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Michelle DeRusha

Every Day Faith. Faith Every Day.

living feeds writing

How to Know When It’s Time to Refill the Well

May 26, 2016 By Michelle

peonyvase2

I spent last weekend away from my computer. I didn’t respond to the emails stacking up in my in-box. I didn’t check Facebook and like, like, like post after post. I didn’t blog or tweet or scroll.

Instead, I laid down a drop cloth on the back lawn and spray painted a bedside table white. And then I spray painted an old-fashioned metal milk jug and a crock that I’ve thought about donating to the Goodwill. I decided to keep it; I like it white.

While those dried in the May breeze, I wiped the pollen off the patio table, swept the cement free of oak tree seedlings, refilled the oriole and finch feeders, and cut the biggest bouquet of white peonies ever known to humankind. I arranged the blooms in my mother-in-law’s vase and placed it on the dining room sideboard in front of the window. Within an hour, the whole first floor of my house was filled with the scent of peony.

I played Sorry! with Rowan on the back patio while the chickadees and nut hatches flitted in the birch tree overhead. I rode my bike with Noah to Shopko to check out a dehumidifier on sale, and then took the long way home, wending through the neighborhoods, admiring the way the cottonwood leaves swished and sizzled in the wind.

In short, I did a whole lot of nothing. I puttered in my yard, which is among my favorite things to do. I rested my brain and moved my body and let my mind wander. I reminded myself that there’s more to life, a whole lot more, than social media shares and clicking “publish.”

I published my first blog post on July 27, 2009, nearly seven years ago. Since then I’ve written here regularly, two to three times a week (when I first started I wrote five days a week – egad!). I’ve also written three books, the third of which I just finished editing, and 84 columns for the Lincoln Journal Star. Now that I’ve largely finished Katharina and Martin, I’ve been asked, more than once, “So what’s next? Do you have another book in mind?”

My honest answer is, I don’t know.

“I feel like I’ve written everything I have to say,” I heard myself say to my mom recently. I’ve been wrestling with writer’s block and creative ennui. I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know what book I might want to write. I don’t even know what blog post I want to write.

Amid all the questions with no answers, one thing is clear: It’s time for a break. My boys are out of school and on break, and we’re traveling more than usual this summer. Instead of making myself crazy, I’ve decided to let some of the writing go.

The good news is, I have a group of delightful, talented writers to introduce you to in June. These are people whose work I love and respect, and I am excited for you to get to know them, too, if you don’t already.

I’ll also continue my Spiritual Habits series on Tuesdays throughout the month of June.

But other than that, it’s time to refill the well – to clip fragrant bouquets from the garden; to pedal aimlessly in the shade of cottonwood trees; to walk barefoot across sun-warmed cement; to paint furniture and read mystery novels and slice strawberries and water the basil.

It’s time to remind myself that I do indeed have a life worth writing about. But in order to do that, I have to live it first.

P.S. One place I will still likely be during my sort-of writing/social media hiatus is Instagram. Are you on Instagram? I’d love to connect with you over there. 

Filed Under: writing Tagged With: living feeds writing, the writing life

Living, breathing, running, walking, hugging, reading, smiling, laughing, dog-petting

May 14, 2014 By Michelle

cultivacoffeeAs I write this I’m sitting in a coffee shop, one I’ve never been to before. It’s edgy and funky and I don’t fit in. I’m the only person wearing a J.C. Penny blazer and dainty sandals and color in a room smattered with black, combat boots, and gauged ears (and just so you know, I had to Google “What’s it called when people wear those huge circle earrings in their ears?”). I’ve got Ellie Holcomb blasting in my ear buds to drown out the clearly-I-have-no-idea-who-this-is playing over the speakers.

But it’s all good. This coffee shop, this eclectic group of people, even the music I can still hear over Ellie — something that sounds a lot like elephants trumpeting, I think it might be jazz or maybe heavy metal — it’s all exactly what I need. Something different. Something outside my typical zone, a zone which largely consists of my writing desk and my kitchen with an occasional foray to the bathroom, Monday-Friday between the hours of 9 a.m. and 2:45 p.m.

