A few weeks ago a good friend admitted to me over lunch that for the last few years, whenever she read something I’d posted on Facebook, it had struck her as “a little off.” “I can’t explain it exactly,” she said. “I knew it was you, obviously, but at the same time it didn’t seem to be totally you.”
I cringed. After all, no one wants to be accused of inauthenticity. Yet it seemed that was exactly what my friend was implying. What I heard her say, in so many words, was that I was not quite the same person online that I was in real life.
Years ago, long before I’d published my first book, my agent and I talked often about marketing and branding. She’d encouraged me to figure out who I was and where I fit in the Christian publishing landscape. “You need to find your place and your people,” she advised.
It was good advice. Finding your audience is important, especially for a new writer. The problem was, I didn’t seem to fit anywhere.
As a member of a mainline Protestant denomination, my personal theology aligns with that of “progressive” Christians, yet I’m not outspoken, and I shrink from controversy like it’s the Black Death. I admire many progressive Christian authors, read their work and agree with many of their views, but I also knew the online realm they often occupy was too contentious for me.
On the other hand, my views on marriage equality don’t square with most evangelicals. Though I was always welcomed with grace and love, I also knew in my heart that the more traditional evangelical online communities for women weren’t the best fit for me either.
It seems there is ample room if you sit squarely on either end of the theological spectrum as an outspoken “progressive Christian writer” or a more traditional “evangelical writer,” but, ironically, less space for those who roam the gray area in between.
I wrote both biography and memoir. My first book was released by a progressive Christian publisher, my second (and third and fourth) by a conservative evangelical house. Depending on both my mood and the tenor of the piece I was writing, my “voice” swung from gritty, self-deprecating and sardonic to encouraging, contemplative and lyrical. Once or twice when I was feeling especially convicted I wrote provocative “lightning rod” pieces, but my preferred sweet spot was writing stories and observations about ordinary life and faith.
In short, I did not write in a single genre. I did not have a finely tuned message. My voice varied, and I didn’t fit neatly in one place with one particular audience.
I also did not have a consistent personal brand.
“A brand,” marketing expert Debbie Millman said recently on the Hurry Slowly podcast, “is the result of manufactured meaning.”
Think of the Nike swoosh. What was once simply a random mark, something you might have absentmindedly doodled in the margin of a notebook, has become imbued with meaning. Today we can’t see “the swoosh” without automatically connecting that once-random symbol with attributes like strength, power, athleticism, success, action and “just do it.” Nike manufactured meaning around its brand.
With the rapid explosion of social media came the rise of the personal brand. Influencers from entrepreneurs to movie stars to talk show hosts have personal brands, and these days, most authors – particularly non-fiction authors – have a personal brand too (or at the very least, a consistent, recognizable image and message).
The fact is, the most successful non-fiction authors – both “regular” market and Christian – have constructed powerful personal brands (to be clear, I’m defining “success” based on sales numbers, and, to a lesser extent, number of social media followers). Look no further than best-selling author Rachel Hollis, whose first book Girl, Wash Your Face – published by Christian publisher Thomas Nelson – has sold 1.5 million copies. Hollis has 1.4 million Instagram followers and 1.5 million Facebook fans. Readers know exactly who and what they’ll get when they pick up a book by Rachel Hollis (or when they visit her Instagram, listen to her podcast, watch one of her FB Live videos or attend one of her RISE events), in large part because Hollis has masterfully built a clear, consistent and compelling personal brand — a brand that sells.
Hollis has done exactly what Forbes magazine journalist and entrepreneur Goldie Chan advises in her article “10 Golden Rules of Personal Branding.” Along with “Have Focus,” “Be Consistent” and “Be Genuine“ is Rule #8: “Live Your Brand”:
“Have your lifestyle and brand be one and the same…Your personal brand should follow you everywhere you go. It should be an authentic manifestation of who you are and amplify what you believe.”
At first glance this sounds perfectly acceptable. Who can argue with authenticity and beliefs, right? And from a business, marketing and promotions standpoint, it makes sense. Consumers like to know what they are getting and to have their expectations met, and branding helps achieve that goal. If you like the image and message Rachel Hollis projects online, chances are good that you’ll like her books too.
The problem, though, is that we are talking about human beings. And human beings are inconsistent by nature. We are complex. We are messy. We are complicated and unpredictable. No matter how genuine or authentic we aim to be online, these projections of ourselves are mere holograms. Our very inability to be defined and contained is what makes human beings both amazing and, at times, awful. We are fearfully and wonderfully made; we are flawed and fallible.
We are both/and. And both/and does not make for an effective brand.
