Michelle DeRusha

Every Day Faith. Faith Every Day.

(in)RL

We Need YOUR Story {the 2014 inRL Conference}

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As we inch closer to publication day for Spiritual Misfit, I’ve been hearing one question in particular. People are curious if I’ve always wanted to be a writer and if I’ve always wanted to write a book.

The answer is no.

The truth is, eight years ago when I trudged down to our basement office before dawn and put my fingers to the keyboard, I hadn’t a blessed idea a book was about to be born. In fact, I didn’t realize I was writing a book until about 75 pages in, when it suddenly occurred to me that I seemed to be writing an awful lot of material.

The first sentence of Spiritual Misfit
 was the first creative sentence I ever wrote. I’d worked as a business writer all of my professional life, but I’d never written anything on my own, on the side.

That’s how I know it was God behind this whole crazy journey. Because when you think about it, why else would a girl who didn’t believe in God and who never wrote a creative word on her own begin to write a book about God one mid-winter morning before dawn?

I may not have known what in the world I was doing back then, but let me tell you, I believe in the power of story now.

That story I wrote eight years ago brought me back to God – God used those words I typed in the early mornings and late at night to bring me back to him. It sounds a little cheesy, but sometimes I describe Spiritual Misfit as both my love letter to God and his love letter back to me. My understanding of his love and grace is woven right into that book.

That’s why I love this year’s (in)courage (in)RL theme: We Need YOUR Story.

Because story is powerful.

Story tells us we are not alone, that we aren’t “the only one.”

Story connects us — to God and to each other.

Story inspires us to find our own brave, to step out in courage and hope.

Story unites us with arms linked and hands grasped.

This year my friend Deidra and I will join 28 other women to talk about friendship, community and the power of story as part of the 2014 (in)RL Conference. We’ll focus on the “how” of story and community: what building community looks like in a practical sense, and how we can see God’s glory in and through our everyday life, relationships and stories. We’ll share our personal testimonies and stories of community — the messy and the beautiful and the beautifully messy.

Join us for the third annual (in)Real Life webcast conference, Friday and Saturday, April 25 and 26. Grab a girlfriend or two or ten, set out the snacks and plunk down on the couch to participate in some beautiful, compelling, inspiring conversation about community, friendship and the power of YOUR story.

Visit (in)courage for more information, the agenda, a description of video topics and to register (it’s free!). 

(in)ked: A Community for Writers {You’re Invited!}

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AN UPDATE: The (in)ked Writers Group has reached its maximum number of 50 members, so I am so sorry that we are unable to accept any more members. All of the (in)couragers groups are capped at 50 to ensure that the groups stay small enough to be manageable and conducive to conversation. However, the good news is that there are THREE additional writers’ groups offered, so please hop over to the Find a Friend page and check out the other great writers’ groups. Thanks!! 

 

Last year I hosted a group of women at my house for an (in)Courage in-real-life event. Some of the women I knew well. Some of the women I’d never met before.

Truthfully, I was a little nervous about the whole thing, and part of me regretted getting myself all involved in it. In fact, I’d awakened the night before at 3:30 a.m. in a panic.  Should I buy flavored creamer? Would I have to pray out loud? Would people notice how sprongy my couch is with the broken springs?

How would it work, I wondered, with such a disparate group of women – women who didn’t even know each other, who weren’t even in the same place in life? I worried about the fact that we were probably all at different spots on the spiritual spectrum. “What if it’s too Jesus-ey?” I worried. “What if it’s not Jesus-ey enough?”


In the end, it worked beautifully.

Sure, some of us had never met before. And it’s true, we were different, all of us at various life stages – married, single, divorced, empty nester, grandmother, young mother, working, stay-at-home, retired. And yeah, we were undoubtedly at various points on the spiritual spectrum, too. But despite all that, we laughed. We shared stories. We ate scones.

We connected. And it was a beautiful thing.

Fast-forward almost a year. I’m still connected with (in)RL, and this time I’m teaming up with my friend Kimberly Coyle to lead an online (in)Couragers Writing Group. It’s called (in)ked: A Community  for Writers (Kimberly came up with the super clever name!), and we want YOU to be a part of this!

