Four times a year Emily Freeman hosts the seasonal What I’ve Learned, and this week it’s time for the Winter Edition. Here are a few silly and serious things (okay, mainly silly) I’ve learned these last three months.
Welcome Back, Retro Clock Radio
At some point a year or two ago I switched out my trusty clock-radio on my bedside table for my smart phone. I didn’t love the look of the digital clock, and I figured why not simply use the alarm function on my phone. The problem was, I have zero self-control when it comes to “just one quick check” of my email before clicking off the light. Most nights, the “one quick check” would spiral into 20 minutes of scrolling Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. By the time I set my head on the pillow for actual sleep, my mind was a jumble of thoughts, facts and anxieties.
These days I park my phone at the charging station downstairs, set my bedside clock radio alarm to NPR and read anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour before drifting into a peaceful, more restful sleep. Turns out, using my circa-1998 digital clock radio for my alarm instead of my smart phone is much better for my brain and my body.
And Speaking of My Phone…
Turns out, I’m on it a lot more often than I thought (Jesus is rolling his eyes at that statement). After hearing about the free Quality Time app on the By the Book podcast, I downloaded and installed it on my phone to measure how much time I’m actually on my phone in any given 24-hour period. So far my week averages are: 12 hours, 8 minutes (week one); 14 hours, 14 minutes (week two); 20 hours, 1 minute (week three). Yes, I have noticed that my weekly phone usage has nearly doubled since installing the app. This is my long-dormant rebel side kicking in.
So far it seems I spend the majority of my phone time on Instagram (4 hours in one week – yikes!), Voxer and text messaging, followed by my podcast app and Audible (I am training for a half marathon, so I’m listening to more podcasts and audio books than usual), Gmail, Facebook and Google maps (I can barely get to the grocery store without Google maps).
What I’ve learned from the Quality Time app has been illuminating. That said, I don’t have any plans to curtail my phone usage. I did, however, install it on my kids’ phones. [insert maniacal laughter here]
Morning Pages Aren’t So Bad
A few years ago I picked up Julie Cameron’s The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity at my local library, but I didn’t even get halfway through it. At the time I considered it a bunch of woo-woo bunk and promptly tossed it into the book drop. Fast-forward to this month when, after struggling with writer’s block and a general lack of creative energy for the past six months, I retrieved The Artist’s Way from the library again, and this time, it resonated, particularly Cameron’s practice of morning pages.
The premise of morning pages is deceptively simple: write three long-hand, stream-of-consciousness pages first thing in the morning. There are no rules or restrictions. You can write about anything and everything, even the angry, petty, whiny, boring stuff (especially the angry, petty, whiny, boring stuff), and if you get stuck, you simply write “I don’t have anything to write about” again and again until you get unstuck.
Cameron calls the morning pages “the primary tool of creative recovery.” She argues that writing out all the junk allows us to “get to the other side — the other side of our fear, of our negativity, of our moods, and above all, of our Censor.”
Like I’ve said, I’ve been skeptical, but this time around, for whatever reason, I am finding morning pages to be a fruitful practice. I don’t know how this practice will ultimately impact my professional writing and creativity (or even if it will), but I do know this stream-of-consciousness writing has unearthed some stuff that feels important and that I will have to spend some time processing and unpacking, which is bound to be beneficial to my life as a whole, as well, perhaps, to my writing life.
Bifocals Are the Bane
For the last year or so I’ve had to depend more and more on my Target readers, not just for reading but also for such basic tasks as eating (blurry food, anyone?) and filling my coffeepot to the proper four-cup water mark. Thus, I decided it was time for Big Girl Glasses (aka bifocals). I got my swanky new pair last week, but the trouble is, the reading portion of the lenses is, like, 1 mm wide. It’s like reading while looking through a drinking straw. I have to hold my head at the exact right angle and the book at the exact right angle and heavens must align perfectly and then maybe, maybe, I will see actual words.
Seriously, you should see me read a book these days. It’s like I am a watching a tennis match, back and forth, back and forth, one word at a time through my drinking straw eyeglasses.. The optical experts have insisted that I “give it time,” and that my “eyes will adjust.” In the meantime, though, I am lurching around Lincoln, careening off curbs, catapulting into coffee tables and reading like I’m watching the Williams sisters volley it out at Wimbledon. Adjust schmust.
I Am Officially Middle-Aged
It’s not just the bifocals that cued me in to this fact. A couple of months ago, a young woman in the marketing department at work asked me if she could photograph me because she “needed my face.” Initially I was flattered…until I realized that what she was really saying, in her sweet, twenty-something way, was that I fit the demographic she needed, which was “middle-aged lady.” Later, when I saw the ginormous spread in the member magazine (note to self: next time ASK HOW PHOTO WILL BE USED), it looked suspiciously like they had added some gray “highlights” to my already gray-enough hair!
Seriously, did they not make me grayer? People, they made me grayer! Is this even legal? (they also whitened my teeth, but I am totes okay with that)
That’s it for me – basically this winter I’ve learned that I am old and can be made to look even older. What about you? Tell me about one thing (or five) you’ve learned, and be sure to stop by Emily’s place to read some more What I’ve Learned posts – they are fun!
I belong to a Writer’s Collective Group at my local library. I appreciate the writer’s prompts – we have about 10 minutes to write and then we read it aloud and everyone around the group comments. I enjoy a great sense of community with our mixed group of writers and am in awe at the variety that comes out.
Having worked in a nursing home for years, I joked about getting gray hair due to peer pressure. Lately I am noticing more young people in their 20’s/30’s with dyed gray hair. My nephew’s wife dyed hers gray (with mauve highlights) for their wedding.
