The day my sister-in-law’s father died, she pulled into the driveway of her parents’ home wrung dry with grief and witnessed a full rainbow arched right over the roof of the house. It was, she told me later, a sign from God, a sign of hope, peace and comfort in the midst of sadness and dispair.
Just a few weeks later, as my mother-in-law lay dying in a hospital bed in her family room, I looked for a rainbow, too. I looked every day, scanning the cloudless Nebraska horizon for signs of rain. I wanted that rainbow so badly. I wanted a sign from God that he was near, that he hadn’t abandoned us in our grief.
One late afternoon I watched as clouds gathered and the rain came pouring down onto the hot concrete. It was a sun shower; the conditions were ripe for a rainbow. I leapt up from my office desk, ran down four flights of stairs and out the back door and stood in the parking lot in the rain. I walked around the whole perimeter of the building, scanning the sky from every angle.
There was no rainbow that day or any other. And quite frankly, I was mad about that. Would it be so hard? I remember griping to God. Would it be so much skin off your nose to give me a little sign, a little peace, a little reassurance here, please?
I remembered those hard weeks and the days I searched for a rainbow when I read the lesson for this week. At first Jesus’ response to the Roman official who approaches him with the request to heal his child seems abrupt, even harsh.
“Will you never believe in me unless you see miraculous signs and wonders?” Jesus asks the Roman official. The man’s son is dying, and Jesus seems to be giving him a hard time.
The Roman official persists, asking Jesus a second time to heal his dying son, and Jesus responds by telling the man that his son will live.
The difference between the Roman official and me is that the Roman official takes Jesus at his word. He believes what Jesus says is true, without proof and without any concrete assurance. Jesus doesn’t accompany the man home to heal his child in person. He simply gives the man his word, and the man believes him. I, on the other hand, wanted the sign, the proof that God was present in the midst of my pain.
I don’t have anything against signs from God. I believe in them, and I believe that sometimes God does send us special messages this way. But the more important lesson here, I think, is the understanding that we don’t need a special sign from God, because we always have his promise in his word. This is what the Roman official knew, and what I so often forget.
“I am with you always, even to the end of the age,” Jesus tells us. I don’t need a rainbow to know God is with me when I walk through the valley of fear and grief. I don’t need a sign or proof that he cares. He’s already told me; it’s right there in the Bible, in black and white. That promise is all the proof and assurance I will ever need.
Questions for Reflection:
Do you ever look for signs from God? Do you ever wish He would offer you proof, once and for all, that He is with you?
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Dear Michele
The greatest Sign or proof, dearest friend, is the Living Lord Jesus in you! We experience Him daily as He walks with us in that great, mystery of Him in us, and us in Him. I have found that the times that I have grown the closest to Him, was those times when everything around me was falling apart. I am so sorry for your loss.
Blessings to you XX
Mia
I think evangelical Christianity has led us to believe that signs from God are two a penny. We expect them. And then we feel cheated when they don’t come when we feel we need them to give us that confidence of faith. I’m learning more and more that signs are great and do happen along our Christian journey but perhaps the more formative times are those when we just have to stay strong in our faith. To steadfastly trust that God is there, present in our pain giving us the strength we need. Thanks for sharing so honestly, Michelle, I always love reading your words.
Blessings,
Mel from Essential Thing Devotions
I have to smile that here you are writing about rainbows, and that is the one image I was searching and searching for on Friday for my post. It seems that I “need” that sort of comforting image – a sign – at times, too. And yes, I also struggle with looking for the obvious sign now and then. Thank you for the reminder that I’ve got it, always.
Wow. This was challenging to me. I’d so like to imagine myself as a trusting daughter that needs nothing more than her Father’s word to feel safe and be moved… but that’s not the case. I already have His Words, but I stubbornly refuse to move until I hear something else, see something else. How selfish! How narrow! Thank you for pointing me back towards the faithful, never-changing God.
MIchelle, it seems to me that signs like rainbows appear when we *aren’t* looking for them. What I have been doing, however, during this year of “Aware,” has been trying to notice the evidence of God’s presence or working in each of my days, and noting down anything I do notice by the end of the day. At first nothing seemed evident, but gradually, little clues to His presence came more and more frequently, sometimes in very small things, or just a calmness of spirit He gave in a tense situation, or something like that. His comfort and guidance comes in many forms. May He bring you a special measure of comfort today!
God has spoken to me in so many ways. He speaks His love to me thru His word, thru the words of friends and family, thru the beauty of His creation, thru sweet smiles and kisses of children and grandchildren…and yes, sometimes thru totally unexpected miracles.
Are these signs? I don’t know…I don’t really think of them as signs…more as a conversation or correspondence sprinkled with love notes.
And, yes, ultimately His love begins with His atonement, redemption and deliverance for me…and all the little love messages lead back to this truth…that He loves me…simply because I am His….because He redeemed me and called me by name…I am His.
