Michelle DeRusha

Every Day Faith. Faith Every Day.

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The Top Ten Reasons Why Shop-Not Rocks

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The Shop-Not Project is done! I completed one year of no shopping on August 31.

* blows trumpet throws confetti purchases 600-page September issue of In Style magazine * 

I’d love to say it was a breeze — that I didn’t miss shopping at all, and that I’ve transformed into a less materialistic, less spendy, more centered person.

But that wouldn’t be the whole truth.

Sure, there were many days during the 12 months that I didn’t think about or care about not shopping at all. But I won’t kid you…there were other times when it was just plain painful.

…Like when I had to attend two funerals and combed through my closet over and over looking for something appropriate to wear.

…Or when I dripped Italian salad dressing on my favorite shorts just two weeks into the Shop-Not year.

…And then sat in pine sap in my other favorite pair.

…Or when my cheapie Payless shoes disintegrated, and my husband had to super-glue the heels back in place.

…Or when I chatted with the super stylish moms at school drop-off and felt like a big frumpity bum in my pine sappy shorts.

On the other hand, though, there were significant benefits, and I have absolutely no regrets that I did it (however I do know someone who did a two-year Shop-Not…and I’ll take a pass on that, thank you very much.).

So, in light of 365 successful Shop-Not days, here are my Top 10 Reasons Why Shop-Not Rocks:

10. Less time cruising the aisles of Kohl’s and Target meant more time to read, enjoy the outdoors, hang out with friends and take fun, creative field trips with the kids.

9. Generous friends and hand-me-downs: Diana’s boots, Kristi the Shoe Fairy, Viviana and Aimee knocking on the front door with three bags piled high.

8. Creative ideas: like the Clothing Swap organized by the Edgy Bookworms, my book club girls. 

7. A new appreciation for quality craftsmanship. Payless is fine for the trendy fringed booties that will be next year’s look by next week, but if I want shoes that last, I realize now that I’ve got to plunk down a little more quid.

6. The support of friends who regularly checked in on progress [and didn’t rub it in when they sported a new Anne Taylor Loft purse].

5. Talking with my kids about Shop-Not and maybe, just maybe, influencing their attitudes toward the accumulation of more stuff.

4. Closet clarity. I know for sure now, if I didn’t wear an item during an entire year of not shopping, I’m never going to wear it. Off to the Goodwill it goes. Plus the opportunity to get creative with what I already own, instead of simply buying more. 

3. This encouraging online community right here – you all kept me accountable, especially when temptations were knocking down the door!

2. Satisfaction: I saved more than $500 and was committed to the program for the entire 12 months [disclaimer: I did purchase two items: a pair of running shoes – because I am old, you know, and my ancient knees couldn’t withstand two-year-old running shoes; and a Cover Girl lip gloss in my favorite shade … because while I vowed to be frugal, I never committed to a year of hideous!].

And the Number One reason Shop-Not rocks…

Pedro Mae!


Pedro lives in Bolivia with his mother and five siblings, and we are so honored to sponsor him through Compassion International with the money I saved from the Shop-Not Project. Pedro’s picture hangs on our refrigerator, and every time I look at his brown eyes and solemn face, I pray that our sponsorship will make a difference in his life.

And can I let you in on a secret? You don’t have to give up shopping for a year to be able to afford a sponsorship. It costs just $38 a month to sponsor Pedro. Seriously. That’s hardly more than the cost of a few lattes and maybe a new lipstick and the fall issue of In Style magazine.

The truth is, it’s not a huge sacrifice. But it makes a huge difference.

Want to learn more? Visit Compassion — in addition to sponsorships, there are a whole lot of ways to make an impact on children and families across the globe.

And consider reading The Hole in Our Gospel, by Richard Stearns. This is the book (along with Ann Voskamp’s posts about her Compassion trip to Guatemala) that prompted the Shop-Not Project (my church is studying the book this fall, so I’ll be reading it again with my small group and writing more about The Hole in Our Gospel here beginning in October).

