God talk: talking to kids about God

What To Do When Your Kids Don’t Believe (Right Now)

October 7, 2014 By Michelle 11 Comments

Rowan in water

If you are popping in from the lovely Ann Voskamp’s place, welcome! I’m so glad you are visiting, and I hope you find a bit to enjoy around these parts. I am smiling at the opportunity to meet some new friends today, so feel free to say hello in the comments!

“I think I’m in a not-believing-in-God stage,” he declares, holding his fork high in the air over his dinner plate like Lady Liberty’s torch.

It’s an ordinary dinner hour.

The four of us sit around the dining room table, plates of mashed potatoes and meatloaf set before us on the polished oak.

The kid’s trying hard to sound nonchalant, but as I peer around the vase and meet his wide, unblinking eyes across the table, I can tell my son is afraid.

I lay my own fork down next to my plate.

I’m not sure I’m breathing.

The truth is, a declaration like this can stop you dead in your tracks, fork frozen mid-air…

…What I really want to do is jump up and down and shout, “I’m at Ann Voskamp’s place, I’m at Ann Voskamp’s place! ” but I will try to maintain a shred of dignity and simply invite you over to Ann Voskamp’s blog to read a guest post I am delighted to have over there today. Thanks, friends…

Bible in the Bathroom

January 31, 2014 By Michelle 19 Comments

I call it Bible in the Bathroom.

When I heard a well-known Christian speaker mention that she writes a verse or two on a three-by-five card and tapes it over the bathroom sink, I thought I’d give it a try. I admit, I was desperate. Every one of my previous attempts to introduce regular Bible study into our family’s routine had flopped. Badly.

At dinnertime I’d tried reading a verse or two with a brief commentary geared toward children. The kids pronounced it boring after a week.

I’d experimented with various Advent and Lent devotional booklets, even some that included games and other gimmicks, but their eyes glazed over by the third day.

I’d tried scripture straight-up — an Old Testament story or one of the more interesting parables — but the boys preferred to discuss Minecraft over their macaroni and cheese.

My husband Brad wasn’t keen on the idea of Bible in the Bathroom. He suggested I might want to peel the scotch-taped index card off the tile and stash it in the cabinet when we had guests over for dinner.

“I’m not taking it down just because we have guests,” I announced, all high and mighty, standing in the living room with my hands on my hips.

“But think how you would have reacted just a few years ago if you’d spotted a Bible verse taped over someone’s bathroom sink,” he reminded me.

True. I would have deemed the person a creepy, freaky Bible banger, remembered suddenly that I had a “dentist appointment” and made a beeline for the front door.

Honestly, I’m no good at evangelizing. I’m about as likely to inquire if you’ve accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior as I am to ask what size pants you wear. Still, I decided to try Bible in the Bathroom for one reason: I want to introduce my kids to the Bible in a way that didn’t feel like a burden or punishment to them.

I didn’t talk about the verses with the boys, except to suggest they might want to read the card while they brushed their teeth. I didn’t expound on the scripture or explain why I chose the particular verses. I simply taped a card to the tile and changed it out once a week. At the very least, I figured, it gave me something to ponder while I flossed my teeth and plucked my eyebrows.

One morning a few weeks into the project, my son Noah turned to me, toothbrush in hand, as I gathered towels for the wash. “You know,” he said, leaning to spit into the sink, “sometimes I think about these Bible verses when I’m at school. Sometimes they help me worry less.” A couple of weeks later, Rowan began to remind me when it was time to change out the verse.

Clearly a softer, subtler approach to Bible study is the best option for my kids right now. As much as I want to dig into the parables and discuss deep questions with them over dinner, they aren’t ready for or interested in that. They may grow into it…they may not. Right now, though, I’m glad that a few words from the Bible occasionally offer them a little light to see by as they walk through their days.

What about you? Do you have any tips for doing Bible study with kids?

*This post ran last Saturday in the Lincoln Journal Star.

Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday {Wednesday}: It’s Not Supposed to Be Easy

September 18, 2013 By Michelle 17 Comments

“Mommy,” Rowan asked, all wide eyes and furrowed brow, “If God asked you to kill me, would you do it?”

Rowan was about five, and we were reading his children’s Bible for the first time, the Bible I’d hoped would skirt around some of the more difficult, unsavory issues. As we finished the story of Abraham and Isaac, I realized that wasn’t going to be the case.

“Well,” I answered, “I’m pretty sure I don’t have the kind of trust Abraham had. So no, I wouldn’t. I would tell God ‘no.’” I reassured Rowan that God wouldn’t actually have let Abraham go through with it, but was merely testing Abraham’s faith.

I gave Rowan the answer he wanted to hear. But I also gave the answer I knew was true. The fact is, even in matters far less grave than the sacrifice of a child, I often don’t obey God’s will. I look for the easy way out instead.

I know I’m inclined to explain away or talk around some of the more challenging stories in the Bible, in order to make them less challenging, less disturbing.

