So in case you missed it, yesterday Facebook exploded in celebratory glee over the introduction of its new emoticons, otherwise known as “Reactions,” according to Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg. No longer do we need to feel limited by the lowly “Like” button; we now have a heart Love button, a haha Laughter button, a yay Happy button {by the way, the Yay button is only available in Spain and Ireland right now…because apparently the Spanish and Irish are a lot Yayier than the rest of us}, a surprised Wow button, a frowny Sad button and a beady-eyed Angry button.
Ever the late adopter, I posted my own reaction to the Reactions on my Facebook page:
“Am I the only one who doesn’t love the new Facebook emoticons? I have 58 toothpastes to choose from, 148 kinds of deodorant, 9,000 kinds of cereal, 14,000 television stations, and now I have 6 Facebook faces, too. It’s too much! My brain is melting! Choice overload! How about we just go back to “Like” or move on? My head is going to pop off the first time someone gives me the angry face on a status update (go ahead, try it – who is going to be the first?!) #curmudgeonly (where’s the face for that, eh?)”
Plus, there’s the fact that I know myself. I already take note of the “Likes” on my posts (oh come on, get over it, you know you do, too). I can see how this is all going to go down…
“Huh. Only four Loves. Why only four Loves? Why 47 Likes but only four Loves? Why am I worthy of Like but not Love?! For the love, where is the LOVE?!”
Or… “Hey, she gave me the Angry Beady Eyes. What did I ever do to her? What did I do to deserve the Angry Beady Eyes? Yeah? Yeah? Fine. Angry Beady Eye right back at you, babe.”
I mean seriously, I’m already a navel gazer. These six new emoticons are only going to plunge me into a whole new level of navel-gazing, and it ain’t gonna be pretty.
I was mostly joking last night when I posted that status update about the new emoticons, until later, that is, when suddenly I wasn’t.
You see, I got to thinking about when I was in college. I wrote in long-hand (what, pray tell, is long hand?) to my nana and to my nana’s sister, my great aunt Mary, at least once a month – on my very own monogrammed stationery, no less. And I received letters from them in return. I still remember crouching down to open the tiny metal door of my dorm post office box and spotting the telltale dusty pink envelope, knowing my grandmother’s notepaper, with a rosebud at the top, just above the delicate script, From the Desk of Elizabeth DeRusha, was folded inside. I didn’t keep any of those letters (I got the Anti-Sentimental Gene from my dad), but I still remember how much I cherished receiving them at the time.
Now, I may sound like I am 1,009 years old for saying this, but for heaven’s sake, what have we come to with these Facebook emoticons? Your coworker posts a sentimental note on Facebook about the death of her grandfather, and you click Frowny Sad Face and move on. Your sister posts a selfie of her new haircut, you click the heart. Finito. Your BFF posts about her terrible, awful, no good, very bad day, and you click Beady Angry Eyes to signify “Grrrrr, those are the worst.” Or do you click Frowny Sad Face to demonstrate empathy? Or do you click both for good measure?
Click. Done. Scroll on. Click. Done. Scroll on.
Facebook’s new “Reactions” simply give us another excuse and another way to skate through life on vapid autopilot. They let us off the hook by allowing us to pretend we are expressing heartfelt emotion – joy, sorrow, empathy, compassion, anger– when in fact, all we’re really doing is taking the easy way out. We’re not connecting, were clicking. And clicking. And clicking. And clicking.
Here’s what Mark Zuckerberg had to say about the Reactions launch on his own Facebook timeline yesterday (by the way, did you know that Mark Zuckerberg has 52,254,708 followers? For reals. It’s practically a ticker tape!) :
“Not every moment you want to share is happy. Sometimes you want to share something sad or frustrating. Our community has been asking for a dislike button for years, but not because people want to tell friends they don’t like their posts [ahem, clearly Mark hasn’t visited the Christian Facebook community lately]. People wanted to express empathy and make it comfortable to share a wider range of emotion. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the right way to do this with our team. One of my goals was to make it as simple as pressing and holding the Like button. The result is Reactions, which allow you to express love, laughter, surprise, sadness or anger.”
I hear what you’re saying, Mark, I really do. People do want to express a broader range of emotions beyond the bland, pallid “Like.” People do want to express joy, sorrow, disappointment, empathy, compassion and anger, in real life and on Facebook. People do want to react. But there is an effective, meaningful way to do this, and it doesn’t entail simply “pressing and holding” a button.
It’s called using our words. Our powerful, eloquent, insightful, angry, sorrowful, poignant, beautiful, celebratory, life-giving words.
Words are still important, even in this Brave New World of emoticons and Reactions – especially in this Brave New World of emoticons and Reactions. In spite of what Mark Zuckerberg says about “making it comfortable” to share emotion, the truth is, sometimes emotion is uncomfortable. Grief is uncomfortable. Anger is uncomfortable. Sorrow and loneliness are uncomfortable. What we need is to learn how to sit with and in this discomfort. Words, though not always perfect, allow us to do that in a way that robotically clicking a cartoony “Reaction” never will.
Words have the power to move us to tears. Words have the power to make the hair on our arms and the back of our necks stand on end. Words have the power to make us dance, shout, curse, and cheer. Words have the power to start a movement. Words have the power to change us. Words have the power to change the world.
Words give us life and breath and love. Words are Life and Breath and Love.
