Last week Michelle wrote about her frustration with the business of being a writer–with the daily battle to gain and keep readers, to sell enough books to make a living from the work she loves. At times that pursuit has left her emotionally exhausted and spiritually taxed. As she puts it, “I’ve mistaken my work–or really, my success at my work–as the only measure of my worth.”
I can attest to this tendency in Michelle. She’s a number watcher in a number-watching business. She measures success blog subscriber by blog subscriber, book sold by book sold. It’s a concrete approach that is reinforced daily by the publishing houses and agents.
My initial, impulsive reaction to Michelle’s post is to point out how far beyond writing, publishing and selling her worth goes. And of course that’s true. Even if the worst happened for her professionally, even if Oprah dedicated an hour-long television special to how people should NOT read Michelle’s work, even then she would be worthwhile beyond measure.
All I need to do to realize that fact is to imagine our family without her. The physical household would fall apart as would the humor and the energy and the inspiration to be our best. Our boys don’t care that thousands of people have read her work. They only care that she reads with them before bed, tends to them in sickness, and laughs a contagious laugh that changes their whole day. The homeless man down the road doesn’t care about her Amazon rank, but I’m guessing that he does care about the food Michelle hands him or the bag of quarters she offers when she sees him carrying his clothes to the laundromat.
True as all of that may be, I cannot ignore how much energy Michelle invests in her work or the fact that it does, at least in part, define her and her sense of worth. And that’s not an entirely bad thing.
In fact, I happen to know the precise moment when I realized that all of the work that Michelle put into writing her memoir was worthwhile and revealed a great deal about her identity.
It was the afternoon of April 12th, and Michelle was doing a reading/book talk for roughly two hundred women at our church. She had forgotten something at home, so she called to ask me to bring it. When I arrived, the crowd was seated in the fellowship hall, and Michelle was reading from a particularly funny section of the book and discussing her journey toward faith.
The corridor from which I watched was empty, and I had the beautiful privilege of seeing how the crowd responded to her. At times they laughed uproariously; at other times they nodded in recognition; mostly they looked, with the bright eyes and subtle smiles of people who are thankful to be so entertained and edified.
Through the doorway I could see most of the crowd, but I could only hear Michelle. And it was the crowd that most interested me. They were the ones who demonstrated, so clearly, the worth in Michelle’s work. I have rarely understood anything so perfectly, so purely than in that moment of realization. Whatever might become of Michelle’s memoir in terms of sales or professional recognition, it paled in comparison to the joy she brought to that group of listeners in that moment.
We can never really understand our worth or even whether our work is worthwhile, because we can never be the person to stand in the corridor. We’re too weighted down by the disparity between the perfection we envision and the reality for which we must settle.
But once in a while–no, as often as possible–we need to see through God’s eyes. They provide the ultimate corridor perspective, the ultimate vision of one who can see past our imperfections to our big-picture impact and to our boundless potential.
That is true worth.
What beautiful words your husband has shared here, Michelle! I’m praying that you’re soaking them in today.
Oh my word, Brad. I laughed at the Oprah image… but got all teary by the end. I’m so glad you made Michelle promise to publish this post. It’s much easier to see the big picture impact and boundless potential of others than of our own. Thanks for the reminder to see ourselves with a corridor perspective as well.
Michelle, I understand your sheepishness about posting this, but thank you for sharing Brad’s perspective with us. Not only did I rejoice FOR you, but I was reminded that I too, am probably my own worst critic. We all need a “Brad” in our life.
Now that is a very smart man who made you promise to publish his words! While the post affirms you, Michelle, it is something we all need to so remember, no matter what we do in life. May we come to realize that in this life, we may never know what happened as we did kindnesses, hugged a friend or a stranger, sent a card, prayed or wrote. But may we be faithful to keep on doing that which God lays upon our hearts. Just think of how surprised we are going to be one day when we stand before Him! And Amazon won’t be in heaven to witness it all :))) Much love & appreciation!
Such kind words from your husband. Not only does this reveal your beauty as a writer but also as a wife –which is far more important. “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” Proverbs 31:11
What a wonderful testament to your wife, Brad. What a wonderful insight into the worth of writing, not measured by numbers and dollars, but by how much it fuels our spirit and our souls. Thank you for this. I’m tucking it into an Evernote file for days when I’m discouraged.