If you’re coming over from (in)courage to find out more about the Writers’ Group, let me tell you a little bit about myself. I’m mom to bug-loving boys Noah and Rowan and a pet lizard named Frill, and wife to Brad, an English professor who reads Moby Dick for fun. I live in Nebraska, where we moved 11 years ago, and where I discovered the Great Plains, grasshoppers the size of Cornish Hens…and God. I’d been an unbeliever for 20 years or so, and my return to God was as much a surprise to me as it was to everyone else in my life.

My faith and my writing have been connected from day one. Back in 2006 I inexplicably began to write my faith story – literally the first sentence I wrote would turn out to be the first sentence of a memoir that would take me more than two years to write. I didn’t know it at the time, but God used writing to bring me back to him, and I’ve been wrestling with my faith on the page ever since.

This writing journey hasn’t turned out exactly like I’d envisioned. In short,  my hair turned grey, and I’ve thrown more tantrums and shed more tears than one might like in pursuing this dream called publishing. I’ve thought about quitting once or twice(okay, like  24 million times), suffered more rejections than I can count (including another writer’s rejection…but that’s a whole other story) and weathered every up and down you can imagine.

That’s why I LOVE the idea of this online writers’ community.

Writing can be a lonely endeavor. (in)ked is a community where we can connect: to celebrate each other’s successes, pray for each other’s opportunities, ask each other for advice and support one another when the inevitable rejections trickle in. We hope to create a place where we can talk craft and calling, and we want you to join in the conversation.

We want you regardless of where you are in this writing journey, whether you have three books with your name on the cover, or if you only refer to yourself as a writer in the quiet corners of your heart. Everyone is welcome, no matter which stage of the journey you’re at.

I met Kimberly last summer when we were roommates at the She Speaks Conference, and she is awesome. Not only is she a beautiful, eloquent and passionate writer, she is also super warm, hilarious and very real. Ten minutes after meeting her in person, I felt completely at ease – and this is saying A LOT, especially considering the fact that we were two perfect strangers hanging out in our pajamas within hours of meeting one another. I was rattled to the bone at She Speaks, and Kimberly cracked me up and helped me settle in and just be me, which was a huge gift.

So, what do you say? Will you join us to talk about writing and all its up and downs? I can’t promise Kimberly and I will have all the answers (or any, for that matter), but I can say with confidence that we’ll learn, we’ll connect in a meaningful way and we’ll eat virtual scones.

To learn more or sign up to join (in)ked, visit the (in)ked Facebook Group page. You can also find out about all sorts of other groups by visiting (in)courage.

If you want to sign up to join our writers’ group, please do so before March 1 – the groups are capped at 50 members. The (in)ked Writers Community runs from today (February 12) through April 26. We’ll mostly be hanging out at the private (in)ked Facebook page, so join there if you are interested.

*Note: I apologize to you men out there who are reading this and thinking it sounds good. (in)courage is a community for women, so (in)ked is open to women only.

Questions? Let me know in the comments or email me at michellederusha1@gmail.com.

Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday: A Crowd of Witnesses in Real Life

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(in) Real Life: (back row): Lelia, Marge, Karna, Sarah, MJ, Erin;
(front row): me, Deidra, Stacy, Amy, Libby, Frances, Amanda

Yesterday was confirmation Sunday at church, and I cried my way through most of the service without a shred of Kleenex in my purse. The young people kneeled straight and tall, white gowns cascading onto altar steps, scarlet carnations pinned to their chests, and as our pastors prayed over them while their parents crowded behind with bowed heads, hands on their shoulders, one word rang in my head: community.

In her sermon, Pastor Sara talked how each of us is surrounded by a “huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith” (Hebrews 12:1) – those who run the race of faith with us, paving the way before us, carrying us along as we grow weary.
“The people who have gone before us and who we spend our time with now help us tell our story,” Sara acknowledged. “The spirit of people both past and present cheer us on in our faith.”

As I listened to Sara I thought about the community of womenDeidra, Erin and I hosted in my home on Saturday. Some of these women I know well – friends, colleagues and neighbors – and some I just met for the first time Saturday.

Truthfully, I’d been nervous about hosting this event. In fact, I’d awakened the night before at 3:30 a.m. in a panic.  Should I buy flavored creamer? Did I have enough chairs? Should we wear name tags? Would I have to pray out loud? Would we stand around with our arms folded over our chests in awkward silence? Would people notice how sprongy my couch is with the broken springs?

