Truly, I have never seen so much food at a single meal. Not on my mother-in-law’s Thanksgiving table. Not even at my Aunt Maureen’s annual Easter smorgasbord. The feast was epic.
A few weeks ago our friend Azzat mentioned that he and Afia wanted to host “a feast,” as the Yezidis say, as a way to thank all the people who had pitched in to set up their apartment before they arrived in Lincoln as refugees nearly two years ago.
“Invite everyone,” Azzat declared. He and Afia also insisted that no one bring a thing – not a bottle of wine or a liter of soda, not a bag of chips or a plate of brownies. “We want to do everything,” he said.
Sixteen of us squeezed into our friends’ townhouse living room on Sunday afternoon. We sat on the floor, our legs pulled in close so as to keep our socked feet clear of the plastic tablecloth that had been spread out on the carpet. Dish after dish was placed on the tablecloth: five roasted chickens, several huge tin foil pans of biryani and couscousi, 16 bowls of soup, 16 bowls of salad and a stack of naan so thick it could have doubled as an extra chair in a pinch.
We passed dishes back and forth, heaping spoonfuls of savory food high on one another’s plates, tearing pieces of soft naan, handing bowls around and across the makeshift table. I swear we ate for an hour and a half straight, and all the while, as friends new and old laughed and passed more plates, I couldn’t stop smiling. The photo my friend Kristen snapped with her iPhone captures my glee. In the picture, I’m grinning ear to ear like a fool, literally clapping my hands in sheer delight.
Our friends’ journey to Lincoln has been far from perfect. They wouldn’t have chosen it if they’d had any choice at all — that I know for sure. They left their beloved homeland, their culture, virtually all their possessions and most of their dearest friends and family to begin a new life free from the threat of ISIS, yet missing so many precious pieces of home. They have lived, and still live, daily heartbreak. They have lived, and still live, daily struggle.
And yet, in spite of incomprehensible hardship and loss, time and time again they give wholly of themselves and their resources to us. They don’t even think twice. They invite us and these friends of ours, strangers to them, into their own living room, they spread a table for us and lay out a feast and they lavish all of us with hospitality, generosity, warmth and love. They pour us the best wine, they cook for five hours to create all their best dishes (intentionally making extra so they can send every single one of their guests home with a plate of leftovers), they serve us, smiling and brushing off our praise like it’s all so no big deal.
But it is a big deal. As author Shannan Martin would say, this hospitality, this intentional walk toward, rather than away from another, is a very big deal.
“Offering ourselves as a kind-hearted presence in a world that has forgotten the meaning of community is a courageous act of peace,” writes Shannan in her beautiful book, The Ministry of Ordinary Places.
I love that, and I think that’s exactly why this beautiful family continues to astonish me. The ones considered outsiders and “other” by so many, the ones who arrived here from halfway around the world, the ones who have little compared to most of us, continuously offer their whole selves to us, welcoming us, embracing us and reminding us of what true community looks like.
Their kind-hearted presence in our lives and their generosity and investment in us is truly a courageous act of peace….and of love.
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I can’t think of a better book to give away with this post about community than Shannan Martin’s new release, The Ministry of Ordinary Places. If you don’t know Shannan, get thee to her website, pronto. She is of of my favorite writers, hands-down. I loved her first book, Falling Free, so much, I wrote about it in my own upcoming book. And I think The Ministry of Ordinary Places is even better! This book will make you laugh out loud and it will bring tears to your eyes, almost within the same paragraph. AND it will convict you in all the best ways about the power, beauty and gift of living with our ordinary neighbors in our ordinary places.
To be eligible for the drawing, please leave a comment telling us about one small thing a neighbor or friend did for you that made all the difference. I will draw one name at random on Monday, October 15 and will notify the winner by email.