My cellphone use will never get close to yours – as I started using it at age 60. It informs me when I have neglected it for 24 hours. I found it most useful when my kids are traveling, yet after my daughter was in Spain for some reason I am now getting calls from around the world – Belarus, Tunisia, Somalia. The phone company suggested I change my number, but I don’t feel like it. I have the ringtone turned down most of the time. I use it for photography (as I lost my small point/shoot camera last year), texting my kids. I find in the past – many people who read their e-mails on their phones – don’t read them as thoroughly as they do if they read them on their computer.
Getting used to new glasses (and for me a small denture – something I resisted in the past – but I couldn’t go the route of dental implants) are a challenge at first – but are still much more helpful to the alternative. On our “Coldest Night of the Year” fundraiser walk (it actually happened on a pleasant night) we met a person living on the street who had few teeth – even if he was given false teeth – he would have no place to regularly clean and care for them.
I so enjoyed reading about all you have learned lately, Michelle, and I must admit, I found myself chuckling at the middle-aged stuff and the readers. I can’t tell you how long I’ve had mine! And if I didn’t get blonde highlights in my hair about every three months, I’d be gray, too. Lol! Fortunately, I do not spend too much time on my phone. For one thing, it’s almost impossible to read blogs on it (think I need stronger glasses?); I much prefer my PC, on which I probably hang out way too much. But at least I stand when working on the computer. Does that count? 🙂
Blessings!
I laughed about seeing your food and bumping into things. I wear trifocals and I’m constantly looking through the wrong lens. My problem is I see find at normal distances, it’s reading and driving at night that I need to wear them. The height of the middle lense is way to small, that I end up taking the glasses off in order to walk down steps, and not loose my balance.
I doodle around in Photoshop, so I understand the tricks and touch ups, they pull to make a subject look the way want for their spread. Good or bad, you learn, in magazines, nobody looks exactly like themselves. That said, I think you look great, grey hair and all. This from a women who’s age had her sign up for Medicare this year.
I love these kinds of posts that Emily encourages . . . great bullet-point reminders of life’s ups and downs, pain and pleasure, etc. One can always explore them further in one’s journal. Another thing (just as an aside) that I did for a year, skipped last year, and am reinstituting this year, is turning the monthly calendar overview in my planner to a kind of memory-collage page once the month is complete. I glue down words, images, and/or photos which serve as memory-at-a-glance reminders of that month in my personal history. It’s been really encouraging for the most part–and fun–to review. Sometimes the word or image represents what I’ve learned or what my goal was for that month. It shows me I have a life worth living. 🙂
As for lessons, I’ve learned to face fear head-on, and just yesterday to be a truth teller to someone about feelings that have been festering between us for years, but unexpressed to each other (yet, by gossip to everyone else). I finally lanced the tensional wounds w/ this person. It was extremely painful, but a good kind of pain. I think there is far more lancing to do, but I’ve learned not to stuff negative emotions anymore, allowing cuts to fester, but to come clean and tell truth in love, as did she.
Re: your swanky big-girl glasses and adorable midlife face (which looks from this side of the computer to be about 25–remember that hair-frosting is for any age, and women pay big bucks to garner that effect)!…. anyway, Michelle, I know you have paid gaboodles for these, but honestly, mine drove me nuts. Next time you order a new pair of specks, you might consider progressive lenses. I adore mine. Not everyone can adjust (though many do), and it took me very little time to do so. But you are able to see through the whole lens, w/o that maddening trying to focus on a tiny square, and you simply gently tip your head to adjust. There is an infinite range of views in these. Just a thought.
Keep learning, keep writing, keep sharing. You know I’m an eager learner and reader of anything you write. And I just like you, sweet Michelle.
Onward for 2018 (yikes! Sounds positively futuristic)!
Lynn
I LOVE when you write this type of post! Yay! 🙂 So much goodness here. (And OH MY WORD, it looks like they did add gray to your hair in the pic, but no matter – whatever color hair, you look FABULOUS!). I loved The Artist’s Way years ago in my 20s, but never wrote the Morning Pages – I agree that they are so helpful! I’m actually getting my act together and working on my FIRST BOOK (Lord, HOLD ME), and freewriting and journaling have always helped me prime my writing pump. I’ve also thought for awhile that I need to replace my phone by my bed with an actual clock – thank you for the inspiration and kick-in-the-pants to do so. (I’m also downloading the timer app you recommended.). I’m SO EXCITED for your next book (I’m dying of curiosity to learn about its subject matter!) – glad you are having a lovely winter! (I’m jealous of your snow – Dallas/Fort Worth hasn’t had any for too long. I’m probably also the only person I know who is jealous of cold and snow.) Ha! Blessings and Hugs, my friend!
Ha ha! You made me laugh so hard reading this. Welcome to middle age and making me feel good about it too.
Hye Michelle,
All I can say is that I ditto all of the above, about the clock, your phone, your hair, your glasses, do go and get Progressive lenses and lose the lines, your eyes will adjust easily, I even got a larger space for computer use, didn’t know they could do that. I don’t have a cell so I don’t have that issue, but I do spend way too much time on the laptop. I could probly use the app on it but not sure they have one. I was going to go right offline for Lent, live like 1953 but then I set up daily readings for Lent, so do we think I’m working against myself? My little Chihuahua was diagnosed with diabetes this month and I had to have her put to sleep. Tasha was 8 but I’d only had her for 1 1/2 yrs so it was just not long enough. I’ve learned from this that my heart can be torn to shreds over a little being, 10 lbs and 3″ legs, huge energy and personality, in a very short period of time. She came into my life shortly after I had to release my 16 yr old Shih Tzu to eternity. It’s been too much and I’m having a lot of trouble dealing with these babies little lives. Today, March 12th is my first dog’s birthday so it feels like it just never ends. I’ve learned so much from this month I might not have to have any more months. Thanks for your impressive words.