How is this going to work with such a disparate group of women – women who don’t even know each other, who aren’t even in the same place in life, I wondered as I tossed and turned, sleepless and sweaty.

I worried about the fact that we were probably all at different spots on the spiritual spectrum. “What if it’s too Jesus-ey?” I worried. “What if it’s not Jesus-ey enough?” I fretted.

You know what?

It worked. It worked beautifully.

Sure, some of us had never met before. And it’s true, we were different, all of us at various life stages – married, single, divorced, empty nester, grandmother, young mother, working, stay-at-home, retired. And yeah, we were undoubtedly at various points on the spiritual spectrum, too. But despite all that, we laughed. We shared stories. We ate scones.

We connected.

And when I dashed out the door to head to work before the meet-up had even officially ended, and I saw Deidra up to her elbows in a sink full of soapy water, and Frances with a dish towel in her hand and Amanda clearing my table (two women, by the way, I’d only just met two hours before), I knew I was witnessing something beautiful.
As I stopped for a second to glimpse those three women cleaning my kitchen, I witnessed in-real-life community unfold right before my harried eyes.
Where have you found unexpected community?
Click here to get Graceful in your email in-box.
Click here to “like” my Facebook Writer page. Thank you!
With Jen and her lovely community of Soli Sisters:

And beautiful Laura at The Wellspring:

Welcome to the “Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday” community, a place where we share what we are hearing from God and his Word.

If you’re here for the first time, click here for more information. Please include the Hear It, Use It button (grab the code over in the sidebar) or a link in your post, so your readers know where to find the community if they want to join in — thank you!

Please also try to visit and leave some friendly encouragement in the comment box of at least one other Hear It, Use It participant. And if you want to tweet about the community, please use the #HearItUseIt hashtag.

Thank you — I am so grateful to have you here!

In Real Life: Saved

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In Real Life blogger friends Nancy Franson, Deidra Riggs and Mary Bonner

 It took two towers crumbling into a heap of soot and tangled metal, one wailing baby and acres of waving grain for me to pick up the phone that day and call for help.

My oldest son Noah was just four weeks and one day old on September 11, 2001. We had moved to Nebraska nine weeks prior, and as I stood in my living room and watched the Today show in disbelief, the Twin Towers tumbling straight down, I paced the living room with my screaming infant as the tears rolled down my cheeks. Never had I felt so alone or afraid. My entire family and everyone I called a friend lived 1,500 miles away. My husband was at work at his brand-new job. I didn’t even know the neighbors’ names.
Later that afternoon, before Brad cancelled the rest of his classes for the day and came home, I called the hospital where Noah had been born just a few weeks earlier. I talked to a pleasant, remarkably calm – given the day – receptionist, who referred me to a group called The Mom’s Club. They met every Wednesday morning at the Lutheran Church on South 27th Street, she told me brightly.
I didn’t know it at the time, but my life had just been changed.
The next week I showed up at the church, the car seat carrier hooked into the crook of my arm, bumping against my thigh as I walked down the stairs into the basement. I stopped at the end of the hallway, my shoes planted on the linoleum like feet in wet concrete. From a room around the corner I heard voices – women laughing and talking, kids chasing each other, a baby fussing, the scrape of metal folding chairs against the floor. I didn’t want to go in. I didn’t want to enter this room full of strangers, all women who knew each other, all women who were already friends.
The chairs were arranged in a circle. Boxes of crackers, bottles of juice and a plate of homemade brownies were spread out on a long table against the wall. I set the car seat carrier on the floor, hung my jacket on the back of the metal chair, sat down and fidgeted with Noah’s blanket, tucking it around his legs and arms, pretending to be preoccupied as the women chatted in couples and groups around the room.
“Hi, I’m Karla. Is this your first time at the Mom’s Club?” I glanced up to see a woman with long brown hair and blue eyes standing in front of me, her hand extended. I stood up, smiling, and took her hand.
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Finding the Mom’s Club saved me when I first moved to Nebraska 10 years ago. I simply don’t know what would have happened had I not called the hospital that day and discovered that community of women, many of whom are still my dear friends today.
In a lot of ways I feel similarly about this online community here, too. Nothing has surprised me more about blogging than the fact that real friendships can and do form across cyberspace. I used to roll my eyes when someone mentioned that social media could represent real life in any way – I’m so glad I was proved wrong.

