Michelle DeRusha

Every Day Faith. Faith Every Day.

Spiritual Misfit

What To Do When Your Kids Don’t Believe (Right Now)

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If you are popping in from the lovely Ann Voskamp’s place, welcome! I’m so glad you are visiting, and I hope you find a bit to enjoy around these parts. I am smiling at the opportunity to meet some new friends today, so feel free to say hello in the comments!

“I think I’m in a not-believing-in-God stage,” he declares, holding his fork high in the air over his dinner plate like Lady Liberty’s torch.

It’s an ordinary dinner hour.

The four of us sit around the dining room table, plates of mashed potatoes and meatloaf set before us on the polished oak.

The kid’s trying hard to sound nonchalant, but as I peer around the vase and meet his wide, unblinking eyes across the table, I can tell my son is afraid.

I lay my own fork down next to my plate.

I’m not sure I’m breathing.

The truth is, a declaration like this can stop you dead in your tracks, fork frozen mid-air…

…What I really want to do is jump up and down and shout, “I’m at Ann Voskamp’s place, I’m at Ann Voskamp’s place! ” but I will try to maintain a shred of dignity and simply invite you over to Ann Voskamp’s blog to read a guest post I am delighted to have over there today. Thanks, friends…

Let Us Proclaim the Mystery of Faith

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One of the unexpected blessings along this road to publishing has been the opportunity to meet new writer-friends. Heather Caliri is one of these people. Heather writes at A Little Yes, where she chronicles her adventures in what she calls “post-perfectionist faith.” (I love that!) Her blog “is about getting off the parade route of Christian success culture. It’s about becoming grafted into the Vine, instead of doing spiritual pushups. It’s about making simple changes with profound implications.”

A few weeks ago Heather interviewed me about Spiritual Misfit, and I have to say, she was remarkably patient with the myriad interruptions of kids and dogs. At one point I sat outside in the mini-van with the engine and the air conditioning blasting, just to get a little peace and quiet.

Here’s a little bit from our chat that day, but I’d love for you to hop over to Heather’s place to read the whole conversation – she asks really good questions!

Asking yourself a simple question about believing in God—why not?–transformed your faith. I too have been knocked sideways by the power of a few deceptively easy questions. What is it about questions that’s so transformative?

We are not typically encouraged to ask questions in society—or, partly, in Christian culture. We hear Biblical stories and what our minister tells us, and we are expected to take that as absolute fact. And move on.

I was not able to do that. I am a questioning, skeptical person in my soul. I like digging into things. So I had a lot of question about God, Jesus, heaven, and hell.

I squelched them.

And as time passed, I drew further away from God.

It was only when I gave myself permission to ask questions that things changed. I asked, “Why not consider faith?”

I was a non-believer that pretended that I had faith. Even admitting that I was not a believer was a major turning point.

You can’t begin to believe in God until you’re come clean.

It’s funny, I had been taught to not ask questions as a believer, so when I became an unbeliever, I didn’t question that either. Unbelief became my identity.

When I asked, “Why not?” it turned my whole identity upside down.

…Read more from my conversation with Heather over at A Little Yes. 

When a Spiritual Misfit Says Yes

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For a long time I was waiting for the perfect moment to declare my faith: the moment when I had everything figured out, all my questions answered, all my faith ducks in a row. I’d always assumed my faith would “begin” when I felt a certain way and acted a certain way.

I was waiting for all the pieces to fall into place so I could declare, once and for all, without a shadow of a doubt, that I believed in God.

The problem was, I didn’t know what that “certain way” was supposed to look like. Many of my questions seemed downright unanswerable. And a lot of my pieces had jagged edges that didn’t seem like they would ever fit.

…I’m over at my friend Heather Mertens’ place today, and she has a really cool giveaway going on. I won’t give away all the details, but I will say this: Spiritual Misfit is going on a trip! See you over there…

 

When You Want a Media-Worthy Miracle

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I was out front, watering the garden that runs along the white picket fence, when I heard my son Noah yell. “Quick, Mommy! Quick! Come here! Hurry!”

His voice was urgent, pressing, so much so that I stopped what I was doing and quickly walked over to where he was crouched at the curb. I bent down next to him, concerned that something was the matter, but he just pointed into the air.

Floating on a gentle current along the tops of the phlox was a curious bug, a miniscule creature about a quarter the size of my pinkie nail. It looked to me like a thin shred of paper, the handmade kind – bumpy, lumpy, pasty paper with bits of flower petals and leaves rolled into it.

…I’m over at (in)courage again today, with part 2 of my guest post series on Spiritual Misfit. While you’re there, don’t forget to visit Monday’s post for a chance to win a copy of the book! See you over there…

Tell the Truth as You Understand It

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“So I’m halfway through your book,” she says, as we stand next to the coffee percolator and the table piled high with double chocolate muffins. We chat for a bit about my memoir, and initially I feel pleased, but a few minutes later, after she’s turned away to refill her Styrofoam cup, panic clenches deep in the pit of my stomach.

I’m struck by the awkwardness of the situation. After all, I am about to interview this woman for a ministry position at my church, and it’s clear she knows more about me – a lot more about me – than I do about her. Worse, though, I suddenly feel anxious and insecure.

Scenes from my book flash through my mind, like the one in which I launch a fist-full of crunched up Cheez-Its at my young son in a fit of pre-bedtime lunacy.

Or the scene in which I mercilessly judge another woman, seething with envy over the fact that she looks like Gwyneth Paltrow in her name-brand jeans and her perfectly coiffed hair while I, in my droopy-bum yoga pants and my pilly fleece sweatshirt, resemble an out-of-shape version of Richard Simmons.

…I’m super excited that Spiritual Misfit is being featured by (in)courage as a Recommended Read, and we’re doing a giveaway over there today! Come by (in)courage for the rest of the story…