In the meantime, I simply want to say thanks for your support and encouragement along the way. If it wasn’t for this blogging endeavor, I may never have had the courage to launch the Shop-Not Project, and I may never have been blessed with the opportunity to sponsor little Pedro.

“Being a Christian, or follower of Jesus Christ, requires much more than just having a personal and transforming relationship with God. It also entails a public and transforming relationship with the world…Living out our faith privately was never meant to be an option.”

“There is no ‘whole gospel’ without compassion and justice shown to the poor. It’s that simple.” — Richard Stearns

“If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:17-18

Curious about the Shop-Not journey? You can read other posts I wrote about it during the past 12 months here.

  



Tips for Successful Shop-Notting

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Less than three months to go on the Shop-Not Project – if I reach September 1, I’ll have gone the full 12 months without purchasing any clothing, shoes, accessories, purses or the like.

Honestly, I’ve been tempted more than once (read about the Great Flip-Flop Temptation here), but over time I’ve developed a few strategies for keeping myself on the straight and narrow.

1. Procrastinate – If I think I have to buy something, I put off the decision…at least until the next time I shop. Even when I’m not doing Shop-Not, this diversion strategy helps me focus on whether I really want something, or if I am simply making an impulse purchase.

2. Shop with cash only – A couple of years ago Brad and I established a strict budget, allotting ourselves $100 per month each for personal spending. This $100 covers socializing (i.e. dinner, drinks, movies, golf), clothing, accessories, books and frivolous household purchases (pretty dishtowels, just because). Let me tell you, you spend your cash wisely if you know you have a finite amount of it each month.

3. Don’t browse catalogs or sales flyers – All those Lands End and Pier I catalogs that stack up in the mailbox? They go directly into the recycling bin. And the Kohl’s and Target flyers that come in Sunday’s paper? I recycle those without even looking at them, too. Why pine over cute aundresses and strappy wedges when I know I can’t buy them? Recycling cuts down on the Shop-Not angst.

4. Avoid shopping carts – This one is a suggestion from Andrew Mellen, author of Unstuff Your Life. How many times have you gone into Target for a single item and left with four brimming bags and a receipt for $150? Yeah, I thought so. It’s the story of my life, too. Now when I walk through Target’s automatic doors with one item in mind, I grab just the small plastic basket…or none at all. That way I’m not tempted to fill a cart with merchandise I don’t need [I will point out, though, that lipstick, jewelry and hair accessories fit rather well in a hand basket. Just saying.].

5. Don’t shop for entertainment – This is another of Mellon’s suggestions…and this is how we know Andrew is a Man. There are some things Men simply can’t understand, like the fact that women shop for entertainment. Period. And when we shop with girlfriends, forget it – all hope for pragmatic purchasing is gone. That said, I see where Andrew is headed with this. If you don’t need to shop, find something else to do – go out for a latte with your girlfriend, meet for a margarita, get a pedicure – anything is less expensive than hitting Banana Republic with your BFF.

That’s all I’ve got, people – well, that and an envelope in my cabinet marked “Shop-Not Compassion.” And that’s really all the incentive I need.


What about you? Have you ever employed one of these tactics to help limit your own spending? What other strategies do you use to cut down on shopping or spending?

Curious about my year-long Shop-Not Project? Click here for the story of what prompted the whole gig. Click here to read other posts in the Shop-Not Chronicles.

The Challenge: A Guest Post by Sara Spohr

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I’m so excited to introduce my friend (and pastor!) Sara Spohr to you today. Sara embarked upon her own shop-not initiative a couple of years ago when she decided that she would only purchase items she needed (as opposed to wanted) for one year. Here’s her reflection on the experience:

It was my stubborn side that accepted the challenge. Over coffee with a friend one day I dissed the author of a book I was reading at the time, about a couple who went a year without buying anything. In all honesty, I didn’t think the author had made her adventure difficult enough. My condescending review of the book came to an abrupt end when my friend said: “Sara, you could never do that.”

