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Michelle DeRusha

Every Day Faith. Faith Every Day.

June 19, 2018 By Michelle 5 Comments

When You Need a Wake-Up Call to Remember Who You Truly Are

A few weeks ago, as we were throttling headlong toward the last day of school, I called one morning to have my oldest dismissed from class for an orthodontist’s appointment. I spoke to the school’s receptionist, letting her know that I would pick Noah up at 11:30 and bring him back shortly after lunch.

A couple of hours later my cell phone rang while I was out running. When I saw it was the school, I quickly paused the podcast I’d been listening to and answered the call.

“Hi, Ms. DeRusha,” the school receptionist said. “You called earlier to have Noah dismissed this afternoon, but it seems we don’t have a record of a Noah Johnson at this school. According to our files, Noah finished up middle school two years ago and is now a sophomore at the high school.”

I stood dumbstruck on the running path, my brain frantically trying to catch up to what I was hearing in my ear. Finally the pieces clicked into place. I had called the middle school rather than the high school to dismiss Noah for his orthodontist’s appointment. I’d called to have my son dismissed from a school he hadn’t attended in two years.

The receptionist on the line was quiet as I stammered out an explanation, a response undoubtedly made even more disturbing by the fact that, because she’d caught me mid-run, I was wheezing great, laborious gasps into the phone between sentences.

She gently asked if I needed her to call the high school to have Noah dismissed, an offer I did my best, between gasps, to gracefully decline. I’m sure I sounded like nothing less than an unhinged lunatic.

This, friends, is what distraction looks like. This is what happens when your brain synapses are firing in 146 different directions. This is what happens when you don’t allow yourself time to take a breath, but instead hurtle onward in overdrive, to-do list in hand, myriad balls in the air, bent on accomplishing every last thing.

The truth is, hustle-produce-achieve is my default, and it’s frightfully easy for me to slip mindlessly into that mode. Add a couple of important deadlines and an increased workload to the busy end-of-the-year school schedule, and presto, I’m hustling morning, noon and night.

The problem is, while we might be able to handle 24/7 hustle for a little while – maybe a few weeks, or even a few months – we can’t continue to burn the candle at both ends indefinitely. Because here’s the truth about the hustle-produce-achieve existence: it doesn’t just result in a frazzled mind; in my experience, it also results in a fractured soul.

When we’re deep in hustle-produce-achieve mode, we’re more apt to lose sight of our true self – the person created by and beloved by God. Rather than resting in the knowledge of who we are at the center of our heart, mind and soul, we find ourselves scrambling to define and identify ourselves by what we do.

Honestly, I’ve spent most of my life defining myself by what I’ve produced or achieved. It’s only more recently that I’ve begun to understand that who I truly am is not defined by all the things I do.

On one hand, my phone call to the wrong school was just a silly, albeit mortifying, mistake. On the other hand, though, it was a red flag, a literal wake-up call right there in the middle of the running path —  a reminder to take a breath, dial back the hustle and the need to achieve and perform, and remember who I am – known, seen and, above all, beloved.

Learning to Listen to Your Soul: 5 Tips for Beginning a Daily Practice of Intentional Rest {Free E-Book!}

Filed Under: True You Tagged With: True You

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Lynn D. Morrissey says

    June 20, 2018 at 8:28 am

    Michelle,
    First I was scared: Where was Noah?! Then admittedly, I laughed. I didn’t so much see this as a mistake to panic about or even to teach a life lesson, because you were simply focused on the podcast, running, and deep breathing. 🙂 You were also on automatic pilot, because you had dialed that number so much, it was etched in your brain. That said, that God allowed your metaphorical brain to find a life lesson in it, and one that you understood and could apply, is a good thing. I had such a wake-up all when I forgot to attend my 102-year-old English teacher’s (whom I adored!!) birthday party, and I was bringing the cake–the beautiful, best-in-our-city bakery cake that I had had made to special specifications just for her!!! Talk about mortifying! This infamous event did have a very happy ending, thank the Lord, in that she was more than forgiving, and the residents in her senior center got to enjoy the best dessert in town (rather than just a small group of her students in a nice restaurant would have), but nonetheless, the experience was my wake-up call about distraction. Now, it’s a fun story and fond remembrance. So you are wise to heed the call God is giving you, even if I had the impression in reading it that I thought you were being a little too hard on yourself. 🙂 I do trust, though, that Noah made it to the orthodontist! If so, he probably would have rather you’d thought he was still in middle school! 🙂

    Always love what you write!
    Love
    Lynn

    Reply
  2. Heather Lederman says

    June 20, 2018 at 3:16 pm

    To stop and be ok with being the beloved, is very different than how I define myself day to day. Great story and reminder that I can be ok being just loved by God. Not having to be defined by all the titles I’m trying to earn!!!

    Reply
  3. Debbie says

    June 30, 2018 at 6:55 am

    I can identify totally! I’ve had moments when my mind was so occupied, I drove two exits on the freeway past my daily route to work. ‘Rather than resting in the knowledge of who we are at the center of our heart, mind and soul, we find ourselves scrambling to define and identify ourselves by what we do.’ Thank you for that.

    Reply
  4. Kelly says

    June 30, 2018 at 3:57 pm

    So good!

    Reply

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Living out faith in the everyday is no joke. If you’re anything like me, some days you feel full of confidence and hope, eager to proclaim God’s goodness and love to the world. Other days…not so much.

Let me say straight up: I wrestle with my faith. Most days I feel a little bit like Jacob, wrangling his blessing out of God. And most days I’m okay with that. I believe God made me a questioner and a wrestler for a reason, and I believe one of those reasons is so that I can connect more authentically with others.

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