Last weekend I read the story in Matthew 4 of Jesus’ call to Peter, Andrew, James and John to follow him and become his disciples. “Come,” Jesus said to the fishermen. “Follow me, and I will make you fish for people.”
Matthew tells us that all four men immediately dropped their nets, left their boats and followed Jesus, and I wondered, in that moment, what Jesus might be asking me to leave behind in order to follow him. My initial response was, “Nothing.” After all, I reasoned, last year was the year of leaving things behind. I quit book publishing, I quit writing my monthly column for the local newspaper, I quit speaking. I let so much go; surely there couldn’t be more to release, right?
In addition to the Year of Quitting Everything, 2019 was also a season of deep soul-searching. I read several spiritual and secular “self-help” books, re-entered counseling and filled journal after journal with questions and reflections. I was on a quest, a pilgrimage of sorts, to uncover my true, God-created self, and I was determined to leave no stone unturned. It was an exhilarating, gratifying, transformational season.
Research is my sweet spot, my comfortable place. Nothing makes me happier than gathering facts, evidence, knowledge and answers – especially, it turns out, when my research topic is my own self. I dove into my year of self-discovery with gusto. But here’s what I am realizing about my desire for knowledge, information, clarity and answers: it is, ironically, yet one more way I keep myself at arm’s length from my own self, from others and from God.
There is nothing inherently damaging about [most] self-help books (spiritual or secular). There’s nothing wrong with looking to the guru of the day for guidance and insights. Many offer a tremendous depth of wisdom and compassion, and I learned a lot from what I read this past year. The problem arises, however, when this quest for knowledge and insight becomes both another distraction – a way to avoid – and a means to control.
As long as I assume I can find the answer – the way – “out there,” I don’t have to sit with what’s right here in the deepest part of myself.
When I heard Jesus tell me to drop my nets, I realized he was asking me to drop what had become a safety net. “Come, follow me,” he said. He was asking me to leave my desire for clarity and direction behind in order to walk alongside him in trust, regardless of whether or not I know where we are going.
Jesus didn’t give the disciples any direction when he called them. He didn’t point out which way they were headed; he didn’t offer any clear insights or answers or even hint about where they were going. He said nothing other than, “Come, follow me,” along with the cryptic, “and I will make you fish for people.” Jesus’ presence was answer enough, and he asked his disciples to trust him with that single piece of evidence.
Nets can offer us safety, but safety is not always the better way. What looks like safety can end up entangling us. What looks like security can keep us from the true freedom into which God invites us.
It is good and right to be attentive to God’s movement in our lives, but it is also good and right to trust that he will make the way known without our grasping or pushing, without our seeking or striving – without, in fact, a lot of effort on our part at all. This is not complacency or apathy, but rather, a receiving, a yielding – a surrendering in confident trust that God is putting everything right with us and for us.
As I am learning, there’s always more to leave behind; there’s always something else to drop. Each time we release, we come closer alongside God.
Beautiful, thank you for sharing and challenging me.
Yes we have to come to the end of ourselves. I so agree with you! Thank you!
Well, this is powerful, Michelle, and evidence that as we truly give our ALL for and to Christ (because He gave us *His* ALL), He will always reveal more for us to give (up)! My word for 2020 is ALL (can you tell)? 🙂 When we leave our nets and follow Jesus, we simultaneously pick up our cross, dying to ourselves. Jesus expects and commands it. It’s not easy, living this Christian life, hence the need always to remember that we cannot, without asking Jesus for His strength and to realize that it is His Spirit who lives His life in and through us. It looks as if the Lord has revealed to you yet another aspect of yourself He wants you to let go. Several years ago (during Lent, actually), I sensed the Lord directing me to do no outside reading. This meant that I was to read the Bible alone. Reading the Bible is necessary for my daily spiritual food; God would never withdraw that from us. It is our very life. But I should stop reading my *other* books–I, an author myself, to whom words, indeed, are my life? Wow. Tall order. How could I do that?! But, by the grace of God, and with His Spirit’s enabling, I stopped reading any other book (sacred or secular–and yes, all truth is God’s truth so some secular books can be insightful). But I realized that all my reading was really a stall tactic, often, from things God had already asked me to do. Being both a perfectionist and procrastinator (twin debacles, in my case), I realized (finally) that I was reading and reading and reading to find THE perfect direction, solution, etc., and to PUT OFF my obeying what the Lord had already made clear to me in His Word! In my case, these stall tactics were sin. By fasting from books, God had my attention, and strengthened and sustained me, and in the silence, He spoke! It was a good fast. Maybe God could be calling you to that, too? I don’t know. I’m not suggesting it (and certainly not dictating it!), but just sharing my experience.
Using Bible Gateway, I looked up “net.” Wow. It’s always used as a metaphor (or reality) for some kind of a trap. It was a powerful to read that concept verse after verse in the Old Testament . . . but, equally powerful to read about “nets” when Jesus spoke of them. Of course, there is the example you cite, in which dropping one’s nets bespeaks freedom, risk, and obedience (none of those is entrapping). And then, curiously, I saw a good connotation in this verse: “Once again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was let down into the lake and caught all kinds of fish.” This is positive and falls in line with this idea of being a “fisher of men.” Oh to be “caught” in Jesus’ net. In this case, a net connotes safety and security–not in the same way that you so aptly describe, but safety and security in Christ, Himself, and in His Kingdom. Jesus also displayed His power and His true identity when He directed the disciples to drop their nets in an area where they had already fished and had been unsuccessful. This, too, involved their obedience by doing something that to these professional fishermen made no earthly sense. Oh what a colossal catch they made! Peter understood experientially that he had received this command from the divine Son of God! “Then Jesus said to Simon, ‘Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.’ So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.” You cited this. So, there seems to be a connection to me, in dropping our nets at Jesus’ command and where He tells us, because ultimately He is telling us to be fishers of men. What I have been learning thus far in my year of “ALL,” is that it is not just about me and my relinquishment; yes, that is imperative to obeying and following Jesus as Lord. But He always has more than me in mind. How will my obedience be witnessed by those fish in my personal sea of life? It is about drawing others to Christ through what Christ is doing in me. I think that that applies to all Christians.
So, dear Michelle, as you drop your nets, I also look forward to reading about who God “catches” in them as well. He’ll reward your obedience!
Happy 2020. I’ve missed being here and am back! Mother is soooo much better. And thanks for your “poetry reponse,” which to which I will respond. I’m catching up for two-months’ worth of absence–practically living with Mother in two hospitals and then living at her home to care for her.
Love
Lynn
Submit and trust are my words for 2020, Michelle, so your words here truly resonated deeply. We all need to drop those nets and follow the only One who can lead us home.
Blessings!
Great insight! It is something to consider for all of us readers. I won’t give up reading all books, but focused reading is more what I am targeting. I like the picture of dropping our nets (distractions, time wasters) and following Jesus.
Thank you!
Wow! It’s like you’re in my head and I couldn’t agree more!