Branding works great with sneakers, cars, appliances and handbags. But human beings are not sneakers. We are not cars, appliances or handbags. Human beings are not intended to be brands.
I think this is what my friend was getting at when she observed that there was something not quite right about my online presence. She couldn’t put her finger on it exactly, but I suspect what she was intuiting was a subtle tension, a quiet battle of sorts unfolding just under the surface. I was trying to convey a consistent message. I was trying to offer a consistent voice and a consistent image. I was trying to find a place to fit. I was trying to have focus and be genuine – please believe me when I say that I was genuinely trying to be genuine! I was, in short, trying to give my “audience” what I thought they expected or wanted. In my own stumbling way, I was trying to have a brand, to be a brand. But on the inside, my soul knew better. My soul knew that a human being can’t be a brand.
Here’s the truth about me: Sometimes I’m crabby as all get-up. Sometimes I’m snarky and cynical. Sometimes I’m funny, silly, lighthearted, full of joy and optimism. Sometimes I’m morose. Sometimes I’m energetic. Sometimes I’m withdrawn. Sometimes I’m outgoing. Sometimes I’m exuberant. Sometimes I’m subdued. Sometimes I’m compassionate. Sometimes I’m selfish. I’m two parts sweet and sentimental, two parts crass (or maybe that ratio is 1:3). The scent of a blooming apple tree can move me to tears in the middle of my morning run. I also burp out loud in the privacy of my own home (much to my family’s ongoing horror) and use the F-word from time to time.
I mean, can we just be honest here? No brand in the world could be an “authentic manifestation” of that!
If there’s anything consistent about me (and dare I say, about any human being, even the most masterful personal brandmasters!) it’s that I am inconsistent. I’m a bundle of contradictions. I’m always changing. Sometimes I’m growing, moving forward, being transformed. Sometimes I’m stumbling one step forward two steps back. I won’t be the exact same person tomorrow that I am today. I’m not the same person today that I was yesterday.
In short, I am a human being. I am messy and magical, mundane and mesmerizing. And here’s the truest thing I can tell you about myself right now: I’m grateful that everything that makes me both fabulous and flawed can’t possibly be captured and contained in a brand.
One of the best posts ever! I worked for a decade (and still remain close) for my brother, who back in the day, was very well known within his genre, was on TV for 10 years and even won an Emmy award within his category, and also had best selling books during that time. He, too, walked in that tension yo wrote about and walked that fine line and eventually he decided to walk away from it all when he couldn’t stomach it any more. And it’s almost harder once you’ve really become “successful” and well known to do that. People question everything. He leads a very quiet life now and enjoys it much more, though he still struggles with the creative outlet he still needs.
I love your authenticity, Michelle, and I am so much the same way, full of contradictions, more progressive than not in my faith and politics, but completely surrounded by the opposite in a small, conservative town. I wish I had friend like you to go and have a cup of coffee with. It would be great to share a conversation with two like minded souls. But reading your words and others online at least comforts me to know there are others out there that feel the same.
Thank you again for this.
Thank you for this, Laura. I admire your brother – that must have been a hard decision. But I’m glad he has found some measure of peace and contentment. I have too, though like him, I still struggle with finding a creative outlet (which is why I am glad I’m still blogging). I wish we could sit down over coffee too. 🙂
First you earned a Facebook like. Then your authenticity then earned you a blog subscription and today, I’m ordering a book. Thank you for being real!
And thank YOU for your support – I appreciate it very much!
I agree with you – that for yourself and most human beings we are a mixture of focus, interests, values, practices, spiritual values, political leanings – both left and right. When you wrote about experiencing a spiritual Sunday by staying home from Church, it shows your openness to other practices and ways of doing things. Children should occasionally be allowed to stay home from school, adults need to take mental health days off work at times.
I don’t know the author of this quote: “Tell me where the crowd is going so I can be the leader”. Truly authentic people are those who are willing to step away from the herd – question the direction of where they are going, discern if what you are doing is truly right for you, have quiet times to reflect on how you are spending your time, efforts and money.
Loved reading this ! Honest and refreshing !
My husband and I were just having a conversation about this while drinking coffee this morning. And then I read your I Am Not a Brand………it was like you were listening to us and joined the conversation. Excellent! And thank you!
This was so spot on and honest. We can brand things, but it is near impossible to brand humans. “But on the inside, my soul knew better. My soul knew that a human being can’t be a brand.” We can try, but it will never really catch the essence and uniqueness of a human. Partly because branding is so one sided, consistent, and flat. And it assumes we don’t change or grow. I look a myself ten years ago and now, and consistency has not been a driving trait. Then I look at myself 20 years ago, and well, once again, a whole lot of changing. Which is a good thing. I don’t want to be the same, ten years from now.
