My last official blog post here was June 7 – a little more than three months ago (I admit, I cheated a bit on my hiatus and posted the pieces I wrote for the Journal Star in June, July and August). It was a good and necessary break – even more necessary than I initially anticipated, as it turns out, because…
…I am writing another book…two, in fact! This past spring I signed a two-book contract with Baker Books — one for non-fiction and the second for an “Undetermined” Biography/History. I admit, before I signed my name, it made my heart nearly cease beating to realize I was committing to write my fourth and fifth books. Somehow embarking on books four and five makes the whole business of being an author feel very real. I think because my first three books weren’t knock-it-out-of-the-park best-sellers I didn’t really consider myself a legit author, which I realize is the most ridiculous thing ever, but there you go…sometimes we are our own worst enemies.
Suffice to say, I slogged through a few thousand words or so of book one this summer, and let me say, for the record, it was a S.L.O.G. I am super excited about this book. It’s something I have been thinking about and living into for at least the last two years (and I see hints of it in my journals even longer than that). This is a book of my heart. BUT…that doesn’t mean it’s always going to come easily.
Which leads me to my next point. A few nights ago I told a friend, “I failed at summer.” When she asked me what exactly I meant by that, I explained that for most of the summer, rather than accepting the different rhythms and routines (or lack thereof) of the season, I pushed hard against what I saw as summer’s limitations. I tried to force the season to be something else, something it wasn’t meant to be. For the entire eleven weeks of summer, I never stopped trying to force it. It was, in a word, exhausting.
While I knew going into it that a new part-time job and two teen/pre-teen boys and a husband home for the summer would seriously limit my capacity for the deep, creative work of book-writing, in the end, I refused to go with the flow of the season and embrace its freedom and gifts. Instead, I pushed, pushed, pushed against it with all my might. As a result, I was not only hugely unproductive, I was also constantly frustrated, resentful, and generally a giant pill to be around. I was like the Peanuts character Pig Pen, except instead of a cloud of dirt hovering around me, I emanated doomsday despair and negativity with a heaping side of grouchiness.
The funny thing is, when I finally did sit down to write actual words on the page after the boys returned to school and my husband returned to his classroom in mid-August, I found I was ready. I may not have produced much in terms of word count over the summer (which was extraordinarily frustrating at the time), but it turns out, I was still very much working on the book that whole time.
I was reading. Taking notes. Jotting down relevant quotes. Journaling. Staring into the middle distance. Ideas were percolating and gestating. By the time I sat at my desk and put my fingers to the keyboard, the book (or at least a big chunk of it) was ready to be written. Those three months of seemingly little concrete productivity had actually been an important part of the creative process. I just hadn’t recognized it as such because the outcomes were not immediately apparent or tangible.
This summer I learned the hard way about the importance of trusting and valuing the season I am in. Ecclesiastes said it best, right? “To every thing there is a season. And a time to every purpose under heaven.”
This summer was my season to tend – to nurture the scattered seeds, to water and fertilize them, to wait patiently, biding my time while the first tender seedlings rooted and sprouted. This summer was a gestational season – an important, dare I say absolutely critical time in the process of writing a book. I just wish I had recognized the necessity and value of this season and embraced the beauty and gift of it, rather than pushing it to be something else.
Trusting every season doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m great with the harvest, with seasons of obvious fruitfulness and productivity. But I’m learning that the slower seasons, the periods in which we step back, surrender, and quietly let things be, are necessary and important too. Slowly, largely through great trial and error, I am learning that there is indeed a season for every activity under the heavens. Even, or perhaps especially, when the activity of that season doesn’t look like you expect it to. Even when it’s an activity that does not produce immediately apparent results.
First, yes! You are an author–and an excellent (and most versatile one). Two, congratulations!!! That is so incredible to have signed a contract for two more books (and I suspect that the biography will become a book of your heart, too, but just in another way–but I know what you mean). Three, before I read the word “gestation” here, I said to myself: She is in a period of gestation. It’s that deep, unseen, underground work that is necessary for a bountiful harvest. Four, thanks to your waiting and working through the seasons, my own harvest will be richer (as that of so many others) as I eat the fruit of your labor and take nourishment. Remember the book devourers, Michelle, when the next season of writing gets hard. We’re worth it! 🙂
Love you, and will be cheering and praying for you (you and your books will need that too).
Lynn
I absolutely love your enthusiasm, Lynn – thanks for always being in my corner. xo
I needed this today. Thank you.
I am glad it resonated with you, Gretchen. xo
Thank you. I too am in the midst of something, I know not what yet. I needed to hear your words.
Peace be with you in the waiting time, friend.
First, congratulations! So happy for you and looking forward to your next two books.
Second, what you’re sharing is so important, especially this part: “I was reading. Taking notes. Jotting down relevant quotes. Journaling. Staring into the middle distance. Ideas were percolating and gestating.” — This is part of writing, especially for a big project. This morning I did some of that kind of writing while I was in the pool. I came home, jotted down notes, and am finding a much more productive writing morning from that time spent staring into the (watery) middle distance.
Exercise is SO good for the creative process – remember when John Medina talked about that at Laity? I have recently started running without a podcast in my ears again, and I admit, while it makes running hard, it IS fruitful for the writing process.
I also am ready for these books to be born! Everyone needs some down time to just BE. Blessings on your work that we can’t wait to hold in our hands.
Thank you, Gramma T – I am waiting for the books to be born too — too bad I have to do the laboring! 😉
So thrilled to know you have two books in the works, Michelle!!! Yes, there are definitely different seasons in our lives, and if we buck up too wildly against the current, we found ourselves frustrated and floundering instead of being the one thing we want to be: Productive.
I’m resting from my blog for the time being. Not yet sure when I’ll get back to it, though I sorely miss it. I’m taking this time to reread my novels and see if God is leading me to another series. We’ll see!
Love and blessings to you!
Praying for discernment in your writing life, Martha – and thank you, as always, for the encouragement!
I work up thinking about seasons
I’m writing again this week for the first time in a very long time and it’s not hard! The words have been written in the months of moments I’ve already lived and I’m simply bearing witness to my own heart.
I love this Michelle, thank you! Did you see Charity’s piece this morning? It’s was right before yours in my feed. http://www.frankfortwriterscenter.com/2017/09/stop-writing-and-start-writing-again/
I am going to read Charity’s piece right now – thanks for the head’s up, Marcy. And I’m glad you had a similiar experience when you sat down to write after your hiatus, too – isn’t it a lovely and welcome surprise when writing actually comes easily?
It is ok to take a small break, with my husband retired now it is very different for me to go ‘hide’ in my room to write so I have had to adapt. We go to the beach every Thursday and I take my laptop with me and use that window of time to work on my blog.
Writing at the beach sounds pretty dreamy, Sharon – I’m glad you have the beautiful window of time in which to blog!
I’ve been fighting against the season I’m in too. Thank you for putting words to what has been swirling around inside me.
Excited to hear more about your book writing adventures!
I wondered … So glad for the contract. And for the seasons, even the hard one. And I have to wonder – if it hadn’t been so hard, would it have been as productive? I believe God is at work in our discontent, too. (Even when it’s tough on families! It’s part of the process.)
Good lesson here in your reflections! Congrats on the books. I can’t wait! I too have taken the time to enjoy summer this year, sitting on my backyard deck more times than I can count. breathing in summer.
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