My friend Laura and I were chatting back and forth on Voxer last week, and I mentioned I was basking in a sun spot while I waited to pick up Rowan from school. I know the exact spot in which to sidle my mini-van to the curb so that I can rest with the engine idling and the heat blasting, close my eyes, tip back my head, and feel the sun warm on my face through the driver’s side window. That’s right, I hog the sun spot, every day. I purposefully get there early so I can snag it. I fully realize no other parent knows they are in a race for the rare and coveted sun spot, but I know, oh I know.
Anyway, after I told Laura about my sun spot she Voxed back and said she liked my habit of “finding the sun spots and basking in the light.” Which got me thinking about the unexpected gifts of the wilderness.
I don’t know that I am ordinarily a seeker of sun spots. Don’t get me wrong – I’ll snap up a good sun spot if one comes along, but I don’t typically seek them out. Yet walking through this period of uncertainty and angst these last few months, I find myself seeking these pockets of light through my day. It’s a survival mechanism, I think – to look for moments of unexpected joy, warmth and comfort, tiny oases of shimmering color in an otherwise drab landscape.
Truth be told, not a lot happens in the wilderness. There’s some wandering, some questioning, some discernment, but mostly the wilderness is a time of waiting — waiting for God to reveal his plan, waiting for our circumstances to move in a discernible direction. There’s a lot of hunkering down, like the Israelites did in the desert — passing the time in their tents, waiting for God to lead them in a new direction. Time moves slowly in the wilderness, one day unfurling into the next, and the next, and the next.
I don’t love any of this. I’m a Triple Type A, Take Action kind of girl. Waiting? Hunkering? Abiding? Nope, not in my wheelhouse. Yet here I am – waiting, hunkering, abiding — and I’m discovering there are gifts to seek and embrace and rejoice in, even here. Even in the wilderness.
I think all the slowing, all the hunkering and abiding that goes hand in hand with the wilderness allows us the rare opportunity to slow down and notice. The barrenness of the wilderness compels us to seek out these small pockets of warmth and delight we might not typically have time for in an ordinary season of productivity.
And so I find myself moving toward the sun wherever I can find it on these drab, slow-moving days. On the sofa, with the stark winter light pouring through the dirty panes. In my car, heat blasting, sun streaming between skeleton tree branches. On the front step, the cold of the concrete seeping through the seat of my jeans, the sun warm on my face, chickadees calling from the pine tree.
Q4U: Tell me, where you are seeking and finding tiny oases of light and warmth these days?
Oh my Dear Michelle, I LOVE THIS!!! Your words have brought me light and warmth today. You know that I too am in the wilderness right now. It seems that every winter there is something that works against me, causing not only the winter blues, but sometimes downright depression. I have to work to keep it at bay.
As I sit here in my recliner, laptop perched on my knees, I see the filtered sunshine through mini blinds, on my walls, moving toward one end of my love-seat. I’m just so happy to see the sun, here in my long, cold Canadian winter. I stand each morning on the back stoop as my “Lady Shelbie of West Highland” takes her time, doing her business in a snow-bank outside. IF it’s sunny, I raise my face to absorb the warmth of it. Mainly though, I “hunker down” with a good book, swathed in the forest-green afghan my daughter knit for me. And, of course, Light always come when that Good Book I’m reading is the Bible. His Word soothes what ails me, as I await the springtime.
Praying light and warmth for you today, my Friend.
Waiting right here with you, Jillie. Sending love and prayers, friend.
Like you, I’ve become expert at angling the mini-van to capture the rays of sunshine as I wait in parking lots for busy boys. I’ve come to think of that time as warm, valuable, and productive because it’s when much of my studying and reading gets done. Then there is the warm sharing of truth around a table with the women in my class. Glad to be reminded of these things on a wintery Tuesday!
I always have my book in the mini-van with me, too, so I can snatch a few pages while I catch a few rays. One of my favorite parts of the day. And yes, amen, to the warmth of women sharing together – that is a beautiful picture, Michele!
“waiting for God to reveal his plan, waiting for our circumstances to move in a discernible direction. ” These words jumped out at me. I’ve been wondering why I’ve been waking up between 4 and 430 am lately. Does God want me to pray about something?…no answer…. silence…. I’m that triple A type of girl too . This will be tough but when I wake up again, I’ll wait.
I hear you…I don’t love the waiting. I’ve been waking up early, too — but I know why – my doggie is getting me up! 🙂
The wilderness is such a profound place of revelation and discovery–about ourselves and about God… I tend to look for the sun spots, I don’t thrive when I’m too far from the light. I’m so glad you’ve found a warm spot along your journey. You bless me with your faithfulness. Xo
Love you, Kris.
Oh, the beauty of that blue glass! Thank you Michelle for your pics, for your words, for your heart. We have a window seat with a southern exposure. It feels so soothing to sit there and soak up the sunshine streaming in. The Psalms are another comfort and balm to me.
