Michelle DeRusha

Every Day Faith. Faith Every Day.

Shop-Not Chronicles

My Dad Went to Haiti and Came Home Sick

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“I still don’t know why I went,” he said, genuinely puzzled. “I know why you went,” I answered my dad. “You don’t just go to Haiti for fun. You go because the Holy Spirit tells you to go.”

My dad and my brother-in-law Matt recently traveled to Haiti with the Haitian Health Foundation, an organization that provides healthcare, education, food and shelter to more than 200,000 Haitians living in the city of Jeremie and in rural mountain villages. Matt and my dad went with a team of dentists from Connecticut. They helped pull rotten teeth and dispensed medicine and food for five days straight.

I admit, I was shocked when he announced earlier in the year that he had signed up to travel with the Foundation. Like me, my dad is a somewhat troubled believer. Traveling to Haiti at age 70 on a mission trip was unexpected, to say the least.

My dad came home sick. Not physically ill, but heart-sick. And a little bit spiritually sick, too. He talked for a long time, sitting on my red couch, tucked into our cozy living room with the lights burning bright and clean water from the faucet and cabinets stocked full of food. He described what he had seen in Haiti, what he kept seeing when he closed his eyes at night, comfortable in his king-sized bed.

Children scavenging for food amid garbage, playing in the stream of raw sewage that flowed by their shacks.

Orphans, their bellies grossly distended from malnutrition.

Families lined up at sunrise for the chance to see a dentist.

Mouths full of sores, swollen gums and rotting teeth.

Fathers selling bits of junk and charcoal on the street.

A mother who held out her sick infant, begging “Take, take.”

“No, no,” my dad had said, shaking his head at the woman who thrust her child at him. “No doctor, no, I’m not a doctor.” He stood outside of the orphanage in the blazing sun. “I just couldn’t do it,” he said. ‘I just couldn’t look at those kids for another second.”

I don’t know what the answers are. I don’t know about the solutions, or even whether there’s really hope for Haiti. But I do know this. The Holy Spirit sent my dad to Haiti. He doesn’t know why and neither do I. But there was a reason. That I know for sure.

How YOU Can Help:
More than 92 percent of funds collected by the Haitian Health Foundation go directly to services for the poor in Jeremie and the surrounding mountain villages. Relief programs include healthcare, Feed-A-Child, Save-A-Family, housing construction projects, latrine building projects, education sponsorships and more.

Please visit the Haitian Health Foundation for more information or to make a donation.

*Photos taken by my brother-in-law Matt (pictured in the black glasses and the baseball cap). I’m just so proud of my dad, who went on his very first mission trip at the age of 70 – what a leap! 

The Hole in Our Gospel: Why Do You Worry about Clothes?

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I’ve always been a shopper – it’s simply something I love to do. And it doesn’t even have to be extravagant shopping – a $5 pair of jeans at the thrift store is enough to produce that “shopping high.”

After a year of not shopping, though, I have a new perspective on stuff. The first few months of my Shop-Not Project were tough as I constantly battled the urge to buy. During that time I realized that I use shopping to fulfill my psychological needs: as a mood improver, a solution for boredom and a confidence booster. I also realized that I view my stuff as a status symbol – wearing a new dress to work or sporting a new pair of earrings makes me feel more confident, and, oddly, smarter and more capable.

In reality, though, outward appearance doesn’t matter one bit to God. He’s less concerned with the brand of my jeans or the color of my hair or how many flat-screen TVs I own, and much more concerned with the state of my heart and how I’m using my God-given gifts to impact others.

“Why do you worry about clothes?” He asks me. And when I read those statistics about poverty – how half the world’s population lives on less than $2 a day – and see those pictures of families with their entire life’s possessions laid on the street, I have to ask myself, “Why do I worry about clothes?”

It’s all about context, and I realize as I study The Hole in Our Gospel that I need to broaden my perspective. When I frame that question – Why do I worry about clothes? – within the context of global poverty, my worries about material possessions seem downright silly.

God, please help me keep a global perspective when it comes to stuff. When my heart turns toward material possessions, please remind me of how much I have and how little I truly need. Please help me focus my heart, my time and my energy not on acquiring more, but on giving more.

