{#HearItUseIt linkers, scroll down to the next post!}
I’ve been thinking about authenticity for a while now, ever since my friend Sarah leaned over our table at Meadowlark coffee shop and asked me, “What’s your core question, your life question?”
Sarah goes deep. She’s a soulful, thoughtful, deep-thinker. While I’m concerned about whether my earrings are too matchy-matchy with my necklace, Sarah is thinking about core questions.
So of course I had to ask Sarah to clarify — I’m thinking about jewelry, girl, what the heck is a core question?
Your core question, Sarah explained, is the central question that informs many aspects of your life and continues to resurface at different points and in different circumstances, from the professional to the personal realm. It’s the question you come back to, consciously or subconsciously, again and again and again.
I know. Am I right or what? She’s deep.
I couldn’t answer Sarah’s question at first. Or rather, I should say I was unwilling to answer her question. It was too big, too scary, too personal. Why think about my core question when I can distract myself with accessorizing?
But the more I thought about it, I knew. I knew my core question deep in the center of my soul. My core question, my life question, I knew was this: “Am I authentic?”
That question has been sitting heavy like an x-ray apron on my heart for a few weeks now. Last week, as I was running my same-old route, I asked God what I should write about for 31 days straight, and the answer sprang instantly into mind: authenticity.
Of course I argued with him. No thanks, I said, heaving down the running path. I don’t even like to think about authenticity, never mind write about it for a month straight. How about we try something else, shall we?
God didn’t let me off the hook.
I’ll tell you straight up, I’m not entirely sure what living authentically looks like and what it even means. I don’t have any clear answers. And despite the fact that “31 Days to an Authentic You” sounds like I have my act together, like I’m going to offer you a fail-proof plan, that’s not exactly the case. That title might be a teeny bit of a misnomer. More like that’s what I’m hoping for. In fact, I suspect authenticity might be more like life-long goal, rather than a 31-day plan. Still, I’m hoping that by the end of October, you and I might have a clearer understanding of authenticity and what it looks like and feels like to live authentically – as people, as believers, as spouses, parents and professionals.
I’m looking at this process as a 31-day journey, with what I hope will be a few glimmers of light along the way. I’m not offering an guarantees, but I sure am grateful you’re along for the ride.
So tell me, as a way to launch the conversation, what does authenticity look like for you? Do you have a definition of “living authentically” that you might share here?
One little housekeeping detail: The Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday link-up community will still take place here throughout the month of October – those posts will go live on Sundays at 8 p.m. CT. So really, I’ll be doing “27 Days to an Authentic You,” if you want to get technical.
Want to know more about 31 Days? Hop over to The Nester’s Place.
31 Days to an Authentic You
Day 2: Scary and New
Day 3: Dear Klout, I’m No Fool
Day 4: Own the Truth
Day 5: Find Your YOU
Day 6: Be Transparent Anyway
Day 7: Go as You are. Use What You Have.
Day 8: When You’re Afraid to Ask for Help
Day 9: When You Want to Fit In
Day 10: Assumptions Inhibit Authenticity
Day 11: Fake It Till You Make It
Day 12: Be Fully Who You Are
Day 13: Who are You Pretending to Be?
Day 14: Uncovering a Life That Speaks
Day 15: Trusting into Openness
Day 16: When You’re Afraid of Being Unliked
Day 17: Be Content with Who You Are
Day 18: Peel Back a Layer or Two
Day 19: Halfway to Authentically You
Day 20: When You Find Yourself Hustling for Worthiness
Day 21: What Counts?
Day 22: When You Can’t Hear God through the Noise
Day 23: Why I Almost Quit 31 Days
Day 24: What I Learned at Allume (and It Ain’t Pretty)
Day 25: The End
Hi Michelle,
I’m intrigued by, and looking forward to, your 31 days to an Authentic You. (I’m also baffled at what my life question might be!?!)
Because I’m an I-need-to-know-the-definition gal, I looked up authentic to be sure I knew what it meant. So, from that, I think living authentically means I’m me. All the time. Not trying to be or imitate someone else. Am I just me all the time? I’m not sure. And now I’m back to intrigued… 🙂
I think you’ve got the right feel for the definition. But I’m with you on the answer. I don’t know if I’m authentic all the time…but I suspect not…which is the reason I am blindly embarking on this journey!
