giving

Why a Small Gesture Makes a World of Difference {a story of the warm cookie angel}

October 4, 2017 By Michelle

One day a few weeks ago, as I was staring out the sunroom windows into the middle distance, ostensibly “working,” I spotted The Warm Cookie car idling in front of my house.

Let’s pause right here for a moment of silence to appreciate that there is such thing as a Warm Cookie delivery service in Lincoln, Nebraska. It’s true. You can order a dozen chocolate chip, snickerdoodle, butterscotch oatmeal chocolate chip, or any other number of flavors, and they will deliver a box of cookies still warm from the oven right to your door. You can even add a pint of milk or a single serving of vanilla ice cream with your delivery.

Jesus himself came up with this concept, I am sure of it. In between changing water into wine and distributing fish and bread to the multitudes, he trademarked The Warm Cookie.

Anyway, when I saw the Warm Cookie car idling in front of my house, my heart leapt. I’d never been the lucky recipient of a box of Warm Cookies, and I thought my time had finally come.

Alas, it hadn’t. My heart broke as the car accelerated past my house and turned into my neighbor’s driveway. No warm cookies for me.

I posted my disappointment on Facebook, received much empathy for my cookielessness state, and promptly forgot about the whole incident.

Four days later, I was having a terrible-no-good-very-bad day. You know the kind. My writing projects were backlogged at work. I sucked up the vacuum cord, shorted out the vacuum and nearly electrocuted myself in the process. My kids needed to be in two different places at the same time. And I’d just found out my closest friend was moving 1,500 miles away. That kind of day.

Walking in the door after my hour-long commute, I dropped my bags on the living room floor and slumped into the kitchen. And that’s when I saw it. There on the counter sat a cardboard box wrapped in a raffia bow, nestled inside of which were a dozen warm cookies. I read the card: “I wanted The Warm Cookie car to stop at your house.” It was from Kimberly.

Warm cookie in hand, I immediately Voxed my friend Kimberly in New Jersey, gushing into the phone, detailing the terrible-no-good-very-badness of my day and thanking her for her kindness.

But here’s the clincher: the warm cookies weren’t from my friend Kimberly. She messaged me back a little while later, sheepishly admitting that though she would love to take credit for the idea, the surprise delivery was not from her.

Here’s the second clincher: to my knowledge, I do not know any other Kimberlys. Mystified, I called The Warm Cookie, explaining my conundrum and why I hoped to track down the giver. Turns out, The Warm Cookie company had no record of a Michelle as a recipient nor a Kimberly as a giver.

I call her the Cookie Angel now, the mysterious Kimberly who gave me a reason to smile on a terrible-no-good-very-bad day. And as I write this, I’m thinking, wouldn’t it be fun to make this a thing? To launch a Pay it Forward Warm Cookie Angel Campaign? As far as I can see, the world could really use some snickerdoodles right now.

In all seriousness, though – we would all do well to remember the lasting and powerful effect of the small but meaningful gesture. Maybe it’s a handwritten note slipped into the mail. Or a bouquet of zinnias snipped from your garden. Or a lively greeting along your daily exercise route. As Mother Teresa so famously said, “We can’t all do great things. But we can all do small things with great love.”

Thank you, Kimberly the Cookie Angel. Your small thing turned around my bad day and made me smile all week (and my kids were pretty happy about it too).

When More Is Not Enough {and a giveaway!}

September 22, 2014 By Michelle

When More is Not Enough3

I’ve known Amy Sullivan a good long while now, and though I’ve never met her in person (is it weird to say that’s on my bucket list?), I admire her, respect her and downright love her. Amy’s heart for giving is incredible. What’s more, she doesn’t just think about giving and serving; she doesn’t just write about giving and serving; she does it. And Amy does something else that’s both challenging and at the same time hugely inspiring and encouraging: she gets her family involved, too.

So Amy’s gone and written a book – because she clearly doesn’t have enough on her plate as an educator, mother, wife and God-servant extraordinaire, right? I sat down one afternoon and read When More is Not Enough – How to Stop Giving Your Kids What They Want and Give Them What They Need in a single sitting , and I have to tell you, this book is good, friends — really, really good! Amy is funny, authentic and so, so relatable. She gives you the whole story of what it’s like to begin to change the culture in her household from “me, me, me” to a more serving focus, and it’s not always pretty or perfect. You’ll laugh at her foibles, you’ll nod along with her frustrations and challenges, but most importantly, you’ll come away with an invigorated passion for serving and giving, along with concrete, hands-on suggestions for how to gently and but definitively change the culture in your own household.