This is not a small thing, but a big one. My friend lives in Belgium and I email every day. She has known it’s been a tough time for my family and I the last couple of years and that my husband and I have not been able to take a much needed vacation to breathe and regroup and keep going in a very long time. She just arranged for two nights away at a very nice hotel on a river for us to go to in early November. It has breathed new life into us knowing we will have time away to look forward to. Such a blessing she will never know.
My neighbor bought me Aleve at the store as she was leaving town because she knew my back was messed up.
That expression on your face–GAH! It says so much (and the food…my word, I thought you were exaggerating a wee bit until I saw the picture :).
The first morning we had spent the night in our new house, I was unpacking boxes, unshowered, and I’m not even sure if I had brushed my teeth. I heard a knock on our back door, and reluctantly, I answered it for the aforementioned reasons. It was our neighbors, Emily and Spiros, bringing us a breakfast spread that would last for days. They even included plates and napkins, so handy since everything was still packed. More than the food, though, it was their visit. They stayed half an hour, asking questions, letting us know a bit about themselves, and they handed us a slip of paper with their names, numbers, and email addresses. We were both overwhelmed at their generous welcome, and I’m eager for a new neighbor to pay it forward!
And….I would LOVE to win a copy of Shannon’s book!! I’ve been dying to get a copy of it, and winning would be like a little lottery :). Thank you for giving me reason to relive this sweet memory :).
I’m sitting here thinking through various “little” things neighbors and friends have done, and different memories keep popping up as I try to choose just one. I’ve settled on this one:
I am a missionary in Africa, and usually find myself back in the USA for a month or so, once a year. On one of these trips, I planned to spend a full day with one of my good friends. Over breakfast and plans to get much needed (for me anyway) pedicures, she asked when the last time was that I went clothes shopping for myself. We proceeded to hit up a Marshall’s and I tried on countless things…and my friend bought absolutely every piece that I decided I liked well enough to stick in the ‘yes’ pile. It was totally unexpected, a huge blessing to my limited budget, and a nice refreshment to my wardrobe. 🙂
We live in Maine with three small kids and one small snow blower, every year on the big snowstorms our neighbor plows out the end of our driveway.
When we moved half-naked way cross the county, a friend we didn’t know (yet) provided us with some things to live with as the moving truck was delayed by a storm and we had no beds, chairs, lamps, dishes or anything.
love the coffee cup logo you used in your blog post to visualize community. A dear friend brought a HUGE crock pot of chicken hot dish when my dad died – never forgotten. What a blessing as family & friends came to share memories and hugs.
Your face says it all! We will be filled with deep joy when we reach out to others in our ordinary places, inviting others and Jesus in. Thank you for sharing this powerful post and book – I loved both!
When I was having a particularly lonely and hard day in a new town, a friend sent a bouquet of fresh flowers to my door. It made me feel like I wasn’t forgotten and was just what I needed.
This is a beautiful post. It’s about humanity. How gracious people are day to day and how often we whisk past it, not noticing. Thank you so much for posting this. It brightened my morning.
A few months after we moved into our new house, my husband had to go out of town. One evening a mouse found its way into my living room – Yikes! I had no idea what to do and tried to keep somewhat calm as to not freak out my kids. I had met our neighbor ONCE at a PTO meeting – she is a teacher at my son’s school. I called her and even though it was 9 PM, dark and we were both without husbands, she came down to help me with the mouse.
My beautiful friend and sister in Christ, Katie, swooped in to help me clean during a work day lunch to prepare for a small group meeting at my house that evening. She arrived with cleaning supplies AND a fragrant candle! How can you be gifted by the one coming to help?! The feeling as I walked back to work, first time I EVER left a friend vacuuming my house as I walked away! What beautiful grace. What love the Father has lavished upon us!!!!
I love writing this for this giveaway in particular as the small group meeting was a group formed to dream and prayerful develop a wellness center in our little town. A place to refresh weary hearts in community. It’s name: the dWELLing. Please join us in praying this into reality, and may we be inspired in the meantime to MAKE community in the ordinary places we have until it comes.
