didn’t “feel it” but pressed on anyway because I thought God had to be more than just “feeling.” This brings another level of confirmation for me, for sure.

    Reply
  17. Sheila Seiler Lagrand says

    August 15, 2013 at 8:19 am

    Megan said exactly what I was thinking–but in about 1/10th of the words it would have taken me.

    She’s concise like that.

    Thanks, Michelle, for this thoughtful piece, and for hosting!

    Reply

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Living out faith in the everyday is no joke. If you’re anything like me, some days you feel full of confidence and hope, eager to proclaim God’s goodness and love to the world. Other days…not so much.

Let me say straight up: I wrestle with my faith. Most days I feel a little bit like Jacob, wrangling his blessing out of God. And most days I’m okay with that. I believe God made me a questioner and a wrestler for a reason, and I believe one of those reasons is so that I can connect more authentically with others.

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