I walk in His grace by His grace…and he is gracious enough to frequently remind me of His love for me…
I’m not sure. The only sure sign to me is the word of God. However, I’m reading Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby and it says the worst rebuke God gives us is to let us feel the consequences of disobeying Him. I get that!
Walking in the prcnesee of giants here. Cool thinking all around!
Salvaged from the Dustbin Here’s a few general blog links that might be of interest – the weekly Britblog Roundup, hosted this week by Mr Eugenides, and the biweekly Euroblog Roundup, hosted by Siberian Light.
I’ve been in a season of asking for signs. They never seem to appear and I’m left feeling like my faith is being tested a little. And then the more the signs don’t come, the more I look for them, and the more rotten I feel. Maybe I need to change my focus? I needed your words today, Michelle.
That was beautiful! Simple but hard truth! Thanks
Cindy
We ask for signs because it shows that we are not alone in our mess. I have prayed for a couple of years for two people very close to me and while one situation is a little better, the second never changes. I would just like a sign that things can be solved through faith. But I realize that testing your own faith is believing less than you should. We should not be worried or anxious, because sign or not He is here. That hand is lightly on your back – He doesn’t show you everything but He is surely there. Where would you be without Him, anyway?
“Would it be so much skin off your nose to give me a little sign, a little peace, a little reassurance here, please?:
This made me laugh out loud, Michelle. I love your relationship with God. It’s real. I believe he understands our need for signs and more faith in his promises. And that he smiles, too, when we talk to him like this. Sometimes he indulges us with signs; sometimes, not. Either way, we can grow in faith. He knows.
There have been those seasons in which I sought for signs of this or that. Sometimes I found them; other times, I didn’t. But I need only look around me to know that God is, indeed, with me. His hand-prints are everywhere.
Hi Michelle,
You have me smiling away here at my computer. I remember feeling a wonderful hug when my Dad died. But I didn’t know Jesus yet – I just knew my Dad was somewhere special. I see that now as a first sign of God to show me the way back to Him. I believe in signs but I don’t “look for” them but I do “watch for” them. If we don’t keep our eyes open we may miss the sign that He wants us to see. I do believe He knows that you don’t need signs to know that He loves you – that your faith is strong enough.
Thanks for a great post and the opportunity to link.
Blessings to you,
Janis http://www.janiscox.com
I’m in a Matthew study now, and we been looking at how the Philistines and Sadducees kept asking for a sign from Jesus, like he was Jesus On Demand. I too have been guilty — for example, I’ll be anxious and ask for Him to relieve it quickly — but what I have found is that if I stay faithful, trusting in Him, and persevere, He always, always rescues me — every time.
In grief and loss, I think this is harder — we need HIM so in times like that — and we search for HIM everywhere. I understand you here.
In fact, I always get you.
Note: I have been so remiss in reading my favorite blogs — yours is one of them. I don’t know where I’ve been, but I think I’m gonna be better from now on, but don’t hold me to it. Hugs.
This made me think. I love how faith leaves us believing in things not seen and only known by trusting God. I look for signs too and often feel a bit lost. I lose my way easily and often feel my faith is very small. I will say this, in looking for the things that point to God, I search more. I lean in more. Maybe not so much for signs but for the assuredness that He is near.
As I drove home from class on the day my father died, I felt His presence on the West Side Highway. It wasn’t a rainbow so much as I felt the glory of The Lord shining on me. It did give peace. I don’t know how I would have handled his passing without it. It would have been different for sure but I know there would have been other comforts. He is always with us. Even when we don’t feel it. I BELEIVE that whole-heartedly.
I don’t think there is a one of us who doesn’t wish or want a sign from God, especially in moments of trial and tribulation. But, as you illustrated here with the Roman centurion, we must ever remember to simply take Jesus at His word and trust that we are in His care always.
Blessings, Michelle!
Yes, I’ve been guilty of looking for signs – and sometimes I long for the unmistakable proof that He’s there. It sounds rather simple to say that faith wouldn’t be faith if we had irrefutable proof. But I’d still like to have it sometimes. 🙂
After my father’s passing, I have to admit that my family (and me personally) have been *gifted* with some God winks – moments that feel like the Lord reached out to tap us on the shoulder and say, “I’m here.” I’m grateful for them. But, sometimes when we need those moments, they don’t necessarily come.
My two conclusions about that: First, sometimes a *sign* can appear not because it was necessarily sent by God Himself, but because we’re looking for Him so much. And that, I think, is a good thing. And, secondly, immediate signs or not, there can be no surer sign that He is there than the cross and empty tomb.
(But honestly, I’d still love a handshake…LOL!)
GOD BLESS!
Michelle, we had a conversation similar to this one on Monday night at our small group. We are going through a 3-week Andy Stanley study called “When God,” and he mentioned the story of John the Baptist who ended up in jail wondering if Jesus was even the Messiah. Sometimes, He is seemingly silent, but looking back, I can always see how He revealed Himself as I continue to lean in even if I don’t get the sign I so desperately want.