When my father passed away a couple months ago it was in a town far from where I live now… during the visitation I look up to see my friends there.. they just showed up … there were there in my time of need.. it was such a blessing to see them…
When our four children were small we hired a young man from our church who had just started a lawn care business to fertilize our lawn a couple of times. Than, two months later, my husband was diagnosed with cancer requiring surgery and radiation. Our youngest was six months old and I was overwhelmed. This man sent his crew every week all summer to mow and care for our lawn. No big announcement, they just faithfully showed up every week. I still get tears when I think of his kindness to our family.
When our boys were elementary age, a couple catty-corner from us, invited us to join them camping at EAA (Experimental Aircraft Association) held in Oshkosh every year. That year we did. This past summer marks our eighteenth year. Unfortunately, we lost our neighbors some years back. He died of mesothelioma and she moved back home. It took three years before she attended EAA again.
But during this one week, fourteen families from WI, MI, MN, IN IL, become a temporary neighborhood. Besides being there for the show, and volunteering, we mow each others area, watch each others sites, share our food, grills, campfires and stories. Do shopping runs, and have a movie night using a side of a camper for a screen, etc… We do more caring and sharing in these few days, with these people, than (sadly) we do all year with our neighbors back home.
My fellow Stephen Ministry students and trainers provided me with much need support during my diagnosis, surgery, radiation and beyond when I was diagnosed with breast cancer a few weeks into our training.
My 92 year old neighbor and I took a walk through the neighborhood. And then sat on lawn chairs in the door way of her garage and watched the sun set. Just spending time together. What a gift.
I texted my neighbor that my husband had been diagnosed with cancer just a few hours after he had been admitted into the hospital. The first time in our 30 year marriage. She showed up with my daughters favorite, chick fil a and helped me get her ready for bed and watched me Tuck her in with her cpap mask as I showed her how to take it off or put it back on if need be. It was a first which led to many firsts over the period of 2 years now. I remember her calling our mutual GP for me the next morning for an emergency appointment because I couldn’t eat,sleep or barely breathe. She held my hand and stepped into a messy situation with no expectations. (He is now in stringent clinical remission as he continues the four years of chemo and two stem cell transplants. Miraculously healed.) I’ve read Shannans work since she was a blogger called flower patch far girl and she mailed me “falling free” during this tough time. I’d love to own her new book as I chase after grace and mercy in the midst of humble imperfection.
*Flower Patch Farm girl. Oops!
We’ve been blessed by so many ‘small’ kindnesses that it’s hard to choose just one! Most recently a co-worker sent flowers to thank me for doing a specific job – just a small part of my everyday role. To be seen and appreciated for ‘just doing my job’ blessed me more than I can express.
My Canadian thanksgiving feast was at my friend, Izaura’s place. My kids were all occupied and it was nice for my husband and I to enjoy the sense of community around her table. It’s been 33 years since I met her on the plane on my trip back from Brazil. She didn’t speak more than a few words English at the time, but as she was making the same connections as I. The friendship was further encouraged by her boss (who she had worked for before in Brazil) the President at the time of a Media Corporation, when picking her up, gave me a ride home. She continues to nurture me with her friendship through all these years and all the ups and downs of family life.
I had a neighbor who would snowblow around my car that was parked near his property since I had to park on the street (no driveway). Another time, I had a flat tire. I was working on loosen the lug nuts. He tried but neither one of us could loosen them. He gave me advice to call a towing service which eventually helped. I moved from that neighborhood, but I think of how that older man often who really helped a young lady out.
Neighbors are not what they used to be. I remember taking May baskets to leave on doors every May 1 and homemade popcorn balls given out for Halloween. I found it sad that I could not remember anything a neighbor did other than say hello. Many things friends did, yes, but not neighbors. Maybe that tells me I need to read Shannan’s book. Maybe I can than get back to being a good neighbor even if other neighbors do not.