“…, I find myself seeking these pockets of light…- to look for moments of unexpected joy, warmth and comfort, tiny oases of shimmering color in an otherwise drab landscape.”
Grateful for you sharing from your thoughts, for you ministering with your prose.
Katie
I’ve always wanted a window seat, Katie – a wee bit jealous of that! 🙂
Light, warmth, God’s love shining down on us! Michelle, your words were so comforting to read this morning. This day of celebration, Shrove Tuesday is being celebrated by God as well shining down on us his glorious love through his creation the Sun!
Glimpses of snowflakes melting off the trees maybe is a sign of the melting of our dry wilderness path into a wet flowing moisture filled path of words and wisdom!
I wanted to take a minute to tell you I am excited about your newsletter forth coming. Can’t wait to read it.
I need to look up “Shrove Tuesday” – I’ve been seeing that today, but I’m not sure what it means (something related to Mardi Gras or the day before the start of Lent, I assume).
And thank you for your enthusiasm over the newsletter. I just sent out the first one yesterday, so I think you’ll have to wait till March for the next one, since I think you signed up today? I’ll try to email you the “back issue” if I can.
I find the pauses in the busyness to be refreshing. Just taking a few minutes to stare out my office window. Allowing myself a day off without producing. planning a vacation away from all this snow and winter. tiny moments that bring light to my soul
Thank you for shining your light into this day, Michelle, reminding us to slow down and look with wonder at those things we could have missed if we are too busy in our day. Your photos are beautiful, too!
Blessings!
wonderful photos and just love the stringing of your words today- what a blessing
I love this Michelle. We share this same outcome from a wilderness season. I’ve been captivated by light for months, snapping random photos.
when the mail is the most exciting part of your day because you just don’t know what to do with these days. In the beginning i kept asking my friend what am i suppose to do. I wasn’t hearing from God and we sometimes assume we are suppose to leap from one project to another. No one ever teaches you how to wait and rest. Mental note for adult sunday school teachers this makes a good topic. we just dont know how to wait, abide, rest and generally be slow. i keep thinking every new thing this is it then i will move on the more permanent goal but it keeps eluding me. I just want my normal back. I have worked 4 temporary jobs and cant seem to pass that test i need to get the job i want that keeps eluding me after the three years of school after the broken foot after the loss of a job i have been praying to move on from. Be careful what you pray for just keep waiting for his voice.
I absolutely know how you feel, Joni. Every time I felt like there was momentum moving in the right direction these past few months, I’ve thought, “Aha! THIS is what God’s going to do!” And then, when the situation didn’t turn out as I’d expected or hoped, I ended up feeling disappointed and confused…and frustrated with what seemed like myriad dead ends. I’m with you friend, in the waiting and the hoping. And I will keep you in my prayers as we walk this journey together.
Needed this today, friend.
By the way, has anyone told you that you’re a fantastic photographer?
Thank you, Megan!
I wrote this poem, capturing a sunny moment with an older woman on the 2nd fl. of the nursing home I worked at, I started seriously writing poems years later. This will be the first poem in my book “Vignettes on Life from birth to one hundred and two” – which I hope to publish in the next year:
Contentment in a Sunbeam
The sun on my shoulders is warmer than a stole, a comfort to the spirit and warmth to my soul.
Reading my book, I see the words with such clarity, a quiet spot away from the crowd to be enjoyed gratefully.
That is just beautiful, Christine — you captured perfectly in one sentence what took me a whole blog post to say! : )
So lovely, so true. the pictures are FAB.
Hello Michelle,
I just found your blog today.
I enjoyed this so much. It’s my wilderness time, too, as I wait for strength to return after Stage 3 cancer and its treatment. Along the way, the chemo caused Congestive Heart Failure, so my days are s-l-o-w. I’m learning to “be”, not to “do”. And I’m also learning. So much. To let go the “shoulds”. To pursue joy.
It’s good to have leisure to reflect and to search out new directions in Self-care. To learn the lessons of this season of life thoroughly and well. Not to waste the opportunity to grow. To refill the well so there will be abundant overflow for others later. To everything there is a season.
There is a reason for the Biblical rhythm of work and rest, of the Sabbath, of the Jubilee, of the feasting. We need the times of refreshment. He leads us by still waters. He feeds us in green pastures. He makes us lie down. He restores our souls.
I find that Starbucks is my “happy place” where I can just sit with a latte and read or journal, among people, but still enjoying the sun and the solitude. The baristas are the sweetest and I have met wonderful customers, too. It’s a place where everyone knows my name and they’re always glad I came.
Thank you for such a thought provoking post. One of the hymn writers wrote: “Drop Thy still dews of quietness ’til all our striving cease. Take from our souls the strain and stress and let our ordered lives confess the beauty of Thy peace.”
God bless you with His Peace.
Honey Bee