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Michelle DeRusha

Every Day Faith. Faith Every Day.

how to love your neighbor

Where Do You Draw the Line?

February 7, 2017 By Michelle

Where do you draw the line?

A couple weekends ago my family and I spent some time with our Yazidi friend Azzat, and his wife and four kids at the Lincoln Children’s Museum. While we were there, Azzat spotted a large wall map, and he called us over so he could show us where he was from.

As he pointed to a tiny region in the northern part of Iraq, Azzat described what happened the morning ISIS invaded his village. He traced his finger along his family’s escape route, away from the mountain where hundreds of Yazidi people, trapped by ISIS, would later die of starvation and dehydration.

Azzat also explained that the Yazidi people have been persecuted by ISIS because they are not “people of the book,” as he put it. Unlike Christians, who have the Bible (which isn’t to say Christians have not been persecuted by ISIS); Jews, who have the Torah; and Muslims, who have the Koran, the Yazidi people do not have a sacred text. Their lack of a sacred book is unacceptable to radical extremist groups like ISIS.

It’s where ISIS draws the line and how they justify their persecution of the Yazidi people.

God used Azzat’s story to remind me that I, too, have a line I’ve drawn. Obviously I’m not going to execute anyone on the other side of my line. But what I realized, in reflecting on Azzat’s story, is that there are people on one side of my line I accept, and on the other side, people I am against.

I did not vote for Donald Trump, and in the months following his election, I have publicly denounced what I consider his moral and ethical flaws and his hostile views of marginalized people. Privately, in my heart and among my closest confidants, I have also denounced those who elected Donald Trump president.

It’s been easy for me to keep Trump supporters “over there,” on the other side of my line, in the “unacceptable” camp. Easy, that is, until I opened my Bible and read this verse in Paul’s letter to the Philippians:

“Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you’re on their side, working with them and not against them.” (4:5-8)

Note Paul’s word choice: “to all you meet.” He isn’t referring only to the people we consider “on our side.” According to Paul, we are to be on the side of everyone we meet, not just the people who think, act, look, worship, or vote like we do.

My friend Helen did not vote for Donald Trump. However, in the days following the election, instead of railing publicly or privately against those “on the other side,” Helen made a different choice: she invited a small group of Trump supporters to her home to share a meal and conversation.

In extending that invitation, Helen made it clear that she was interested in working with, rather than against, the people who thought and voted differently from her.

As she later explained, “We would do well by each other to share a meal with those whose perspectives differ from our own in an effort to understand the complexity of their humanness. We mature and grow when we spend time with those who challenge us.”

I don’t know who is on the other side of your line. But I do know this: even when we don’t stand with their beliefs, we can and should stand with all our brothers and sisters, each of whom has been created in the image of God.

This post was originally published in the Lincoln Journal Star. 

Filed Under: love Tagged With: Donald Trump, how to love your neighbor, the other, Yazidi refugees

Weekend One Word: Harmony

May 14, 2016 By Michelle

Harmony

Last night at dinner a friend of mine expressed her exasperation and frustration over a neighborhood dispute. Long story short, the dispute — which was, as most disputes are, over something quite silly (a fence and a few feet of property) — had caused feelings of ill-will, tension and unrest between my friend and her neighbor and in the neighborhood generally.

From my perspective, as an observer viewing the situation from a distance, it all seemed unnecessary and, frankly, sad. Yet so often, this is what we do (and to be clear, I’m not immune). We sacrifice peace and harmony for the sake of our pride. We decide that this right here is the hill we are willing to die on.

I know how easy it is for a situation like my friend’s to snowball into an all-out war. I’ve been there. I’ve been that neighbor, that co-worker, that friend. I’ve dug in my heels and staked my life on the most ridiculous hills. And I’ve been in my friend’s position as well – on the defensive, reeling and scrambling to find a toe-hold.

The truth is, people are annoying. They hold opinions, beliefs, and values that are different from our own. They make decisions that affect us – decisions we don’t like. They say the most infuriating, inane things.

Sometimes we are the ones impacted by the annoying people.

Sometimes we are the annoying people ourselves.

But here’s the bottom line: annoying or not, God calls us to live in harmony with our neighbors – even the neighbors we don’t like. It’s hard work, this living in community with annoying people. It’s not fun. It’s not all hamburgers on the grill and cold bottles of beer in our hands.

Living in harmony calls for sacrifice. Sometimes it calls for laying down our pride, even when — especially when — we believe we are in the right. Living in harmony asks us to differentiate between a mountain and a hill, to know when to stake our lives, and when to wave the white flag.

Notice the exact words of this verse: “May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus.” 

Complete harmony. Not partial harmony, not defensive harmony, not begrudging harmony – complete harmony.

Impossible, right? I mean, the neighbor is annoying, right? How is complete harmony possible with the annoying neighbor when even civil tolerance feels like a stretch?

Friends, that’s why this verse is a prayer. Paul knew we couldn’t live in complete harmony with our neighbors on our own. That’s why he prays to God on our behalf – May God, who gives us patience and encouragement (two key virtues, especially when it comes to annoying neighbors), help us live in complete harmony with each other.  

It’s not easy to live in complete harmony with our neighbors, especially the annoying ones. But nothing is impossible with God.

Peace and harmony for your weekend and always, lovely friends.

Filed Under: neighbors, One Word Tagged With: how to love your neighbor, One Word

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For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a Triple Type A, “make it happen” (my dad’s favorite mantra) striver and achiever (I’m a 3 on the Enneagram, which tells you everything you need to know), but these days my striving looks more like sitting in silence on a park bench, my dog at my feet, as I slowly learn to let go of the false selves that have formed my identity for decades and lean toward uncovering who God created me to be.

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