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I am honored and excited to be one of six writers blogging along with The Hole in Our Gospel as part of my church’s small group study. Every Tuesday for the next six weeks I’ll post my piece here. And if you want to read the perspectives of other bloggers, head over to Southwood’s blog.

Want to read and study along with me? Buy The Hole in Our Gospel here. And check out this companion website for quick, insightful actions items you can do every day for six weeks to deepen your understanding of global poverty.

{Oh, and by the way, that’s not my closet!}

** Swing by here tomorrow…I am doing a giveaway! Yippee!

Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday: Just One

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I recently listened to a podcast of my favorite NPR show, On Being, for entertainment on a long drive. Krista Tippett interviewed New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof, who has written about atrocities in China, Dafur, Congo and around the globe, and the two talked about whether journalism can serve as a humanitarian art (read more or listen to the interview here).

One of the most fascinating and disturbing parts of the interview was their discussion of a study done by sociologist Paul Slovic, who concluded that “compassion fatigue” – that is, the point in which we are so overwhelmed by global suffering and poverty that we are too paralyzed to take any action – sets in a lot sooner than one might guess:

“In a study from the Decision Science Research Institute, Slovic and his team presented some people with the opportunity to donate to a starving girl named Rokia, and others to a starving boy named Moussa. People responded compassionately to their cause. He then presented a third group of people with the opportunity to donate to both Rokia and Moussa, helping both of them equally. Surprisingly, people were less likely to donate anything at all when they were presented with two starving children.” (source here).

You read right. Slovic found that hopelessness and disenchantment set in at the number two. Not billions. Not thousands or even hundreds of starving children. Just two.

Apparently it doesn’t take much for us to feel overwhelmed, hopeless and helpless in the face of global suffering. And when I think about my own giving history, I know this is true.

When I first read The Hole in Our Gospel, by World Vision president Richard Stearns, I was awed by the statistics. I told everyone I knew about the book and urged everyone I knew to read it, but I didn’t actually DO anything about the global poverty Stearns wrote about. I read the book. I thought about it. And then I put the book on my shelf.

About six months later I read The Hole in Our Gospel again in preparation for a blog series I planned to write. Except this time, coincidentally, I read it at the same time I read Ann Voskamp’s account of her Compassion trip to Guatemala. Seeing those pictures of little Xiomara’s home — her tiny cinder block kitchen, the bedroom she shared with her entire family, the thin cloths that covered holes in their tin shack —  brought the overwhelming statistics in Stearns’ book to life. I remember sitting with my son Noah at the computer one night as we scrolled through photo after photo of Xiomara’s house and the Guatemalan slums where she lived.

That was the moment I decided to launch my Shop-Not Project, which one year later led to our family’s sponsorship of Pedro in Bolivia. One child, one story, made the difference.

Today we celebrated Global Missions Sunday at my church, and I was privileged to hear Marilee Pierce Dunker, daughter of World Vision founded Bob Pierce, speak about global poverty. Marilee suggested two important truths that fly in the face of compassion fatigue.

First, she reminded me that God commands that I help the needy. As Marilee mentioned, he doesn’t suggest it, he doesn’t advise it, he doesn’t even ask that I help. He commands it:

“There will always be poor in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded…toward the poor and needy.” (Deuteronomy 15:11).

And second, Marilee reminded me of this:

“God is always talking to us, always calling us. The question is whether you want to listen.”

It’s easy to choose the opposite, of course – to fall back on the age-old excuse: what difference can I make against such an insurmountable problem? I’m only one person, after all, and there are billions suffering. What’s the point?

But the point, I think, isn’t to help all the billions of people at once. It’s to help one single person at a time. The Pedro. The Xiomara.

And the choice to offer that help is all mine. And so I ask myself today: do I want to listen to that One voice?

Have you ever felt paralyzed by the overwhelming poverty that exists in the world? Do you have any tips for overcoming compassion fatigue?

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Interested in learning more about sponsoring a needy child? Visit World Vision or Compassion International.