Oh, and by the way, Amy’s proceeds from sales of this book will be donated to a non-profit called Transformation Village, in her home state of North Carolina (more about that in the interview below). I know. I told you she was the bee’s knees!

I recently had the opportunity to ask Amy a few questions about her book and her family’s giving and serving philosophy. Enjoy this interview, and then scroll down to watch the book trailer AND register for a chance to win a copy of When More is Not Enough.

Q: If you could suggest one place to start with cultivating a giving/serving family, where would that be? I guess a better way to ask the question is: where do we even begin?

Amy: Easy peasy. Start where you are. Start where you live. The easiest way to begin serving others is by interacting with the community around you. Getting to know your neighbors, finding out what that woman down the street is passionate about, listening to an 82-year-old’s story, being present. I’m constantly shocked at how many needs surround our family, especially needs of people we know.

Q. Tell us a little bit about the non-profit organization you are donating book proceeds to. Why is it special to you?

Amy: My mother had me when she was barely nineteen. In addition to taking full time classes, my mom worked morning shifts at the university cafeteria, nights as a waitress, and weekends as a tour guide. Plus, she parented. Life was not easy, and I’ve always wanted to help other moms who struggle. The proceeds I make from When More is Not Enough are going to a project in Western North Carolina called Transformation Village. Transformation Village is a housing development my community is rallying to build. Transformation Village will house women who are veterans, single mothers and children, and families in crisis in North Carolina. It’s much different than a shelter in that it will focus on providing more than a meal and some clothes. Instead, Transformation Village will focus on providing a way for people to truly better themselves by offering counseling, mentoring, job training, and additional education.

Q. What’s the most creative service project you’ve done with your family?

Amy: I can take zero credit for our most creative service project. A nail polish stand was the brainchild of our oldest daughter. My husband and I discouraged our girl as she and a friend lined-up rainbow colors on a plastic tablecloth and stationed themselves on a corner in our neighborhood, but cars and walkers just kept coming.

nailpolishstand

Q. Tell us about a family service initiative that completely bombed? {make us feel better!}

Amy: I invited thirty people over to make shoes out of milk cartons and jeans. This was an obvious mistake for those who know me. The milk cartons stunk, the kids traced the wrong patterns, our two pair of dull scissors barely cut, and zero shoes were made. This was clearly a case of me getting sucked into a cool online video with great music, and ignoring the fact that I have zero crafting ability and therefore, it is not possible for me to lead a group of thirty in making shoes.

Q. What do you hope is the one definitive take-away readers will glean from When More is Not Enough?

Amy: Serving others is more than a series of tasks. It’s a way of life. It’s learning to love others the way God loves us.

Amy Sullivan Headshot For the past two years, Amy L. Sullivan looked harder, loved stronger, and discovered more by fixing her gaze on something other than the person staring back at her in the mirror. Amy writes for oodles of print and online publications and loves speaking with groups of any size. Connect with her online at AmyLSullivan.com.

{Email readers: please click here and scroll down to the bottom of the post if you’d like to enter the giveaway for a chance to win a copy of When More Is Not Enough}

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For The Times You Say to Yourself, “I’ve Done Enough.”

May 7, 2014 By Michelle

homelesscanyouhelp Two weeks ago I rolled down my mini-van window at the exit of SuperSaver’s parking lot and handed three dollars to the man with the cardboard sign and the dilapidated back pack. When the light turned green, my son Rowan and I continued on with our Saturday morning errands. At our next stop, a different man stood at the corner of Barnes and Noble. This time I drove past without stopping.

“Why didn’t you give money to that guy?” Rowan asked from the backseat, leaning forward to meet my eyes in the rearview mirror. “Why’d you give money to the first guy and not the second guy?”

“I can’t give money to everyone, you know,” I snapped over my shoulder. “I already gave money. I’ve done enough for one day.”

“Well that sounds greedy to me,” Rowan replied. “Especially because I know you have money in your wallet.”