I need different because I need a break.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for these last few weeks and months. The book, the launch, the guests posts, the social media blitz, the readings and speaking. It’s been awesome. Far better than I could have ever expected or imagined. And I am in awe of the work God has already done with this little book and my little platform.

But I’m just now realizing that I’m tired. Frankly, I’m a little tired of my book and I’m a lot tired of myself. And if I’m really honest, I’m a little tired of writing about God and faith and the journey. I know. I’m cringing as I write that, because it’s a little scary for a woman who makes a living and a calling out of writing about God and faith to be tired of writing about God and faith.

But there it is. It’s the truth. And it’s called burn-out.

cultivacoffee2I’ve been feeling a few nudges here and there, prompts from God to take a break. The timing isn’t great, I know that. The book’s only been out a month; I’m sure there’s more speaking or tweeting that could be done. I’m sure I’m supposed to be hosting giveaways on Goodreads or the like. But for some reason I’m listening to my heart instead of my head. And my heart is saying stop. Or at least slow.

So. Here’s the plan, if you can call it that.

I plan to spend more time reading and less time skimming and scrolling.

More time making eye contact with my children and less time glancing at them distractedly over the computer screen.

More time talking to my mom and my sister and my BFF on the phone while I’m tucked into a cozy chair with a cup of tea in my hand, instead of from the driver’s seat of my mini-van as I’m hurtling across town.

More time looking for the elusive orioles who have moved into the neighborhood and less time looking at my Amazon rank.

More time sipping wine on the back patio with my husband. More time sprawled on the floor next to my dog. More time sitting on my lounge chair with nothing in my hands — not my smart phone, not my laptop — except a good book.

If I’m here at little more sporadically than my usual Monday-Wednesday-Friday-Saturday, you now know why. If I write a little more about birds or books instead of the Bible for a while, you now know why. If I quit squawking about my book, you now know why. If I don’t update you on my “status” twenty-four-seven, and fail to post the super cutest Instagrams you now know why.

Friends, I’m going to get back to living, breathing, running, walking, hugging, reading, smiling, laughing, dog-petting and being for a while. I’d love to have good long chat with you over a cup of Ethiopian dark roast. Let’s meet at the edgy, funky coffee shop across town — the place that doesn’t quite fit but feels perfectly right.

Filed Under: writing, writing and faith Tagged With: living feeds writing

Living Feeds Writing

August 30, 2013 By Michelle

If you are visiting from Jeff Goins’ place today, hello! Thanks for stopping by! I write three or four times a week in this space, often about the intersection of life and faith, occasionally about writing, too, as I am currently on the new and unfamiliar road to publishing (my first book, Spiritual Misfit: A Memoir of Uneasy Faith, will be published by Convergent/Random House in April 2014). I hope you linger awhile and find something that piques your interest.

 

The day my agent suggested that I concentrate on three areas — writing, building a platform and strengthening my social media presence — I hung up the phone determined.

That was the day I stripped what I considered all extraneous activity from my life.

I resigned from my book club.

I stopped running.

I told friends I was too busy to meet for margaritas.

The garden withered. The stack of paperbacks on my nightstand sat untouched beneath a layer of dust.

My relentless focus on writing, social media and platform-building produced results. I finished writing one book and started another, launched a newspaper column, published five blog posts a week and grew my Twitter following. Google Analytics tracked a slow but steady increase in visitors to my blog. I was pleased.

Until, that is, I suddenly had nothing to say.

…I’m super excited to be guest posting over at Jeff Goins’ place today! Join me over there for the rest of this story? 

Filed Under: writing Tagged With: Jeff Goins, living feeds writing

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For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a Triple Type A, “make it happen” (my dad’s favorite mantra) striver and achiever (I’m a 3 on the Enneagram, which tells you everything you need to know), but these days my striving looks more like sitting in silence on a park bench, my dog at my feet, as I slowly learn to let go of the false selves that have formed my identity for decades and lean toward uncovering who God created me to be.

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