By now you may have heard about the (in) RL meet-ups taking place nationwide (and worldwide!) on April 28. If you haven’t, please do pop over here to read more about it.
In short, these meet-ups offer the opportunity for women to connect in real life, right where they are — to come together to enjoy community (and snacks, of course). Deidra, Erin and I are hosting a meet-up right here in Lincoln, but even if you’re not in Nebraska, there are tons of meet-ups happening in every state, so you are sure to find one near you.
I encourage you to register – (just click on the button below; it’s only $10 and you get a super-cute t-shirt!). I promise it’s going to be a lot of fun, and if you can make it to the Lincoln meet-up, I would love to meet you in real life! Whoot!

{While you’re at it, stop by The Diaper Diaries tomorrow – Jill’s writing about (in) RL over there!}

A Quiet Gesture…and a Not-So-Quiet (in) Real Life Invitation! {day twenty-three}

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“Who in the world’s at the door at this hour?” I wonder aloud when the doorbell rings at 7:30 p.m., because, after all, 7:30 is late for doorbell ringing at our house.

I’m in my pajamas, because it is 7:30 on a Friday night, so I crack the door just an inch or so and peer into the cold darkness. The Hyvee Florist van rumbles in the driveway, and on my doorstep stands the delivery lady, a box bursting pink and green in her hands.
I hold the glass door open wider, and that’s when I smell the lush scent of spring wafting up from the cardboard box.

At the kitchen counter I take the card from its tiny envelope and read it aloud to Brad: “Love you, praying with you — Deidra and Harry.” Tears spring to my eyes, and I bury my nose deep into delicate petals spread open wide.

All week long the house breathes the essence of spring. When I push open the front door and stumble into the foyer, arms laden with backpacks and lunch bags, a grocery sack and the mail, the heady scent of hyacinth hits me, and my heart beats with hope.

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(in) Real Life…Nebraska-Style!

Some of you might know that I first met met Deidra online. Even though her house is less than two miles from mine, I came across her blog, Jumping Tandem first, and then, miraculously ran into her in a Lincoln coffee shop one cold winter night two years ago. We recognized each other from our tiny profile pictures on our blogs. I just love, love, love that we have become real-life friends, and am so grateful for the encouragement and support she lavishes on me, not just during this time of grief for my family, but always!

You know what’s even more amazing? Deidra’s not the only woman I’ve come to know and love in these two years I’ve been blogging. It’s been the most beautiful and unexpected blessing — that these online relationships and friendships are real and rich and fulfilling…just like in “real life.”

So…maybe some of you are familiar with the (in) courage community and have heard about the upcoming (in) Real Life meet-ups that are taking place in cities and towns around the nation and the world?

Well I have good news for you – Deidra, our Lincoln super cute blogger friend Erin (who is 39 weeks pregnant and still super cute!)  from Home with the Boys and I are hosting a real live meet-up right here in Lincoln, Nebraska – at my house, I might add! {maybe I should mention this to my husband sometime soon?! Ah, honey…are you reading this?!}

That’s right! And we are inviting YOU to attend. Come hang out with us and eat scones (because you know there will be scones if I’m hosting) on Saturday, April 28, at 11 a.m. here in Lincoln, Nebraska! [click here to see who’s signed up for the Lincoln meet-up so far].

To R.S.V.P. to the Lincoln meet-up, please register here or click the button at the bottom of this post. Or, leave me a comment with your email (or send me an email directly: michellederusha1@gmail.com) if you need more details or want to come, and I will try to answer any questions you may have. By officially registering, not only will you get the chance to meet Deidra, Erin and me in person (tee hee hee!), and eat the best scones ever (homemade by my husband, who does not know he will be doing this yet!), you’ll also get a really cool t-shirt from (in) courage and the opportunity to connect with super cool, fun, wonderful women in our community! {and we’ll have some fab door prizes!}

Also, hop over to Deidra’s and Erin’s today, too – all three of us are writing about the Lincoln (in) RL meet-up. This is so fun! Come on, register…you totally know you want to! And stay tuned for more…