Michelle DeRusha

Every Day Faith. Faith Every Day.

faith and doubt

When a Spiritual Misfit Says Yes

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For a long time I was waiting for the perfect moment to declare my faith: the moment when I had everything figured out, all my questions answered, all my faith ducks in a row. I’d always assumed my faith would “begin” when I felt a certain way and acted a certain way.

I was waiting for all the pieces to fall into place so I could declare, once and for all, without a shadow of a doubt, that I believed in God.

The problem was, I didn’t know what that “certain way” was supposed to look like. Many of my questions seemed downright unanswerable. And a lot of my pieces had jagged edges that didn’t seem like they would ever fit.

…I’m over at my friend Heather Mertens’ place today, and she has a really cool giveaway going on. I won’t give away all the details, but I will say this: Spiritual Misfit is going on a trip! See you over there…

 

Learning to Live the Questions

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The necklace — a choker with a velvet strap and a single brilliant faux sapphire — sat within reach, right at the edge of the open desk. I wanted that necklace; I had to have it, the desire for it so strong it made my stomach clench. So while my third grade teacher bent low over my classmate’s shoulder, I quickly reached behind their backs, slid my fingers into the open desk and then slipped the velvet strand into the front pocket of my corduroys.

Regret rushed in almost instantly as the thrilling high of holding the treasure in my hand crashed into gut-wrenching fear. Stealing, I knew, was a ticket straight to hell. I’d broken one of the Ten Commandments, had committed a mortal sin, and there was only one way out of the hell fires for which I was bound: confession.

…I’m writing about doubt, unbelief, questions and hope for one of my favorite online venues, SheLoves Magazine, today. Join me over there?