Michelle DeRusha

Every Day Faith. Faith Every Day.

tough decisons

Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday {Wednesday}: It’s Not Supposed to Be Easy

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“Mommy,” Rowan asked, all wide eyes and furrowed brow, “If God asked you to kill me, would you do it?”

Rowan was about five, and we were reading his children’s Bible for the first time, the Bible I’d hoped would skirt around some of the more difficult, unsavory issues. As we finished the story of Abraham and Isaac, I realized that wasn’t going to be the case.

“Well,” I answered, “I’m pretty sure I don’t have the kind of trust Abraham had. So no, I wouldn’t. I would tell God ‘no.’” I reassured Rowan that God wouldn’t actually have let Abraham go through with it, but was merely testing Abraham’s faith.

I gave Rowan the answer he wanted to hear. But I also gave the answer I knew was true. The fact is, even in matters far less grave than the sacrifice of a child, I often don’t obey God’s will. I look for the easy way out instead.

I know I’m inclined to explain away or talk around some of the more challenging stories in the Bible, in order to make them less challenging, less disturbing.

I tell myself the story of Abraham and Isaac doesn’t apply to me. I needn’t worry about having to make a choice like that, because that was the Old Testament God. Now that we have Jesus, I reassure myself, God doesn’t ask us to make choices like that.

Even with some of the New Testament stories – like the parable of the rich young man, for example – I tell myself Jesus isn’t being literal, but is merely offering an example as a metaphorical illustration.

But I’m kidding myself. In re-writing and re-interpreting some of the tougher stories in the Bible, I am letting myself off the hook. I’m trying to skate by, to get off easy. I want to be a “good Christian,” sure, but I don’t actually want to suffer or sacrifice for it. I’ll take Christian-lite please, with as few repercussions on my personal comfort and happiness as possible.

But here’s the deal, here’s what the Gospels actually say, straight-up, if we don’t sugar-coat the message:

The Christian life isn’t supposed to be easy. And if it is, we are doing it wrong.

I know, I know, I don’t want to hear it either. But it’s true. God asks us to make sacrifices, big sacrifices, sacrifices that will have a lasting impact on our personal lives. And while those sacrifices certainly won’t require us to tie our kids to a stack of wood in the backyard, they will require trust, faith, challenge and even discomfort.

The road is not supposed to be easy. We can’t walk it half-way or even three-fourths and call it good. We can’t withhold even a little bit of ourselves. God doesn’t say, “Follow me when you’re ready,” or “Follow me when it’s convenient for you,” or “Follow me when it’s easy.”

God says, “Follow me.”

Questions for Reflection:
What are you withholding from God? Do you ever try to talk around the more challenging Bible stories in the hopes of giving yourself an out? What would obeying God’s command, “Follow me” look like for you right now?

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Why I’m Not Reading 50 Shades of Grey

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I thought about it, I did. After all, 50 Shades of Grey is a self-publishing phenom – a book that sold more than 3 million copies (electronic and paperback) in the first month it was released by Vintage (and that’s not counting its previous self-published sales). Everybody is talking about it – honestly, I was starting to feel a little left out. 

So when I got my Kindle as a Mother’s Day gift, the first book I looked up was 50 Shades of Grey (there’s something wrong with that, isn’t there – that I get a Kindle for Mother’s Day, and I consider buying a sex book with it?). I didn’t buy 50 Shades of Grey that Sunday, though. I bought Jeff Goins’ book You are a Writer instead (hmmm, writing or erotica…she picks writing. That should tell you all you need to know).

I’ve read a couple of posts from the Christian/Biblical perspective about why some have chosen not to read 50 Shades, but I have to tell you, the reason I decided not to read it isn’t because I’m a Christian or because the Bible tells me I shouldn’t. I don’t know the Bible well enough to support an argument like that (I’m reading the Old Testament through for the first time right now, and I’ve gotten as far as Nahum– I’m on the “Bible in 900 Days” plan).

So…here are the real reasons I’m not reading 50 Shades of Grey:

1.       The writing is terrible.
I know, I know, I haven’t read the book…so how can I judge? Well, my best friend Andrea read it, and I trust her judgment.

Andrea is a voracious reader. When we were kids she’d walk two doors up to my house on summer mornings, and we’d plant ourselves on my parents’ screened porch, prop open our books and read together all day, sitting with our feet tucked beneath us on the orange and yellow vinyl cushions that covered the metal rockers. That’s what we did for fun. We read our separate books together.

So last week, when Andrea emailed me her take on 50 Shades – “Horrible writing. Frankly, it’s porn. Nothing literary about it so far.” – I thought, “Ok, I’m good.”
I don’t have anything against erotica per se, but please, can we make the effort to write it well? Honestly, I think the bad prose would distract me too much from the sex anyway.