What a beautifully written post. How wonderful to have a husband that can support you and see your worth as well as your potential. That is a true partnership. Kudos to Brad. What a man!
Brad this is beautiful! I can relate when she read from “Spiritual Misfit” at the Refresh my Heart conference. The response from the attendees was wonderful to hear and watch. Love you Michelle. ♡
Well said Brad!!
WOW! This is so beautifully written and heart-felt. Brad wrote from his deep in his soul and it is so obvious. I smiled and I was teary-eyed. What a testament to his love for you AND a reminder for all of us. Thank you for hitting the publish button, Michelle. Thank you, Brad, for sharing this.
Brad, thank you so much for sharing this picture of Michelle that she would never share herself. And Michelle? It hurts my heart to think of how you felt about your worth. You have such a big and beautiful heart and you write with beautiful humor that also inspires me to be more like Jesus. I love you dearly, my friend. I count you as a gift from God. Truly.
wow. amazing encouraging words from a ‘hubby’ standing on the sidelines. Everyone needs a cheerleader and this is powerful. I am so glad you published this, someday your boys will read it and learn how to love like ‘their dad did’.
Brad’s got it! The worth and value of that book is not in volumes sold. It’s in the Aha moment experienced by the reader. perhaps I negatively influenced sales when I shared my copy with others, saying “You’v gotta read this”! Admittedly, I did buy 2 extra copies that I gave to others.
The value in that book is not #’s sold, but rather in the number of lives touched, a number you will never know!
You’ve got a keeper, Michelle!
Bravo Brad! I have loaned my “Spiritual Misfit” book to 3 women in my Bible Study, two of them former Catholics. They all three loved it! So now a fourth has it. Sorry they didn’t buy a copy, yet this just proves the positive impact Michelle’s book is having on people.
This was beautiful, and I hope you are taking it to heart, Michelle. He’s a keeper, just like my husband, who loves me no matter my jean size and even though I’ve never had a book published at all, despite the millions of words I’ve written in newspapers, newsletters and blogs.
What a great response and I’m so glad you published it! How easily we miss our own self worth and get lost in the numbers. These are beautiful words spoken by a man who truly loves you and sees you as the pearl you are! You are truly blessed, Michelle! Thank you, Brad, for your words!
I was one of those women in that fellowship hall, hanging on every word that Michelle spoke that day! I am so grateful to our God for helping her find Him and for bringing her to us! Everyone needs encouragement (way more often than we know!) and it’s wonderful when it comes from the one in your life who knows you better than anyone else in this world! I can attest to that! AND when that person gives you encouragement and praise, it means more than the praise of 1000 strangers! That person has seen you at your best AND your worst, watched you through struggles that others never knew about, and see just how far you have come! I can tell you to never doubt yourself, Michelle, but then I should also say those words to myself! Remember to lean on loved ones who can give you genuine encouragement and strength, but most importantly remember to lean on Him!
Way to go, Brad!
Michelle (and Brad), this is such a great reminder of why we write books. Of course we hope that our books sells. But why? To get into the hands of readers, to encourage people, to create a connection, to start a conversation. This scene that Brad witnessed, of your gift to connect with people–listeners, readers–is incredible. May you relax into your gifts and see where God takes you next. Thank you, Brad, for writing this and sharing this perspective–literally, your perspective from the corridor. It helps us all see with fresh eyes, while celebrating God at work through Michelle.
Michelle, you’ve got a keeper in Brad.
Brad, you already know you’ve got a keeper in Michelle. Thanks for sharing this space, so we can hear your voice, too.
<3
(He's a keeper, Michelle.)
🙂
“Whatever might become of Michelle’s memoir in terms of sales or professional recognition, it paled in comparison to the joy she brought to that group of listeners in that moment.”
So very true!
Thank you, Brad…both for your encouragement to Michelle and for sharing your wisdom with the rest of us.
Blessings to you and your family!
Such beautiful words, Michelle, from one who recognizes your true worth. Embrace that today and let it be your motivation. Statistics don’t always tell the whole story.