God gave us words because they have the power to connect us — to help us see and hear, to know and understand one another. Words, plain and simple, are a gift.
So maybe the next time we go to click one of those emoticon faces, we can take a second to pause and remember that. Let’s remember that words are a gift we can give and receive…even on Facebook, even in this Brave New World.
{and yeah, when I post this on Facebook, you all better give me a whole lot of those hearts}
<3 <3 <3 ;). Is it ok if I like the new reactions as long as I still always comment, too 🙂 ? My one thought on the whole 'reactions' thing is, where's the confused-about-why-you-posted-this-inappropriate-material' emoticon. I've really wanted to express that reaciton before! Although, come to think of it, if one of my friends or family members posts something that I think is hurtful to them or someone else or just plain inappropriate, I actually message them or talk to them in person and let them know how I feel and how others might react to what they posted. Does this make me nosy or a bad person? I hope not. Sometimes, people don't think before they post, and potential employers actually look at Facebook pages.
I think messaging someone privately is the perfect response, Anita. That way the two of you can have an honest, private conversation without the whole world looking on and/or entering the fray themselves. The few times I’ve posted controversial content on my blog, I’ve really appreciated the people who took time to talk to me privately about it.
Funny you should post this today, Michelle. My girlfriend & I were just discussing FB and the phenomenon it is in this hip & progressive world in which we live.
She doesn’t get it.
Neither do I.
We think we might start a whole new phenomenal movement! Something online for “All the Peeps out there who AREN’T on FB and don’t EVER wish to be!” 🙂 I think we’ve hit on something BIG! Dinosaurs like us, those who STILL send “longhand” notes & letters, need a voice too, am I right?
Love you, Michelle.
Dinosaurs Unite! 🙂 Love you, too, Jillie! We are two birds of a feather…
I simply adore you! Love your heart!!
Right back at you, girl!
A friend of ours passed away this week. She was 50 & had been battling cancer for 6 years. The outpouring of words (not emoticons) was moving, appropriate & necessary as her community from around the world gathered via the internet to speak words of comfort, love & loss to each other but more importantly to her husband & three children. It was beautiful to read the words. This is the beautiful side of social media.
Exactly, Heather. A very good story to illustrate the point. And I am very sorry to hear about the untimely loss of your friend – that is way too young.
I agree, Michelle, that these new emoticons or reactions can never, ever substitute for the written word. I’m a huge believer in leaving comments if I like someone’s post or feel they need encouragement/love/empathy. As authors, we both can identify with the power of the written word and its ability to change lives and hearts. Thank you for expressing your thoughts here with wit and humor as always!
Blessings!
I try to do that, too, Martha. I know clicking “like” is a quick way of saying, “I hear you; I’m with you.” But it literally takes seconds to type those words, which to me is a much more meaningful way to send the message.
I shared your post on facebook & got some good responses. Check out Lorilee Reimer Craker. She loved it & shared.
Words are the most important – absolutely. I tried an experiment a few months back where instead of clicking “Like” I would comment instead, because the clicks and comments change the FB algorithm feed and I was curious. Words are more helpful, more direct, more personal.
But it’s not all bad (it seldom is!). FB has allowed me to restore lost contacts, to keep in touch with far flung friends, and to make surprising new connections.
Let’s remember words almost always mean more than likes or other indications of empathy, and that from afar, words can feel like hugs. If you don’t like the emoticons, use words – but use this power for good!
Maybe it was you, Kelly, that I saw doing the comment-only practice. I read about someone doing that, and after reading about it, I decided to try it, too. I found not only was it probably nicer for the person to read a comment, as opposed to counting the likes, but it strangely made me feel happier and more connected too.
Preach it, sister, with as many words as you want! Words are such a gift (and wield power: The pen is mightier than the sword). And I would go a step further to say that the diminution of our vocabularies diminishes our depth and nuance of expression. Why must everything be dumbed down? Surely media such as FB contributes to the brevity and depth of thought. I “do” FB now (though I fought it for years) as a way to connect online w/ other authors and to establish some kind of presence as I begin to write professionally again. That was the genesis. A further benefit is that I have reconnected with long-lost family members hither and yon. But I’m with you, Michelle. I love the written word, and do my best still to communicate more extensively via handwritten cards, typewritten letters (I’m arthritic), the occasional blogpost, and the longer blog comment or FB response. And I guess nothing beats in-person communication. And as for FB’s new emoticons? They are sooo ugly. W/ their bucks they could have hired a better graphic artist. I think I’m going to design a raspberries emoticon for them, complete with sound effects!
Love you, as always!
Lynn
The WOW one reminds me of The Scream by Edvard Munch! Brother!
I saw the “reactions” yesterday and reacted the way I find myself doing a lot to social media lately. I rolled my eyes and determined not to use them. The whole of social media and “platform” is exhausting me. While I love the fact that we can stay “connected” I miss the days when we had to work at it. When you knew someone genuinally liked you because they took an hour out of their day and sat across from you, instead of just pushed a button and checked you off their list. I think we’re growing so accustomed to observing other lives from behind a screen, we’re forgetting how to engage in real life. Even more, we’re growing scared to because what if people don’t “like” us??!! Ugh…exhausting. Where’s the face for that?!
Can I just say, ❣❗️
Rene
This to me it is child’s play. No thought behind it, just push the button and move on. Thanks for your opinion, Michelle!