A girl can read a whole lot of back issues of More Magazine on a seven-hour drive home from Minnesota before the word sinks in.
So there I am, staring out the window at the white fields and cartwheeling windmills of Iowa, More Magazine open on my lap, when the word slips quietly into my consciousness.
“I think I have a word,” I say, turning to Brad.
“What kind of word?” he asks, pulling out his earbud. He’s listening to Wild in one ear while he drives. The kids play MineCraft on our phones in the backseat.
“You know,” I say, “like a touchstone. A word to guide me throughout the whole year. A word I can come back to when I go astray.”
“Enough,” I say. “I think my word is enough.”
Brad pauses. “It’s a good word,” he says. “It’s the perfect word.”
Truthfully I had no intention of choosing a One Word this year. I’d been there, done that, didn’t really feel the need to do it again. But clearly God thought otherwise, because he slipped that humble word right into my head in the middle of Iowa last Wednesday, just when I least expected it.
You see, God knows I have issues. I have a lot of issues, actually. I sneeze way too loudly. I require clean, uncluttered kitchen counters to ensure my mental health. The Chipmunks make me want to move to Yemen. A school day cancellation after 16 days of winter break compels me to write Facebook posts that rant, “I’m going to light my hair on fire and run down the street naked.” And in addition to these issues and many, many more, I also have a tendency to want more.
More, more, more.
Just a little bit more please. A little more money. More house. More shoes. A few more blog subscribers and Facebook fans and Twitter followers. More please, I’m almost but not quite satisfied, thank you very much.
And so, as January unfurls into February and soon March into April, and my very first book lands on bookshelves and in the Amazon warehouse, wherever in the world that is, I know my issue with wanting more is going to ratchet right up into the stratosphere.
More readings and events.
More, more, more.
Which is why God knows my 2014 needs to be about enough.
Enough, no matter what.
No matter how many, or how few, books sell. No matter how many, or how few, reviews are posted on Amazon. Now matter how many or how few stars those reviewers give. No matter how many books other people sell, or reviews they get, or stars they receive.
No matter what happens, or doesn’t happen, it is enough.
Once upon a time I knew this. Once upon a time, six years or so ago, I knew the book was enough. Just writing the book was enough, more than enough, because writing it brought me back to God. And how could that ever not be enough?
But then, little by little, it became not quite enough. The book needed to change someone other than me. The book needed to make an impact, transform a life, become something more. I needed the book to be more.
The book became about finding an agent, and then about finding a publisher, and then about marketing and platform and promotion. Before I hardly even realized it, the book became not nearly enough.
And so the word enough fell into my lap last week. And I suspect it wasn’t one bit a coincidence. I suspect enough was the word I needed to hear right then, and I suspect enough will be the word I need to hear, and the philosophy I need to embrace, all year long.
Do you have a word for 2014? How did you know it’s the word you need?