Yes! Well said!
The best brand is to be authentically you… in all of its contradictions and messiness… a wonderful and honest post, Michelle, thanks!
Michelle, thanks for your thoughts on branding. Branding seems to be the marketing version of “identity” seeking and defining our selves (‘true’ or ‘false’ selves) and each other- identity in politics, sexuality, religion and spirituality, etc. Perhaps that is a necessary human endeavor, sometimes being healthy and affirming of good but also having great potential for harm. One of the most skillful branders happens to be out President, alas not for good or any version of making America great that I can buy or believe. But I don’t want to go there now! It’s depressing. But to your point, yes, we are “both-and” (Luther- saints and sinners!) and “yes-but”. That can be messy. And challenging. And sometimes paralyzing; e.g. when we are called to stand up and be counted for justice’s or love’s sake. I have a hard time with that sometimes. Alas. But sometimes courage and truth can come out of the mess and fallibility that we are so often, i.e. human beings being human! I applaud your ongoing journey in this adventure. I relate to the bouncing back and forth between “progressive” and “traditional” among the other tensions and paradoxes you mention. For example, I can relate to your meditation on church outside of church and Sunday worship. Of course, God is present everywhere. And sometimes it is good to break from routines and habits which can sustain us but also sometimes inhibit us in our relationship to God. But I was also a little saddened that your column could be heard in a post-Christian, “spiritual but not religious”, or even an “I can worship God on the golf course” kind of way. Again, God is everywhere. But the church is still the Body of Christ. The church is still about community of loving, serving, worshiping together. Of course, we can worship God any time, any where in gratitude and wonder- even all alone in solitude. But even then we are part of the “church” which is always two or three or more gathered “in his name”. For Lutherans and other Christians, that in part means Word and Sacrament. Well, there’s another brand and identity puzzle! What does it mean to be “Christian”, “Church”, or person of faith, etc.! That can be messy and changing, full of tensions but also calling us to some kind of yes or no (to God, to each other, in politics out of our faith, for justice, etc.). But I wander afar from just saying thanks for your thoughts and continued prayers for your journey in vocation, life and family too. God has called you to good things and good service as well as good rest! Shalom.
I love, love, love this post! I think living and writing the way you say you live and write is really authentic! Yes, people change daily and in seasons of life. I’m not the same person I was 10 years ago, and I wouldn’t want to be! The brand issue is one of the main reasons I never wrote a book. What would I write about? I have so many interests. I could have written about 6 books on different topics if I had clones to help me do the writing, editing… But instead, I write on a blog where I can change what I write about whenever I wish. I like having readers, but I don’t mind my followers being small. I have always had a small group of family/friends who I was close to. I do not function as an extrovert. I prefer more intimate, deep conversations. Your individuality is why I like your books. My preference is your biographies, but I don’t mind at all that you branch out into memoir too. I enjoyed “True You”. I loved “Katharina and Martin Luther” and “50 Women Every Christian Should Know”!
About 5 or 6 years ago, a charity I volunteer for set up a booth at a big national blogging conference. They were seeking bloggers to write about them and raise awareness of this important issue. Dozens of popular bloggers jumped at the chance to further the cause and signed up to help. A month later, those same bloggers were given a simple assignment, to interview a volunteer. Bloggers and volunteers were matched up, email addresses exchanged, and the charity would amplify those bloggers voices by publishing them to their vast network. It would have been a win win, but it never happened. The bloggers, who had been so eager to help in the midst of an inspiring conference, now at home declined en masse, and they all gave the exact same excuse – “it won’t fit with my personal brand”. So, these bloggers as humans signed up and supported the cause, but the bloggers an nonhuman personal brands did not, the dichotomy which filled me with such anger at its pure phoniness and hypocrisy. Ever since then I cringe whenever I hear the term “personal brand”! Glad you are running away from it. Sectioning yourself off like that – I don’t think it’s a good way to live.
Yes – I so agree with this. On some things I come down on the very conservative side, yet many times my conservative friends see me as too liberal. I feel sometimes like I am in “no-man’s land.”