At that point belligerence must have taken over for arrogance because I heard myself blurt out, without having fully processed what it might mean: “Oh yes I could.” She challenged, and I accepted.

The time frame would be one year and it would start immediately. The rules would be simple, I could not buy anything that I did not need for one full year.

As one might imagine, it was absolutely not that simple.

I learned a lot of things in my year without shopping, perhaps the most important of which was the difference between a need and a want.

First, I learned that different people have different and definite opinions as to what qualifies as a need. I learned this the first time my tube of bamboo pink lipstick ran out. I milked that little silver tube far longer than I normally would have because I was having an ethical dilemma about which category lipstick should land under.

Is it a need? I wanted it to be a need…but I was pretty sure it was a want.

I asked my hip and stylish friend, who just happens to be a girly-girl, what she thought. “Need. Definitely a need,” was her response. But who am I kidding, I knew she would say that before I asked her. That’s why I asked her.

Next I asked a much more sensible, thrifty, and perfectly practical friend. She laughed at me. Her response was as definite as the first: want.

I remembered a conversation I’d had with my grandma when I was about 25. She asked me why I wore make up. I said because it helped me to feel strong, confident, and “put-together.” My grandma approved of this response, saying that if I had said it made me feel “more beautiful” she would not have approved. In some twisted way I manipulated my now-deceased grandmother’s words to offer her approval now to filing the lipstick purchase in the “need” category.

Which brings me to the second thing I learned about the difference between a want and a need, which is: A person can find a way to justify the “need” label on almost anything.

No, I don’t need to go out for supper with friends, but I do need a social life. I need to have fun with friends and enjoy those relationships. No, I don’t need to buy this nice birthday gift for my sister, but I want to go shopping and I am going to buy this gift for my sister and not feel guilty about it. I do need to recognize how important my sister is to me and this gift will do it. In my home budget, cable tv, internet service, and a cell phone are all necessary line items. Who would question that? I would. I did. I still am. They are wants and not needs. I hate admitting that.

In the end, I learned that the line between need and want is not as “fine” as I would like to make it. Obviously this challenge of mine came up in many a conversation. People wanted to know how I decided to do this. What was the motivation? Was it difficult? Eventually the question was always asked: how do you decide what is a need and what is a want? When I did not have the time for an in-depth conversation about on this point I would simply say, “It’s a fine line.” To which the person or persons would nod their heads and agree that it really was.

It’s not.

Truthfully I have everything I need. It actually took me a whole month after the year was over to purchase something as a pure “want,” because I came to know that I did not need anything. I need nothing. I’d love to say it changed my life, and now I am thrifty and live simply and examine each and every purchase thoughtfully and faithfully. The fact is, I was recently “snowed in” and that day I made two completely impulsive and unnecessary online purchases.

Whenever I do that, the real learning from my year of not shopping suddenly seems to appear in bold and flashing type face before me: you don’t need that. What I really need is a God who provides, forgives, strengthens, and sends. I know I already have this very God in my life, but the challenge now is to daily remember who God has asked me to be and be it.

Challenge accepted.

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Thank you, Sara, for your hard, honest look at need vs. want. I’m so grateful to feature your wise words here today.

And for more stories in the Shop Not Chronicles, click here.

Leftovers

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Launching the Shop-Not Project felt good. When I embarked on my year-long hiatus from shopping last September, I felt noble…until a few months into it, that is, when I realized the flaw in my plan:

I was giving God the leftovers.

The Shop-Not Project works like this: My husband and I agree on a monthly personal cash allotment for each of us. I don’t spend any of that cash on clothes, jewelry, shoes, makeup or accessories – I don’t shop for any personal items for twelve months. At the end of each month, I take what’s left from my personal cash and tuck it into the envelope marked “Shop-Not Money.” At the end of the year, I donate what’s been saved to Compassion.