Authenticity, to me, means something/someone is presented “as is”. That the imperfections are there to see right along with the loveliness. That’s beautiful to behold, but so challenging to live out personally. We all want to present the best version of ourselves (what we think others want to see).
You’ve given me something to ponder, Michelle. I’m looking forward to more!
I love your definition, Anna – the imperfections presented along with the loveliness.
Oh what a great challenge.To be authentic is very hard because with that comes all kinds of responsibility and convictions. Yes you have given me ‘something new to think about’.
You are so right, Sharon. I am just beginning to brush the tip of the iceberg on the responsibilities/convictions part of the equation. This question opens up a whole can of worms, as they saying goes. But I’m hoping we can sort through some of the worms and come up with a bit of truth and understanding as well.
Authentic: real, original, genuine, true. It’s a really interesting word, because I think people generally think that if we are authentic, then we’ve arrived–we’re true to ourselves. We live our best lives. We are not trying to put on a mask. I think it has a really positive connotation. And yet, as I write the word, I realize that if I am being genuine, then I am going to let you see everything: the good, the bad, the ugly. Am I brave enought to do that?
I really look forward to thirty-one days of your and others’ insights on this, Michelle. It’s a brave topic!
Anticipatingly,
Lynn
Love that signature, Lynn – “Anticipatingly…” I’m anticipating, too – not quite sure what to expect on this one (but so grateful to have you alone for the ride!}
Sorry – that’s supposed to be “along.” It’s getting late!
Hi Michelle,
Happy 31 Days! Looking forward to exploring authenticity with you. As for me, I’m still digging out from under the molding and shaping of the world/family/church (and so on) to see if the real me, the authentic me is still in there. I hope to discover a few new tools to help me dig – maybe you have a few here I can work with? 😀
God Bless.
~ Cassandra from Renaissance Women
So grateful to have you along on the journey, Cassandra. I do hope we can discover some things together. Not sure about the tools, as I will literally be writing and exploring this topic one day at a time. But I am a concrete, structured tools-kind-of-girl, so I think that might be part of the plan!
when i think of an authentic person, i think of someone who is unapologetically different from cookie cutter people. and enjoy your writing! i get a little stomach ache when i think of blogging thirty-one days straight.
Yeah, stomach ache here. Not sure what this will look like. But very grateful to see your smiling face here tonight, Kendal.
I personally think it’s a challenge to live authentically for 31 days straight…I believe that I make an effort, I am known to be pretty straight forward. But I also believe that there are those situations in life that pull me off the wagon. I am intriqued here as well and look forward to reading along. This could keep me more faithful than I’ve been of late to logging on (to the internet in general, not just your blog). And I’ll forgive you for the 27 days as I live for “hear it on Sunday, use it on Monday!
Thanks, DeEtte – I am so happy to see you here and grateful to have you along for the journey!
That was quite a question Michelle. I’m still scratching my head – trying to figure out my core question. It’s the kind that makes me run around in mental circles searching in vain for a true answer. I’m so interested to read your thoughts on this. It’s something I struggle with too – especially in this internetty world!
I know, I know, Linda – my friend Sarah – I tell you, she’s a deep thinker. I had to think about her question to me for a good long time before I was sure it was authenticity. And I think perhaps we can have more than one core question, perhaps in different season in our lives. I don’t know. Maybe Sarah should be leading this discussion! 🙂
Such an awesome question! My immediate response is ‘authenticity = what you see is what you get’, but that’s not quite right. Being authentic is living out your values and beliefs, they key is discovering what they are, finding the answer to ‘what is your core question?’ Authenticity is living the conviction of what you know to be real and true, both inwardly and outwardly, and finding peace and contentment in that knowledge. At least, that’s what I understand of authenticity now. That could change, life is an ongoing learning process 🙂 Alison
Authentic means who you are on the inside matches who you are on the outside, that who you are at home matches who you are in public. No big surprises as far as moral choices and belief systems, no contradictions with regard to what you say you believe and how you act. Being authentic involves being consistently who you are and not compromising that just to get other’s approval. Authenticity involves always seeking for God’s approval rather than man’s.