As a side note…my church is studying The Hole in Our Gospel for our small group study this fall, and a number of writers are blogging about the book on Southwood’s website. I will post my contributions here every Tuesday for the next six weeks. But if you want to read more, please head over to Southwood’s blog for some very insightful posts (every day for the next six weeks)!

Sharing with Ann Voskamp and her Walk with Him Wednesday series on how we practice hope: 

Welcome to the “Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday” community! If you’re here for the first time, click here for details and instructions on how to link up.

Or you can simply copy the code for the “Hear It, Use It” button in the sidebar to the right, and paste it into your own post. [Please include the button or a link in your post, so your readers know where to find the community if they want to join in!]

Be sure to come back on Thursday for the Hear It, Use It Round-Up, where I highlight a handful of posts each week and encourage you to visit, soak up the lessons and leave a postive comment.

I love hearing what you have to reveal each week about how God is speaking to you through his word, and I am so very grateful for your participation here!

The Top Ten Reasons Why Shop-Not Rocks

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The Shop-Not Project is done! I completed one year of no shopping on August 31.

* blows trumpet throws confetti purchases 600-page September issue of In Style magazine * 

I’d love to say it was a breeze — that I didn’t miss shopping at all, and that I’ve transformed into a less materialistic, less spendy, more centered person.

But that wouldn’t be the whole truth.

Sure, there were many days during the 12 months that I didn’t think about or care about not shopping at all. But I won’t kid you…there were other times when it was just plain painful.

…Like when I had to attend two funerals and combed through my closet over and over looking for something appropriate to wear.

…Or when I dripped Italian salad dressing on my favorite shorts just two weeks into the Shop-Not year.

…And then sat in pine sap in my other favorite pair.

…Or when my cheapie Payless shoes disintegrated, and my husband had to super-glue the heels back in place.

…Or when I chatted with the super stylish moms at school drop-off and felt like a big frumpity bum in my pine sappy shorts.

On the other hand, though, there were significant benefits, and I have absolutely no regrets that I did it (however I do know someone who did a two-year Shop-Not…and I’ll take a pass on that, thank you very much.).

So, in light of 365 successful Shop-Not days, here are my Top 10 Reasons Why Shop-Not Rocks:

10. Less time cruising the aisles of Kohl’s and Target meant more time to read, enjoy the outdoors, hang out with friends and take fun, creative field trips with the kids.

9. Generous friends and hand-me-downs: Diana’s boots, Kristi the Shoe Fairy, Viviana and Aimee knocking on the front door with three bags piled high.

8. Creative ideas: like the Clothing Swap organized by the Edgy Bookworms, my book club girls. 

7. A new appreciation for quality craftsmanship. Payless is fine for the trendy fringed booties that will be next year’s look by next week, but if I want shoes that last, I realize now that I’ve got to plunk down a little more quid.

6. The support of friends who regularly checked in on progress [and didn’t rub it in when they sported a new Anne Taylor Loft purse].

5. Talking with my kids about Shop-Not and maybe, just maybe, influencing their attitudes toward the accumulation of more stuff.

4. Closet clarity. I know for sure now, if I didn’t wear an item during an entire year of not shopping, I’m never going to wear it. Off to the Goodwill it goes. Plus the opportunity to get creative with what I already own, instead of simply buying more. 

3. This encouraging online community right here – you all kept me accountable, especially when temptations were knocking down the door!

2. Satisfaction: I saved more than $500 and was committed to the program for the entire 12 months [disclaimer: I did purchase two items: a pair of running shoes – because I am old, you know, and my ancient knees couldn’t withstand two-year-old running shoes; and a Cover Girl lip gloss in my favorite shade … because while I vowed to be frugal, I never committed to a year of hideous!].

And the Number One reason Shop-Not rocks…

Pedro Mae!


Pedro lives in Bolivia with his mother and five siblings, and we are so honored to sponsor him through Compassion International with the money I saved from the Shop-Not Project. Pedro’s picture hangs on our refrigerator, and every time I look at his brown eyes and solemn face, I pray that our sponsorship will make a difference in his life.