I tell myself the story of Abraham and Isaac doesn’t apply to me. I needn’t worry about having to make a choice like that, because that was the Old Testament God. Now that we have Jesus, I reassure myself, God doesn’t ask us to make choices like that.

Even with some of the New Testament stories – like the parable of the rich young man, for example – I tell myself Jesus isn’t being literal, but is merely offering an example as a metaphorical illustration.

But I’m kidding myself. In re-writing and re-interpreting some of the tougher stories in the Bible, I am letting myself off the hook. I’m trying to skate by, to get off easy. I want to be a “good Christian,” sure, but I don’t actually want to suffer or sacrifice for it. I’ll take Christian-lite please, with as few repercussions on my personal comfort and happiness as possible.

But here’s the deal, here’s what the Gospels actually say, straight-up, if we don’t sugar-coat the message:

The Christian life isn’t supposed to be easy. And if it is, we are doing it wrong.

I know, I know, I don’t want to hear it either. But it’s true. God asks us to make sacrifices, big sacrifices, sacrifices that will have a lasting impact on our personal lives. And while those sacrifices certainly won’t require us to tie our kids to a stack of wood in the backyard, they will require trust, faith, challenge and even discomfort.

The road is not supposed to be easy. We can’t walk it half-way or even three-fourths and call it good. We can’t withhold even a little bit of ourselves. God doesn’t say, “Follow me when you’re ready,” or “Follow me when it’s convenient for you,” or “Follow me when it’s easy.”

God says, “Follow me.”

Questions for Reflection:
What are you withholding from God? Do you ever try to talk around the more challenging Bible stories in the hopes of giving yourself an out? What would obeying God’s command, “Follow me” look like for you right now?

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Right God, Wrong God

September 6, 2013 By Michelle 4 Comments

“Mommy, who’s the right God and who’s the wrong God?”

My son Rowan and I are eating lunch on the back patio. As usual, he blurts his question out of nowhere. As usual he asks me, instead of the one person in our home who holds an actual theology degree.

Turns out, Rowan and a friend had been talking about God. Initially the friend had asked Rowan if he believed in God. When Rowan answered yes, his friend then asked if he believed in “the right God or the wrong God.”

“I didn’t really know what he meant, but I told him I believed in the right God,” Rowan admitted. “But Mommy,” he added, “who is the wrong God?”.

...Leave it to Rowan to ask the tricky questions … the rest of our conversation is over at the Lincoln Journal Star — join me there?

Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday: When Your Prayers Go Unanswered

August 25, 2013 By Michelle 45 Comments

“God has answered 90% of my prayers,” Noah declared recently at dinner. “Really?” I asked. “So how do you know?” I pictured an Excel spreadsheet with lots of columns and check marks. “I just sort of keep track of it,” Noah answered. “I just know.”

“Well I wish he’d answer 90% of my prayers,” Rowan said. “I get like 10% answered.”

I laughed out loud at that – Rowan can be a bit glass-half-empty. Like his mother. I assured Rowan that God has answered more than 10% of his prayers. It was more likely he wasn’t paying close attention and missed some of the answers along the way.

I reminded the kids that sometimes it seems like God doesn’t answer our prayers because the answers come later than we expected. “And sometimes,” I added, “God doesn’t give us exactly what we ask for because he has other, maybe better plans for us. Or because he has our best interests at heart, and knows that what we are praying for isn’t really good or right for us.”

“Yeah,” Noah agreed, “like the time I prayed for a wheelbarrow of candy. That was one of the ones God didn’t answer.”

“What? You prayed for a wheelbarrow of candy?” Rowan looked impressed by Noah’s prayer boldness. I could see the wheels turning.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus teaches us to ask God for what we need, assuring us that if we keep seeking, we will find, and if we keep knocking, the door will be opened (7:7). He also tells us that just as parents wouldn’t give their children a stone instead of bread, or a snake instead of fish, God gives only good gifts to his children.

I’d argue the opposite is implied in that passage, too. God knows what’s good for us, and like a protective parent, he tries to keep us from harm. He knows what lies ahead, what’s around the next bend. And he knows what will help us grow.

I know from personal experience that God uses the in-between waiting periods, the times when it feels like our prayers are going unanswered, to grow us closer to him. He also uses those periods to teach us something important about ourselves.

Believe me, I was not gracious or patient during the six years I waited for my first book to find a publishing home. I was obstinate and crabby and downright belligerent at times. But slowly during that period, I learned about the sins of envy and idolatry and how they impacted my relationship with God. And in that time, difficult as it was, I also learned to trust God more than I ever have before.

In the moment, I certainly didn’t recognize that period as a good gift from God, but that’s exactly what it turned out to be.

Questions for Reflection:
Can you think of a time in your life when it seemed like God didn’t answer your prayers? Is there something you learned from that experience? How did that strengthen or perhaps cause a bump in your relationship with God?

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Please include the Hear It, Use It button (grab the code below) or a link in your post, so your readers know where to find the community if they want to join in — thank you!

Thank you — I am so grateful that you are here!

God talk: talking to kids about God

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