Sounds like the perfect plan, right? Like I said, noble and good. But read that second to last sentence again: At the end of each month, I take what’s left from my personal cash…

I take what’s leftover and give it to God.

…I’m over at Ginny’s place today. Will you join me there?

Finding Everlasting: A Guest Post by Jen Ferguson

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I am delighted to welcome Jen Ferguson to Graceful today. Jen has a great big heart and writes with incredible honesty at her blog, Finding Heaven. I love how Jen tells it just like it is – flaws, foibles, fabulousness and everything in between! And if you aren’t familiar with her Tuesday community, Soli Deo Gloria, please do check it out – Jen has established a wonderfully nurturing community of writers, thinkers and believers, a true sisterhood in grace.

Now here’s Jen Ferguson, on Finding Everlasting…

I believe God has given us so much on this earth for us to enjoy. I think He desires for our lives to be full of joy, vitality, and pleasure. I think He smiles when we enjoy a cool dip in a pool on a hot summer’s day. He takes pleasure when we stand back from a room that we have recently redone and feel a sense of coziness. He enjoys seeing us revel in a good book, having fun at an amusement park, or bowling with friends. He enjoys our enjoyment.

That being said, there can come times in our lives when pleasurable activities become something more for us than what they were initially intended to do.

Throughout my life, God has slowly been showing me ways that I have tried to fill emotional and spiritual needs with things that would ultimately never give me the satisfaction and fulfillment that I so desperately craved. First, we dealt with food. Next on the list? Shopping.

Honestly, I’m not that into make-up or trendy clothes (okay, maybe a little bit into the clothes), but I love to organize. I could live at the Container Store. Organization and a neat, orderly home help me to survive the chaotic schedule that sometimes is my life. I have often found refuge in a $5 plastic storage container from Target. It would make me giddy just to think of something new to put away in an orderly fashion. Or, wandering the aisles, I may pick up a new picture frame on clearance or a pretty new hand towel for the half-bath, just to fill the need for a new splash of beauty when my life felt particularly bleak.

I hadn’t realized that these seemingly small, inconsequential purchases were becoming detrimental to my relationship with God. I hadn’t realized that I was trying to fit cheap picture frames and shoe organizers into the places where only God should reside. But, God wants me to be joyful; He wants me to be full and He knows that these types of material goods only provide a temporary high. He wants to fill me with things everlasting, things that cannot be purchased off a shelf, things that will not eventually turn to ashes.

A few semesters ago, I participated in Beth Moore’s Daniel Bible study. The first meeting, she asked if we wanted to join her in a fast. She was fasting from the rich foods spoken of in the book of Daniel. I asked God, “From what could I fast? What could I give up for six weeks that might cause me to draw closer to You?”

“Shopping,” He said. “Buy nothing for yourself or for your house for six weeks.”

For six weeks, I bought no clothes, no make-up, no décor for my house. No jewelry, no candles, not even the registration for my marathon. During the time I wasn’t filling my closets or tables or drawers, God was busy teaching me how to turn to Him before I hand over my credit card. He taught me how to find refuge in Him during the storms of life instead of hunkering down in the aisles of Target. He taught me there was more peace to be found when I offer Him my day as opposed to buying a pretty new day planner. He showed me that the organization of my priorities was more crucial than the organization of my file cabinets and that the fullness of the life He has for me would never fit in the confines of a picture frame.

This shop-not wasn’t about depriving me of things that I loved to have or do. The purpose behind it was not to rob me of joy. It was to help me find it in a better, deeper, more fulfilling place. It was to cement in my spirit that the things of this world will pass away, but God will be my companion and my friend forever.

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Click here for other stories in the Shop-Not Chronicles, about my year of not shopping.

And I thank you, Jen, for the gift of you here today!