2.       It’s the kind of entertainment that doesn’t add anything to my life.
I’m not reading Shades of Grey for the same reason I don’t watch much reality TV: it doesn’t contribute anything good to my life. Now before you roll your eyes and assume I’m plunked in front of NOVA or Mother Angelica every night, let me explain.

I’d like to tell you I don’t watch Real Housewives or Tosh.O or Chelsea Handler because it’s crap or crass or in poor taste, but that wouldn’t be the whole truth.

The real reason I don’t watch those shows is because part of me enjoys them. I get a lift out of witnessing someone else’s bad decisions; I laugh at other people’s misfortunes; I’m secretly relieved that at least my life isn’t as pathetic or as messed up or as downright embarrassing as theirs.

And then I come away from those shows feeling a little bit gross and a little bit guilty for enjoying entertainment at someone else’s expense.
I also simply don’t feel very good about myself when I watch reality TV. I’m not saying I need to have a spiritual or intellectual experience every time I turn on the television or read a book (I watch House Hunters, need I say more?), I  just don’t want to come away feeling more depleted and emptier than when I started.

Although I can’t be sure, I suspect I’d finish 50 Shades of Grey feeling the same way. I simply don’t think I’d feel good about myself. I’m leery that it would leave me with that empty, oogy feeling. 
In the end, I decided bad writing combined with feeling like that isn’t worth the $9.99.

What about you? Will you read 50 Shades of Grey (I’m not judging, I swear!)? And if no, why not?

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Stepping Out

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Six weeks ago I gave my resignation at work. After nearly 10 years, tomorrow will be my last day at NET Televison and Radio. And Friday will be my first official day as a freelance writer.

“It’s like you’re at the end of a long, dark hallway,” my officemate Pam said to me one morning. We sat at our desks, the sun slanting through the blinds as I hemmed and hawed aloud about the pros and cons of a career change. “You just have to take the first step,” she said.

“Yeah, but I’d like to see a couple of doors down that hallway first,” I replied, laughing. “They don’t even have to be wide open, a sliver of light would be fine. I just want to know the doors are there first.”
…Will you hop over to read the rest of my story over at the Lincoln Journal Star? I’ll see you over there…

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The Nudger

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“So, would you ever be interested in ghostwriting?” my agent, Rachelle, asked me over the phone a few weeks ago. “Sometimes that’s a good way for writers to supplement their income.”

“Huh. I hadn’t really considered ghostwriting,” I told her. “But I already have a job, so I can’t really see how I’d have the time to work, write my own stuff and help write someone else’s stuff, too.”

“That’s totally fine,” she said. “I just thought I’d ask.”

Later, when I told Brad about the conversation, his response surprised me. “So…haven’t you been talking about wanting to become a full-time writer? And wouldn’t ghostwriting be a way for you to do that?”

Oh.

Yeah.

I guess I never considered that.

I’ve been talking about wanting to become a full-time writer for almost two years now. In fact, if you ask my husband, he’ll probably tell you that I’ve complained about it ceaselessly.

“Why’d God give me the skills and this love of writing, but not the opportunity to do it every day? What is he thinking?!” I’d rant from time to time. 

Frankly, for a while it seemed like everyone around me was being showered with opportunity, while I stood by, watching and imploring, “Hey! God! When’s my turn?!”  

Sometimes, though, I think the opportunities are there, but we simply don’t recognize them.

The problem was that I had defined “full-time writer” a particular way in my own head (i.e. writing and publishing my own books), and I couldn’t see beyond that limited image. It took a nudge from Brad – “Ah, hello? This could be great, you know!” – to get me to broaden my view of what writing full-time might look like.

The nudgers are important in this journey, aren’t they?

They are the people who know you inside and out.  

They are your trusted advisors, the ones who will help you walk through a hard decision.

They are the people who will give you a poke and say, “Hey, I think this might be it. I think this might be what you’ve been waiting for all this time.”

They are the people who recognize opportunity when you can’t see it staring you in the face.

After that initial phone call from Rachelle, Brad and I talked off and on for a couple of weeks about the possibility of me transitioning from my stable, part-time job of 10 years to freelance writing. The more we talked, the more real and possible the opportunity seemed. Eventually I called Rachelle back.


“So,” I said to her, pausing, “I’m interested in this ghostwriting thing. Tell me more.”

Two weeks later, I gave my resignation notice at work.

Who are your people? The ones who nudge you when you need it? The ones who recognize the opportunity when you can’t?

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Struggling to Serve

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Don't Go.

About a year ago my husband and I signed up our family of four to deliver Meals on Wheels once every six weeks to elderly residents around town. It seemed like the perfect family volunteer opportunity.

What we didn’t anticipate was the mutiny.

…I’m writing over at The High Calling today. Will you join me there to find out how we dealt with the Meals on Wheels mutiny?

*Image by Josh Liba. Used with permission. Sourced via Flickr.