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Michelle DeRusha

Every Day Faith. Faith Every Day.

October 10, 2014 By Michelle

Joy in Brokenness {and a giveaway of Playdates with God}

PlaydateswithGodcoverIt’s book release season, can you tell? Of all the books I’ve read this summer and fall (and believe me, I’ve read a lot!), the one featured here today, Playdates with God: Having a Childlike Faith in a Grownup World, is one of my very favorites. I read this book several months ago, when the author, my friend Laura Boggess, asked if I might be willing to endorse it. Under a tight deadline, I read it quickly, but I knew I would read it again the moment this book landed in my hands in its final published form. I knew I would read it slowly this time, savoring each beautifully crafted sentence — and that’s exactly what I’ve done over the last two weeks. Laura is a remarkably gifted writer – her words sing off the page, and the images she creates are so lush, so rich, they have the ability to transport you to another place entirely. I am honored and delighted to welcome Laura Boggess to the blog today. Please, sign up for the free giveaway below, but even if you don’t win, give yourself a gift this fall and buy this book.

By Laura Boggess

As I was finishing up the last chapters of my book Playdates with God, Lucy Mae was dying.

It’s a book about joy, about moving closer to God and there I was, wracked with grief over the slow dying of the family pet. This dog had grown up with my boys—ten years she nuzzled their faces and chased after their feet. She was supposed to be around a few more years; she was supposed to keep me company when they left me to go off to college.

LucyMae2

But one day, out of the clear blue, she had a seizure and she never completely recovered. In the daytime hours I would write my book and read the words out loud to her as I’d always done—watching for some recognition in her sweet empty face. In the evenings, my two boys and I would take her for shuffling walks, covering only a sliver of the distance we used to walk in half the time.

Everything slowed and time felt like the cold hand of death slipping under our door.

In truth, nothing seemed right. I was realizing the dream of writing a book but I felt more and more alone each day as I watched the man I love battle clinical depression. He slipped deeper into despair as I stood by helplessly. Our eldest son became involved in a relationship we didn’t approve of. And one evening after music lessons, I rushed our youngest to the ER with what we later determined was a panic attack.

Our once secure and happy family was splintering all around me. What used to be my safe place was becoming a place of uncertainty and fear. Who was I to write a book about a Spirit-led life? The words I had penned just a few short months before when life was blissfully happy seemed to mock me.

And now Lucy Mae was dying. This sweet, innocent creature who had brought so much joy into our household—had brought us together in so many ways—was paying the price of a fallen world.

How could I possibly write about joy in the midst of such brokenness?

As her days drew to a close, Lucy Mae’s sweet life began to give to us in new ways. It was one of the last days and we were walking. She struggled with each step but, oh, how she wanted that walk. Watching her, my two teenage boys were silent. And the deep places in my heart spilled over with pity for our girl.

“Seeing her this way,” I said, “it makes me love her more. Even though it hurts, all I want to do is hold her and let her know we’re here.”

The boys nodded and my youngest picked her up. I watched how tender he was with her, how careful and kind.

“I’m glad for Lucy,” he said, tears threatening. “I wouldn’t trade our time with her for anything.”

I felt something new stir in my chest—a bigger kind of love, a love that doesn’t leave in the midst of pain. And I felt it then: joy. I felt how sorrow carves out room inside a heart to feel deeper, love deeper, and enter deeper into relationship—not only with those we are joined with in life on earth, but with God.

And when I sat down and typed out the final chapters of the book, I was companioned by this rich joy of knowing I will never be alone. This is why we give our love when it would be easier to give up and turn away.

Because a Bigger Kind of Love holds us. Tenderly. A love that wouldn’t trade us for anything.

LauraBoggessAuthor of the newly-released Playdates with God: Having a Childlike Faith in a Grown-up World, Laura Boggess lives in a little valley in West Virginia with her husband and two sons. She is a content editor for TheHighCalling.org and blogs at lauraboggess.com. Connect with Laura on Facebook and Twitter.

PlaydateswithGodcover

{Email subscribers: please click here and scroll to the bottom of the post to enter the book drawing.}

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

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Filed Under: guest posts Tagged With: Laura Boggess, Playdates with God

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For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a Triple Type A, “make it happen” (my dad’s favorite mantra) striver and achiever (I’m a 3 on the Enneagram, which tells you everything you need to know), but these days my striving looks more like sitting in silence on a park bench, my dog at my feet, as I slowly learn to let go of the false selves that have formed my identity for decades and lean toward uncovering who God created me to be.

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