Simon fishing

Two weeks ago, while vacationing in the Florida Keys, I read Kisses from Katie, a memoir written by a woman who, when she graduated from high school, moved to Uganda, launched an education and hunger mission and adopted 14 orphan girls – all before she turned twenty.

That’s right, I read Kisses from Katie while lolling on the beach, eating Key Lime Pie and sipping margaritas. The gross irony was not lost on me.

Anyway, Katie made a number of hugely compelling statements in that book, including this:

“I believe that God totally, absolutely intentionally gives us more than we can handle. Because this is how we surrender to Him and He takes over, proving Himself by doing the impossible in our lives.”

Truthfully, I’ve always bought into the adage, “God never gives you more than you can handle.” But now, I’m beginning to wonder if Katie Davis is right.

With only a single cover-to-cover read-through of the Bible under my belt, I can tell you this with certainty: the Bible is radical. Jesus is super radical. And he expects us to be radical, too. Not necessarily move-to-Uganda-and-adopt-14-orphans radical. But radical nonetheless. There’s simply no getting around it. You can’t read the Bible without feeling compelled to do something for the least of these. And if you can, I say you need to go back and read it again.

I’ve been feeling something lately, a movement underfoot, a sense that God wants me to do something big. As Brad said, when I mentioned I’d been feeling a Holy Spirit push, “That’s a little scary.” I agree. It is scary. Because frankly, I don’t want the Holy Spirit to ask me to do something that makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want the Holy Spirit to give me more than I can handle. Sometimes just getting my people off to school with their backpacks and lunch bags and their shoes tied feels like more than I can handle. But I suspect the Holy Spirit has something bigger in mind.

I already wrote about the story in Luke 5 a couple of weeks ago, and it just so happens that we read that very story yesterday in church, which meant I had to write about it again for this post. I wasn’t sure I’d have anything else to say. But I was wrong. It seems that story – especially the part about Simon Peter, James and John dropping their nets, pulling their boats onto the beach and following Jesus – reminds me of Katie Davis, which reminds me that Holy Spirit has something big for me to do.

Leaving their entire livelihood to follow Jesus seems beyond what an ordinary person could handle. But that’s exactly what the ordinary disciples did. And it’s what ordinary Katie Davis did, too. I’m sure they were afraid. I’m sure they wondered if they were making the right decision. I’m sure they felt like the whole thing was a bit much. But they did it anyway.

I don’t know what my “something big” is yet. Honestly, I’ve been avoiding asking God about it. But I have a feeling he’s going to tell me anyway. And along with it, he has this to say:

“There is nothing to fear.” (Luke 5:10) So for now, I’m clinging to that.

Do you believe, like Katie Davis states, that God intentionally gives us more than we can handle? How does that make you feel?

Joining with Ann Voskamp for Her Walk with Him Wednesday series. She’s writing about Radical: Right Where You Are (and she wrote about Katie Davis and Kisses for Katie, too — how ’bout that?!)

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When I read the article in the Sunday paper, I knew what I had to do.

The story was about Carolyn, a mom of five young boys. She’d wrangled everyone into the car one morning and drove across town to Elliott Elementary, where they were having a winter coat drive for families in need. The problem was that by the time Carolyn got herself and her five boys to the school that morning, a sign was already posted on the door: coats and clothing gone. Not a single glove, hat or jacket was left.

When I read that, and thought of Carolyn standing tired and frustrated outside the school with all her kids, it was perfectly clear what I should do. God practically printed the instructions for me in black ink across the newspaper page. The trouble was that I didn’t particularly want to do it. I didn’t want to go to the trouble of emailing the reporter and tracking down the contact information for Carolyn. And worse, I didn’t want to call a perfect stranger to have an awkward conversation and risk sounding like a creepy lunatic.

Recently I read the story in Luke in which Jesus sends Simon Peter back out to sea to fish. In the past I’ve always focused on the “following” aspect of this story – the fact that Simon Peter abandons all his worldly possessions and his livelihood to follow Jesus to become a “fisher of men.” But this time I noticed something else. When Jesus instructs Simon to return to sea to let down his nets again, Simon Peter says this:

“Master, we worked hard all last night and didn’t catch a thing. But if you say so, I’ll let the nets down again.” (Luke 5:5, NLT)

Can you hear the doubt and reluctance in Simon Peter’s answer? “But if you say so,” he says begrudgingly, wearily. I can almost hear his thought-process – “What a waste of time, I was out there all night and didn’t catch a single fish. I don’t feel like dealing with the hassle of heading back out. But whatever…if you say so…”

The key is that Simon Peter obeys God; he acts in obedience, in spite of his reluctance and doubt. In spite of the fact that he simply does not want to.

“Go out where it is deeper,” Jesus tells Simon Peter.

Go deeper.

Where does God want us to go when we distrust or feel inclined to disobey? He wants us to go deeper – acting, following, obeying; walking obediently through distrust and out the other side.

I finally called Carolyn. I admit, I procrastinated for a day or so after I got her telephone number from the reporter. But I finally made the call. And yeah, I felt silly and awkward, and I stammered and stuttered my way through the conversation. In the end it turned out that my call to Carolyn wasn’t the first she’d received. Others had read the same article and made the same call (and clearly they hadn’t procrastinated), and her boys were all properly outfitted for the winter by the time I contacted her.

The call wasn’t entirely fruitless though. Although Carolyn didn’t need my help, making the call had actually helped me. I’d gone deeper, pushing through my reluctance and distrust, obeying God when I didn’t particularly want to, and emerging grateful and somehow fuller on the other side.

So tell me…when have you obeyed God when you didn’t particularly want to? Did you learn anything?

Writing about spiritual practices {practicing obedience} with Ann today.

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