And can I let you in on a secret? You don’t have to give up shopping for a year to be able to afford a sponsorship. It costs just $38 a month to sponsor Pedro. Seriously. That’s hardly more than the cost of a few lattes and maybe a new lipstick and the fall issue of In Style magazine.

The truth is, it’s not a huge sacrifice. But it makes a huge difference.

Want to learn more? Visit Compassion — in addition to sponsorships, there are a whole lot of ways to make an impact on children and families across the globe.

And consider reading The Hole in Our Gospel, by Richard Stearns. This is the book (along with Ann Voskamp’s posts about her Compassion trip to Guatemala) that prompted the Shop-Not Project (my church is studying the book this fall, so I’ll be reading it again with my small group and writing more about The Hole in Our Gospel here beginning in October).

In the meantime, I simply want to say thanks for your support and encouragement along the way. If it wasn’t for this blogging endeavor, I may never have had the courage to launch the Shop-Not Project, and I may never have been blessed with the opportunity to sponsor little Pedro.

“Being a Christian, or follower of Jesus Christ, requires much more than just having a personal and transforming relationship with God. It also entails a public and transforming relationship with the world…Living out our faith privately was never meant to be an option.”

“There is no ‘whole gospel’ without compassion and justice shown to the poor. It’s that simple.” — Richard Stearns

“If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:17-18

Curious about the Shop-Not journey? You can read other posts I wrote about it during the past 12 months here.

  



Tips for Successful Shop-Notting

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Less than three months to go on the Shop-Not Project – if I reach September 1, I’ll have gone the full 12 months without purchasing any clothing, shoes, accessories, purses or the like.

Honestly, I’ve been tempted more than once (read about the Great Flip-Flop Temptation here), but over time I’ve developed a few strategies for keeping myself on the straight and narrow.

1. Procrastinate – If I think I have to buy something, I put off the decision…at least until the next time I shop. Even when I’m not doing Shop-Not, this diversion strategy helps me focus on whether I really want something, or if I am simply making an impulse purchase.

2. Shop with cash only – A couple of years ago Brad and I established a strict budget, allotting ourselves $100 per month each for personal spending. This $100 covers socializing (i.e. dinner, drinks, movies, golf), clothing, accessories, books and frivolous household purchases (pretty dishtowels, just because). Let me tell you, you spend your cash wisely if you know you have a finite amount of it each month.

3. Don’t browse catalogs or sales flyers – All those Lands End and Pier I catalogs that stack up in the mailbox? They go directly into the recycling bin. And the Kohl’s and Target flyers that come in Sunday’s paper? I recycle those without even looking at them, too. Why pine over cute aundresses and strappy wedges when I know I can’t buy them? Recycling cuts down on the Shop-Not angst.

4. Avoid shopping carts – This one is a suggestion from Andrew Mellen, author of Unstuff Your Life. How many times have you gone into Target for a single item and left with four brimming bags and a receipt for $150? Yeah, I thought so. It’s the story of my life, too. Now when I walk through Target’s automatic doors with one item in mind, I grab just the small plastic basket…or none at all. That way I’m not tempted to fill a cart with merchandise I don’t need [I will point out, though, that lipstick, jewelry and hair accessories fit rather well in a hand basket. Just saying.].

5. Don’t shop for entertainment – This is another of Mellon’s suggestions…and this is how we know Andrew is a Man. There are some things Men simply can’t understand, like the fact that women shop for entertainment. Period. And when we shop with girlfriends, forget it – all hope for pragmatic purchasing is gone. That said, I see where Andrew is headed with this. If you don’t need to shop, find something else to do – go out for a latte with your girlfriend, meet for a margarita, get a pedicure – anything is less expensive than hitting Banana Republic with your BFF.

That’s all I’ve got, people – well, that and an envelope in my cabinet marked “Shop-Not Compassion.” And that’s really all the incentive I need.


What about you? Have you ever employed one of these tactics to help limit your own spending? What other strategies do you use to cut down on shopping or spending?

Curious about my year-long Shop-Not Project? Click here for the story of what prompted the whole gig. Click here to read other posts in the Shop-Not Chronicles.