What a great 31 Days! I’m looking forward to this… what a great friend you have in Sarah. Just guessing, but she seems like an example of being authentic– asking you a deep question, revealing what’s really on her mind, in her heart. I think authenticity involves being who we really are– identifying Christ’s identity for us, and embracing that– while acknowledging that we frequently fail at that very thing. Happy 31!
I think you’re one of the most authentic people I know, its what I love about you. Anxious to see where this takes you. And I’m writing about authenticity on my post tonight. It’s the first thing Brene Brown talks about in her book. I’ll be checking in here for some inspiration this month.
I LOVED this post Michelle! I am in awe of your planning ways. I try to be as thorough a planner as you (I have somewhat of a post schedule for this 31 Days series), but it never seems to come together like I want. (I’m so grateful my husband is a better planner than me! 🙂 Your honesty and transparency in this post make me feel like I’m not the only one. I usually wane on about how ‘inauthentic’ people drive me crazy, but yet I struggle with exactly the same things everyone else does – isn’t that always the way? We find community in our honesty and our real lives. Definitely will be reading along with your journey daily. I’m writing ’31 Days of Favorites’ b/c I couldn’t decide on just one topic. (I also want to be able to reserve time to do more in depth writing on my own, and not be so stressed about these posts.)
But if you freak out around day 10 or 11,
I’m here for you friend! 🙂
Looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks!
Wow, you’re right, that is a deep question. I look forward to this series and the questions I’ll have to ask myself while I follow you along on this journey. Good stuff. Now I have to go think about MY core question!
I always feel someone is authentic when they seem the same in all circumstances. ie. if they are with rich people or poor people …. they are still kind. If they are famous or not famous … they still act the same. Poorly worded, but it works for me.
Fondly,
Glenda
I like what Sarah says about having a core question. One thing I’ve noticed is that it took decades for my core question to solidify into something on which I could act. For so many years — while I was growing up and going to college and dating and getting married and giving birth and raising kids and getting them off into the world — it was all I could do to keep my head above water. Now, however, I am in a season of life where I can pay attention to the question that was taking shape in me for all these years.
Hello Michelle,
Let me first say that I’m so glad I decided to participate in 31 Days 2013 because it’s introduced me to so many new bloggers. Now onto business. Authentic, these are deep waters indeed. My core question is, will my life matter forever? The short term holds very little interest for me, but I want to know my life’s influence extends into eternity. So years ago I decided to invest in the two things that the Bible says are eternal: the word of God and the souls of men (and by men I mean mankind, all people). We can spend our lives acquiring or inspiring. We can indulge or influence. I gave my life to Christ at 17, a young mother already with not a clue about anything. God stepped in and brought wonderful mentors and teachers, but most important of all He gave me the indwelling Holy Spirit and His inspired word. Am I authentic? I don’t know. But I like George Whitefield’s choice for his own epitaph, “Here lies G.W. Let that great and final day determine what manner of man he was”.
Looking forward to following you as you investigate Authentic throughout October.
A core question? Goodness, now I won’t be able to stop thinking about that.
I think it might be something like, “Will what I’m doing right now matter in eternity? How will I be remembered? Is it possible for me to write words that will be timeless?”
These are in fact wonderful ideas inn regarding blogging.
You have touched some good factors here. Any way keep up wrinting.
I’m extremely impressed with your writing skills as
well as with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or
did you customize it yourself? Either waay keep up the excellent quality writing,
iit is rare to see a nice blog like this one nowadays.
Good sleep is vital for rejuvenating the body and mind, so that they continue with the weight loss is
often made up of empty calories, lacking in any nutrition.
However, it should be combined with healthy eating habits. Granted
there are foods for weight loss purpose. Dancing is a
rejoicing mode to take exercise whilst having romping and socialising at the same time.
It’s a pity you don’t have a doate button! I’d definitely donate to
this excellent blog! I suppose for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account.
I look forward to new updates and will talk about this sikte wigh my
Facebook group. Chat soon!