What a blessed…rich!…couple you are.
This was amazing! Thank you for putting aside you (understandable) reluctance and hitting publish. I needed to hear these words today as clearly so many others did as well.
I wish every woman on earth could read and reread such a glowing tribute about them. Kudos Brad! Kudos Michelle and quit looking at numbers…..God is in the book of Acts as are you!
This is sweet and so well said. I don’t even know, you, Michelle, but THIS “Michele” also has a wonderful and appreciative husband who regularly confronts me with the Word of God and what He says about my worth. My advice to you, Michelle, is to listen to your husband — really listen. It’s easy to discount husbandly wisdom, especially if it is countered by other, louder voices. However, when it comes down to what matters (and it always does), it is our godly husbands’ voices that God will use to build up our souls.
Wow Michelle what a great post give that man a <<>>!
that was suppose to say HUG! Michelle
Michelle, you are most blessed among women! Brad has written such a loving and understanding portrait of you – the real you – the one loved beyond measure in God’s eyes. Believe it! 🙂
Oh, and tell Brad I think he’s an awesome writer.
Blessings!
what a wonderful perspective you have shared with us today. thank you. refreshing. gracious. and encoraging reminder of where our truth worth lies.
Beautiful words from the one who knows you so well. Love this.
Well Brad, I am a subscriber to Michelle’s blog, as well as someone who has benefited greatly from more personal email exchanges with your wonderful wife. I don’t always get to comment, but I read every word she has laboured to write. I have both of her books, and I cherish them. BUT, what I love most about Michelle is her raw authenticity. She is REAL. It comes through in her words, her photographs, her loving emails, but most of all, through her LIFE, her REAL life with you and your boys! When you say that your “boys don’t care that thousands of people have read her work. They only care that she reads with them before bed, tends them in sickness, and laughs [her] contagious laugh that changes their whole day”—well, that just says it all for me. That is the beautiful ‘work’ of a mother—the little things that will most matter when she stands one day before her Maker. The Love she gave. And not ‘just’ to her family, but to the homeless man and all others that her life touches. Like mine. The impact of her heart straight to my heart. This, ABOVE all else, [especially the numbers game] is what makes her the very special person she is.
And YOU! What a supporter, what an encourager. Bless YOU for blessing Michelle [and all her readers] today!
Beautiful! I had the honor of being one of those 200 women whose heart was touched that day. Michelle’s worth goes so far beyond the numbers. This was a great reminder for all of us to look around at the impact we are making in the lives of others and not just focus on performance metrics, both personally and in our work worlds. Thanks, Brad!
This brought tears! Thank you, Brad, for writing this truth so very, very well. And for loving Michelle so well. Her writing is a gift. A gift to her, but through her, to all of us, too. And we are grateful.
Brad, there is no finer boost to a wife’s sense of worth than to hear it publicly expressed by her husband. You have done this so beautifully. I can tell that your sentiments come straight from a heart of love. I suspect that if your boys wrote here, they would they would say the same. Actually, I was in a corridor when I met Michelle at the Jumping Tandem retreat last year, and I benefitted one-on-one from her gracious spirit. I had also heard her workshop on that one-inch writing perspective. In fact, my friends and I were talking about Michelle’s writing and speaking yesterday at my cabin, when we writers met for a fun getaway. Michelle was top on our list as one who wrote many things of worth, and with wit, humor, lyricism, and senstivity. So, yes, we find her worthy. But in the end, what we think really doesn’t matter, but what you do. And you are one fortunate man to be blessed beyond measure by one such worthy woman.
Blessings,
Lynn
PS Thanks to you, I’m putting Moby Dick on my short list, and will eventually let you know what I think.
No kidding, this made me tear up. What a gift for Brad to see you as you truly are, and for us to see how much he loves you:) I’m so glad you decided to push publish on this one, Michelle.
This is beautiful. Michelle’s words have caused me to stop and ponder on more than one occasion. She has a beautiful heart and her love for her family is evident.
What a post full of love, respect and gratitude. Such a blessed woman you are Michelle to have your husband appreciate you and value you so deeply! Brad, thank you for sharing these touching and inspirational words.
Gratefully,
Katie