The perks of working from home are endless: typing in yoga pants all day; moving the laptop to the patio to write outside; stopping to vacuum if I have writer’s block. I could go on and on. And this past weekend I realized another hidden benefit of working from home: with no one else to talk to, there is less temptation to gossip.
Until last weekend I hadn’t engaged in a rip-roaring gossip session in about a year. But I can’t really take any credit for that. The simple fact is, now that I work from home, I’m away from what used to be my gossip hot spot: the office.
Last weekend, though, amid a gaggle of girlfriends, I gossiped. Even worse, I enjoyed it. Worse yet: when I realized I was gossiping, and it occurred to me that I should stop, I didn’t. Because I didn’t want to. Because it was fun. Because I liked the way it made me feel like one of the gang. Because I liked how gossiping made me feel better than someone else.
At the end of the day, though, I didn’t feel better about myself. That night in bed, as I replayed some of the comments I’d made around the table, I cringed. The false high that had accompanied the gossiping crashed into a feeling of self-loathing. I was ashamed.
God isn’t fooling around about gossip. He knows how damaging it is, which is why he made it one of the top ten: “You must not testify falsely against your neighbor.” (Exodus 20:16) The real damage of gossip isn’t simply talking trash about your neighbor. The real damage is what lies underneath.
The sin that lurks beneath the sin of gossip is pride – the need to put myself above and ahead of someone else. The need to jockey for a better position. The need to be first … or at least better-than. That, I think, is why gossip – “You shall not testify falsely against your neighbor” — is included in the Ten Commandments: because when I vie for first place at the expense of someone else, not only do I put myself ahead of that person, I put myself ahead of God.
Do you include gossip as part of “testifying falsely,” or do you interpret that commandment differently?
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Isn’t it funny how we always end up back in the garden? That pride — you can be more, you can be better — always rears its ugly head. Eve and I are definitely related.
I know, I know – for me it’s always pride that pulls me down – you are so right, Laura.
This was such an honest real post. I am at home all day almost alone. This is such a good post, Michele. Thanks for sharing it and also thanks for the linkup party.
And thanks for coming by so faithfully each week, Judith!
You’ve nailed it head on, Michelle, and you’re right. Gossip is pride which is often disguised in casual conversations, lunch dates, water-cooler rest-stops, and the worst: prayer requests. Working from home isn’t even a sure-fire prevention. I’ve gossipped via email, and I guess one could on blog posts. We’re not free from this temptation. But knowing it truly is sin is an honest start. And of course, the best thing is to stop it *before* you start. Thanks for your authenticity!
Lynn
Michelle, I love this – it’s such an honest post about gossip. You have admitted a weakness that many of us succumb to and identified clearly what makes us gossip. I love the way you have used your own experiences to point out the truth about gossip. I find it hard to resist the temptation to gossip too and you are right it is often rooted in pride, often in unforgiveness, never in grace. Thanks for sharing, Michelle.
I only gossip with my wife – and she and I don’t pass it on! Oh yes, and I forgive you and so does God!
Yes, gossip can be fun. We had a friend who formed her gossip as a prayer request! We found out a lot about what was going on just by her requests to pray! Hummm
Dear Michelle
You are spot on, dear friend! Gossip is such a bad way to try to overcome our insecurities. May we find our worth and acceptance in Jesus alone and not in the eyes of the world.
Blessings XX
Mia
I love, love, love how He reveals to us where we are at and grants grace to repent and move on! Thank you so much for transparency, Michelle!
“The sin that lurks beneath the sin of gossip is pride.”
And gossip can take so many forms, too, not just the traditional one we think about. We may learn to tame one form, only to find it rising up somewhere else. Thankful for God’s grace to continue forgiving me and transforming me to love more, gossip less. I’m not there, but he’s working with me.
Michelle, I love the honesty of this post. As I begin a new work week, where gossip feels everywhere at times, I’m grateful for how God speaks to my heart and reminds me how damaging gossip is. Thank you for how you are always honest and real with us. Thank for the opportunity to link up too! Blessings.
Excellent article, Michelle. And there simply are no “little” sins with God. Their ramifications can be far reaching. Thanks for the challenge and encouragement! And thanks for hosting the link-up once again.
Since I have been the subject of much gossip lately, I think I now understand from reading your post why no one called me and why no one went to the authorities. It was easier and more fun to gossip.
Taking action? That requires bravery.
Megan, that truth makes my heart hurt for you.
Maybe I tend to turn things into struggles too much, but some days I think that “easy” should always be a tip-off that the course of action contemplated isn’t a good one.
I think you’re onto to something, Sheila, with your thoughts on the easy way out. Often when we gossip we are taking the easy way out – perhaps instead of speaking truthfully and honestly to the person in question.
I’m with Sheila, Megan – my heart aches for you. I think that’s one of the worst, most pit-inducing feelings … to know you are the center of gossip. I hope the fact that knowing it’s insecurity and pride at the heart of their harsh words gives you at least some comfort, Megan. The truth is much, much harder to face. People were simply afraid, and they tried to lessen their fear by talking instead of doing what was right.
Thanks, Michelle and Sheila. I think you’re right.
Sadly, the shunning & gossip continues.
Pride is at the root of all my besetting sin. “The sin that lurks beneath the sin of ______ is pride. the need to put myself above and ahead of someone else. The need to jockey for a better position. The need to be first … or at least better-than” Why am I so dreadfully insecure?
Honest words from a caring heart. Thank you for hosting this.
Michelle, that’s a great thought – that gossip is actually bearing false witness. So true! Thanks for your honesty & for helping us think about the nuances of God’s Word. Hugs, Michelle
Hey there Friend…..I don’t know if it’s too late to comment or not, but I’m a-gonna comment anyway.
You know how I confessed to “slander” not long ago. I guess gossip/slander are two sides of the same coin, aren’t they? Convicting anew from this honest post, Michelle. Yes, I do consider gossip/slander as breaking the commandment that states, “You shall not commit false witness against thy neighbour”. Hand raised. Guilty here. But I am seeking the Spirit’s help in ceasing doing this when with friends. HE is the only One who can cure me of this ill in my prideful heart. Thank you for this, Michelle!