Although I thought of a few choice words to retort, I didn’t say anything more to Rowan. But I did fume all the way home. The reason I was so angry, of course, was that I knew he’d made a good point.

I’d considered circling back to the Barnes and Noble parking lot and handing three more crumpled bills out the window, but I’d dismissed the thought. I was busy. I had other errands to run; I didn’t have time for another homeless man.

Plus, I reasoned, it’s not like I’d done nothing. After all, I’d given to one homeless man. I’d already done enough.

I realize dispensing dollar bills on street corners may not be the most efficient outreach strategy. My point here is not to debate how to best care for our city’s homeless population, but to illustrate another issue altogether. You see, my problem that day wasn’t my inaction, per se, but my attitude.

My “I’ve done enough” attitude was a red flag — a sign I had, as James warned, let the world’s values corrupt me.

The world tells me the man on the corner is a drunk or an addict or just plain lazy, someone not worthy of my attention, my compassion or my money.

The world tells me he’s made bad choices and deserves his lot.

The world tells me not to bother, because he’ll spend my three dollars on Jack Daniels or meth anyway.

The world tells me that if I’ve already done something, then I’m good; I’ve done “my part;” I’ve done enough.

But God tells me something radically different.

God tells me it doesn’t matter who I think is worthy of my attention, my compassion or my money. He tells me to care for those in need, period — without judgment and without assurance that the money will be spent in an appropriate way.

God tells me I don’t need to know for sure whether the homeless many will make good use of my money or not.

God tells me I am not to judge.

God tells me that those who are in need are, in fact, my problem.

God tells me to care for the needy first and myself last.

I’m sure this won’t be the last time I pass by a homeless man and look the other way, because the fact is, God’s message of compassion and self-sacrifice is difficult to follow consistently. But I also know that when I ignore his message, I allow the worst of religion — judgment and exclusivity — to overpower the best in me.

What about you? Have you ever thought to yourself, “I’ve done enough”?

This post originally ran last month in the Lincoln Journal Star. I’m reposting it today because I can’t seem to string together a single compelling sentence these days!

On Valentine’s Day, Let’s Plant Seeds of Love {#veggiesforAfrica}

February 14, 2014 By Michelle

It’s a little hard to imagine right now as the snow blankets the back yard and the garden lays quiet. A few browned squash vines and sunflower stems poke through the drifts. I watch from the window as a fierce wind blows the dried fountain grass fronds, crisp tips tickling the frozen ground. Images of lush lettuces, vibrant zinnias, radishes pushing their ruby heads through loamy soil are but a distant memory.

Come mid-March, though, the work will begin. Brad and the boys will head to the raised beds, rakes and hoes and pitch forks in hand. They’ll turn over the dirt, burying decaying leaves and stems, pat the soil smooth with their palms, and drop seeds one by one into the earth as the sun warms their bent backs. And then we’ll wait, checking the beds each day to glimpse those first tender shoots push through the dirt.

Planting the garden is a much-cherished ritual for us each spring. As February inches glacially from one grey day to the next we grow impatient, eager to plunge our hands into soil that still holds winter’s chill. Eager to scrub the dirt from beneath our fingernails, to smell the earthy scent of rain and worms and birthing green.

But while planting the garden is eagerly awaited and anticipated, it’s not by any stretch a necessity. It’s not a lifeline for us. We have SuperSaver for that, with its pyramids of cauliflower and leeks, its aisles lined floor to ceiling with jars of salsa to suit every palette, cereals and breakfast bars and pasta and beans and breads and bottles of juice.

My family doesn’t need a garden. We have one because it’s fun.

It goes without saying that this is not the case for most of the world’s population. Most of the people around our globe need a garden, not for fun, not for entertainment, not because it’s hip and “earthy-friendly” to grow your own food, but to survive.

Meet Lisa-Jo Baker. Lisa-Jo was born and raised in South Africa, a place where a large percentage of the population struggles every day to survive. Her extended family lives there, including her dad, a doctor, her stepmom and her three adopted siblings. Lisa-Jo’s siblings are from Pretoria, South Africa, in an area called Maubane, where about 150 adults and 250 orphans and vulnerable children meet on an open plot of land every week for church, for meals, for play.

And these family and friends of Lisa-Jo, these people she loves from this place that runs deep in her veins? They need a community garden. They need a garden to survive and thrive.