WHEW. Big sigh of relief. Thank you, Michelle 🙂
I appreciate this, Michelle, and I’ve told you often re: your writing skill, that you have a rare gift for being able to write equally well in numerous genres. I so rarely encounter that. I didn’t see that so much as abandoning a brand as your ability to navigate the multi-faceted waters of writing, addressing a number of varied topics, rather than being inconsistent. Of course, I know this is not what you’re talking about. It’s the whole marketing-comparison thing, one reason (I think) that you chose to stop publishing books (at least, for now 🙂 ). I get it. I naturally shy away from branding, because it is so confining and martkety. Of course, I’m not publishing books right now, and have the freedom to refuse to be “branded.” So, yes, I do get the whole sales thing; if you don’t sell books you’ve written, no one will read what you write; if no one reads your books, then the publishers can’t do business, and they surely won’t want yours! Still, it often feels artificial, gimmicky, and commercial to me, and worse, that people fit into a branded mold to fit whatever will sell (and a lot of times at a cost to their personal integrity. They write about the latest fad, rather than their true passion). What you have captured here is so true and important to understand. People (and authors) are complex human beings, created in the image of a complex God—people who have a wide range of emotions, experiences, beliefs, and gifts. We can’t be boxed, packaged, and tied with a pretty brand of bow on top. We can’t be pigeon-holed. And I think that this reality has collided with a society (and publishing world) that loves simple solutions and longs to do just that, from our careers, to skills, to life experiences, to spiritual beliefs, to emotions, to politics. And we Christians, who are denominational (or not) tend to brand people, to categorize them, to label them, to make incredible presumptions about them. This happened to me as a blog commenter a couple of years ago, based on what the blogger *thought* he saw in my opinions. He boxed me into *his* preconceived notion of what it means to be a biblical Christ-follower. Frankly, he did me a great disservice, and he was arrogant and presumptuous in how he did it. I wrote an extremely long (and hopefully gracious, well-reasoned response) to him, and he never responded. Presuming he read my response, I pray he was able to see me beyond the neat, tidy (and to him unacceptable) box into which he’d stuffed me, labeled me, and closed fast the lid. Michelle, I’ve been transparent with you on important (to us both) topics on which we disagree. I’ve been transparent with unbelievers as well on where I disagree with them. But I don’t box them in. I try very hard not to label people as liberal, pagan, whatever is anathema to most Christians. When I do that I am not showing compassion like Christ. I box *myself* in, as well, and shut tight the lid of my heart, where a big brand labeled S-R (Self-Righteous) lurks across my chest. How can I possibly share the love of Christ when I do that? Jesus never compromised truth (He is the Truth!), but He met people in all their messiness and reached out to them both in truth and love. I know this is a really meandering post, and I’m talking about two different elements of branding, but I think both aspects show the difficulty of employing. And I can’t help but consider the original meaning of brand: “A mark made by burning with a hot iron, as upon a criminal, or upon a cask; a stigma; any note of infamy.” And going way back, a brand was a sword. To sum up brands for me, aspect one: It is often difficult to brand complex individuals and their gifts. . . . aspect two: Branding others is like brandishing a sword and going to battle with them. When we brand people, we fight them, rather than trying to understand them and to share the love of Christ.
I remember way back in high school, my art teacher told me that I had a painting style. It’s something you either have or don’t have, it’s difficult to manually create one. I feel that you have a definite and authentic writing style that is “truly you.” You have so much creativity! We all have our own opinions and impressions, but I have never thought what you write is slightly off or not you. Your hallmark is expressing yourself genuinely and honestly, warts and all. Just my humble thoughts.
I have always appreciated that you were a real person and wrote that way. I loved your honesty and openness. That’s what was priceless to me.
This is partially why I have been almost unable to write online anymore. I feel pressured to write as if I have a brand, and I can’t do it. Thanks for this post. It so resonates with me.
You, dear Michelle, are as authentic as anyone can be! As a MOPS mentor mom, I’ve been trained to be authentic with the moms I serve each year. Authenticity is being genuine, honest, who you are where you are–you are now doing that creatively on this blog. Giving up the battle to become a brand, have a platform drove me to take my manuscript of a memoir and tuck it away without publishing it. I couldn’t fight the battles expected of me because if I did, I wasn’t me. You are struggling with the same, but I encourage you to draw a deep breath, call God near, and let him tell you who you are to him and to your family. That’s your brand, that’s who you are. Here, you are a friend to many of us who write and struggle to find the creativity we love and long for. Hang in there as this change in you transforms your day-to-day. Love you for who you are!
Thank you for your honesty and authenticity. I think branding is an excellent strategy for products but things have gone way too far. I agree that humans are complex beings – fearfully and wonderfully made. Personal branding reduces our uniqueness and complexity to a slogan or elevator pitch. By embracing the branding concept we are conforming to the pattern of this world (Romans 12:2)