Some of the 250 kids who live at Maubane, most of whom are orphans.

Lisa-Jo and her dad, Peter. In every single picture I’ve seen of her dad, he’s always smiling…just like his daughter.

Last year Lisa-Jo partnered with her beautiful blog community and Pure Charity to raise more than $5,000 (in 12 hours flat!) to build a community water point in Maubane. This is the water that will sustain the community garden, the next phase of the Maubane Community Center project in South Africa.

And this, friends, is where YOU come in.

Will you help the people of Maubane raise the $5,000 needed to create this community garden, a garden that will sustain and nurture the lives of 400 people?

This is what the land looks like right now – this is where the community garden will go.

And this is what the community garden will look like after we go to town on this project, friends! {this is a picture of similar community garden project in South Africa}

This garden will produce spinach, beans, tomatoes, carrots, corn and soya — enough to feed the entire community as well as be a source of sales income. Your contribution will help cover the cost of farm tools, fencing to keep out cattle, irrigation equipment, training and vegetables and seeds to plant. Every donation will help, no matter how small, because every part of this project is needed right now – from the largest tractor to the tiniest seed.

So what do you say? It’s Valentine’s Day, right? Let’s do this thing! Let’s spread the love beyond chocolates and conversation hearts and Hallmark cards. Let’s plant seeds of love 9,600 miles away in Maubane, South Africa!

Today, on Valentine’s Day, let’s fall in love with the world next door.

Ok, now. If you’re Triple Type A like me and you like the nitty-gritty, here are a few more details about the Maubane Community Center Project. The overall goal is to have not just the garden but the entire Maubane Community Center fully funded ($150,000!) by Mother’s Day. So if veggies aren’t your thing, feel free to learn more about and donate to another phase that strikes your fancy.

Phase 1: Community Vegetable Garden

Phase 2: Community Kitchen and Welcome Center

Phase 3: Community Outreach Hall

Phase 4: 12 Classrooms

Phase 5: Playground

So? Are you in? I thought so! *Thank you*

Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday: Skimming versus Digging

November 24, 2013 By Michelle

“I think we’ve given enough,” I announce to Brad early Sunday morning as I hold my church’s stewardship campaign brochure open in my hand. I rattle off the charities we’ve supported and the donations we’ve made to the church in the last year. It feels significant, impressive even. I give myself a smug little pat on the back, satisfied with my generosity. I feel Jesus-y, and it feels good.

…until I read this week’s lesson about the widow who drops two small coins – everything she has – into the offering plate.

“I tell you the truth,” says Jesus, “this poor widow has given more than all the rest of them. For they have given a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she has.” (Luke 21:3-4).

We don’t particularly like this story, do we? I know I don’t, because every time I read it, I see myself in the rich giver. My giving smacks of self-righteousness. My giving allows me to pretend I am sacrificing, when in fact, I am simply skimming off the top.

Jesus sees the difference between the substantial offerings of the rich people versus the seemingly paltry offering made by the widow. The wealthy gave from their surplus – their donation, though outwardly generous, didn’t really impact their standard of living or their bottom line, nor did it seem to come from the heart. The widow, on the other hand, made a true sacrifice. Though her gift seemed small, those two coins were everything she had. Those two coins were the most generous gift she could possibly make, and she gave it all.

The rich skimmed the surface of their surplus, even though they had plenty. The widow dug deep and gave everything, even though she lacked.

I don’t think Jesus necessarily instructs us to give every penny and our last dollar to the church. Rather, I think he asks us to look at our motives for and methods of giving.

When we give, do we consider God first, and then ourselves?

When we give, do we offer God our leftovers, or do we give him our first fruits?

When we give, are we doing so to feel good about ourselves and our own Jesus-y generosity?

Are we giving because we want to, or because we feel that we have to?

Consider again the gifts made by the wealthy and the widow in this story.

One donor fed his own ego. The other donor fed the Lord.

And then ask yourself this: what kind of giver am I?

Questions for Reflection:
Let’s get honest: who are you in this story, the rich giver, contributing from your surplus, or more like the widow, giving generously from the heart? And if you’re like me, feeling uncomfortably more like the rich giver, what’s one way you can move a little closer toward the kind of generosity the widow displays?

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